Tag: being silly

Organized

You know, I sometimes feel extremely disorganized, but then, when I pause to think about it, I realize that I am very much not disorganized, not in the least. Really, I’m just lazy, and I don’t want to out in the work to make things run more smoothly and to have them appear to all, myself included, as organized. So, instead, I roll through everything in my head, and I have it all organized there, but rarely so out in the world around me.

And so, now that I’m teaching again, I’m wondering if I wouldn’t mind teaching for real again, if I just took the darn time to sit down and organize everything out on paper for the whole four years of coursework. If I did that, I think I might love teaching and be fulfilled by it in a way that I never was before. There was too much strain and stress to meet goals and standards and to figure things out quickly along the way. But, if I weren’t so lazy, it might save me loads of stress and hassle and strain for years, and, therefore, be worth the effort…

But do I really want to teach for years?

Post-a-day 2021

Where’s the beach?

That moment of ironic joy when the guy who was attempting to grab a girl’s attention by flexing 1) makes the girl laugh, and then 2) is shown up 1000 times over by the guy sitting next to him who just happened to play along with the silliness… And we’re talking the skinny-boy comedic rendition of flexing from the former, and then the genuine, ‘Oh, wow…’, ‘Those are real man muscles,’ kind of flexing from the latter.

What a great thing to be able to witness. 😛

Post-a-day 2021

Speaking of friends

Talk about friendship… I just sent this message to someone who has only more recently entered into my life:

Please, take this the best way possible:

1) I purposely fully undressed before brushing my teeth (before showering) tonight, because I felt like you would be proud.
2) I likely will think of you close to 90% of the time I walk around without underwear on from now onward.

Just wanted you to know 😂

Clearly I love and trust her.

I went to a late dinner tonight – though, I only had churros, and intentionally so* – with two other younger adults, early twenties. Afterward, the girl was discussing how she was annoyed at the guy’s behavior, that he was rude and that the dinner was pointless.

I disagreed with her. I told her that I felt the guy was lonely. He invited us to hang out for a quick dinner, as he put it, and then he told us that he had plans for afterward. When just he and I had been hanging initially, I really enjoyed hearing all about his work and his passion for it. I think he’s a really nice guy who wants to be loved and accepted, and is a bit lonely, and is still working on how to handle all of that.

She said to me, “That’s a really mature way of thinking about it.”

My first thought, after my initial stun, of course, was, Well, duh…

The irony of that thought did not evade me. 😛

Having observed her behavior at the dinner and time the three of us were together, and listened to her words and her guidance of the main conversation, I knew she did not see it how I did (at least, not until I shared with her about it.). And yet, I couldn’t imagine seeing things the way she (and sometimes the guy) saw and evaluated things. I just don’t think that way. To use her phrasing, I almost always think maturely about it all. Anything less makes no sense to me.

But my aunt always said I was born 25 and only ever got older…

*They were my chocolate bar the priest told me to eat this weekend, my intentional small pleasure.

Post-a-day 2021

Moving on up

I guess you could say my credits finally transferred fully today. You see, I started out in the adult division this sprint as a yellow belt, not white. But I hadn’t done any adult division before this year – only junior division. But I had gotten to the top belt level in the junior division, red belt.

Nowadays, they offer a dual credit, where junior students who are close to the age limit for juniors can take the tests for the adult belts, alongside their junior belt tests. That way, when they reach the adult age group, they don’t have to begin again at white, but just can continue. That was not a thing when I was a kid, however.

Nonetheless, the instructor started me off with the second belt level, yellow. I did all the classes (and then some) and participated in and helped with the tournament, and then took the belt test and moved up a level, to orange.

But then, the instructor asked if I would be comfortable, if given approval by the head of the whole organization, moving up a few belt levels at the upcoming belt test. I was, and I told her so.

A few days later, she told me that I not only would be able to move over a few levels, but that I would be passing through another three levels (four total), and would be testing to receive my brown belt (the one just below black).

I was excited, but knew a lot of work would be needed in order to pass the test – I definitely did not know the katas.

However, these past several days, I have learned them.

Tonight, I performed them, as well as the original kata I created this morning while on a break at school.

And no onlookers would have known that I learned them all in under a week, with only a total of about two hours of practice.

All in all, I did an excellent job on the test as a whole, which is exactly what I had wanted to do. Still room for improvement on site-ups speed and katas. All the test, however, is golden.

And I am officially a brown belt in American Karate now, which is very, very cool.

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Class tomorrow

What am I doing in classes tomorrow? Unsure at present.

Am I worried? Not really, no.

I have a plan in place regarding what I shall look into first. I have a rough idea of how that will play out in terms of what we will do in class. And I have multiple back-up plans already in my mind.

I have a touch of stress about it, because it is not yet handled. But I was so exhausted last week, I knew I needed to go ahead and leave. I evaluated decently enough that I could handle what was next on Monday before classes, and that is just what I shall do.

I still have no locker, though, so it looks as though I simply will arrive to school…. oh, wait. Let me pack a towel and soap. I’ll shower quickly at the gym and go from there. I’m not having to make morning practice tomorrow, so I can handle it, just so long as I shower and change quickly. I don’t want to do that regularly, but I can make it happen for tomorrow this once.

Post-a-day 2021

Saturday night

I didn’t go right to sleep when I got home. I stressed a little, ate sufficient food, tidied a little further, then chatted for over three hours with a friend on the phone. At one point, she asked me how karate was going, and I ended up pulling myself off the floor and pulling out the videos of the katas I have to do this coming Monday. I mostly knew the steps of one, and the beginning of the other, from watching the videos and stepping through Thursday night after testing in class for the other stuff. Today and this week have been so exhausting, though, I had already forgotten about needing to learn the katas this weekend. But I got up and got to work.

She stayed with me on the phone as I did it, and she even commented that she felt like she understood exactly what I was doing, just by listening to me. Hearing me work through out loud each part and combination and re-doing and adding and remembering and learning and breathing and exclaiming thoughts, she was right there with me in my mind as I figured it all out and worked through everything. Sure, she knows next to nothing about karate. But she knows dance and she knows choreography, so she understands the process. I think it was actually a lot of unexpected fun for the both of us.

Anyway, I think I know the two katas now. I just have to focus tomorrow on the details of the various steps and movements, and then go through for nit-picking improvements with the instructor before actually performing them Monday evening.

And, of course, I have to make up my own and perform that, too…

On that note, though I stayed up way late doing all of that, I shall sleep now. I have much to do tomorrow, aside from all of this, already.

Post-a-day 2021

Bizarre

“He-llo.”

“Hey. What are you doing?”

“Wiping boogers on my knee, and marveling at how one looks like a squid.”

“…”

“…”

“Don’t you hate being dirty?”

“Yes. But I’m about to shower, and so a little bit more dirt apparently doesn’t bug me right now…”

“…Ooooo-kaaayyy…”

“I know… Trust me. I know…”

Gotta love the weird folks. 😛

P.S. Happy Friday, the 13th!!

Post-a-day 2021

Beginning to breathe

The first day of school was a decent success. Sure, it was way too hot in the building, though the air was blasting loudly – so loudly that it was difficult to hear many of the students through masks -, as it has almost entirely broken and is being coaxed into working reasonably until replacement parts can arrive (very expensive replacement parts). And yes, we ran out of time and didn’t finish half of what I had intended for the first class. However, I liked the kids, and I think the like and respect and, at least slightly, fear me. All of which is a very good beginning.

One student, upon recognizing me in the hall, immediately hugged me fervently, not for the first time. It was adorable, and also empowering. I had only been their teacher for nine weeks, and yet had made such an impact on the lives of several. I know that I will have to be the Mrs. Wood – the teacher who somehow made me feel pathetic and useless and not good enough and embarrassed, though I had always felt like she cared about me – and unintentionally cause upset for certain people, certain students. Not everyone is ready to hear me when I enter their lives. But, for the ones who are, it is magical to see how my dreams are being achieved in their successes moving forward in life.

I am terrified of all the work this will entail, the time it will take to do the job I want to do. And I am ready.

Let’s go, Clark*.

*Kent… because I am the superhero setting aside my workout gear, and putting on the undercover suit for a while.

Post-a-day 2021

School begins

Watch out, World! Tomorrow is the first day of school, and I’m coming for you.

It is consistently amazing how wonderful life can be, especially amidst all the junk and struggles, when we are honoring ourselves by being true to ourselves and being our best selves. I am being who I truly am, andI can hardly wait for what nonsense the World will throw at me tomorrow.

Bring it, my love, and we shall make beauty together. ❤

Post-a-day 2021