As things fall apart, I recall that some of the best opportunities present themselves in times of opening, when space is suddenly made in life for new things to arrive… and I wonder about actually applying for this absurd grant and mentor ship program…
I think I might just do it….
Actually…
Post-a-day 2018
I am strong as a person, and I know it – I can take care of somebody else, easily.
That’s why one of the most appealing things to me in a partner is someone who will take care of me…, because I sometimes just want to take a break from taking care of everyone else – of anyone, actually – and have someone do it for me, instead of the other way around.
But I feel as though I am failing as a friend, if I ask that of a friend… it’s only acceptable, it seems, with a partner in life…, but maybe that’s just because the best kind of friends aren’t really in my everyday life right now, and so I can’t even imagine it being acceptable behavior, their taking care of me for once.
And then this reminds me of something from today.
I stopped in on an old co-worker’s class today while I was subbing, and the prayer she read to begin class was about reaching out to those who seem upset or alone, because, how does one know that that person has friends to cheer him up?… I might be the only one who’s even considered cheering the person up, it said… perhaps the person feels just as lonely as I do, and just no one has ever taken the time to see, it read…
And I cried during the prayer, because I felt like that person who feels so alone, but who no one would consider might ever feel like she’s all on her own and alone, with no one even to check on how she’s really doing, and not just how she might look from the outside…
Post-a-day 2018
It feels as though an absence of music in my life is a sign of an absence of delight.
When there is so much happening, that I do not take the time for music – either listening or playing – it usually results that I am stressed and haggard and, quite likely, too, sick.
No surprise that I haven’t had any music lately, and I haven’t played guitar or ukulele in a while…., and no surprise that I’ve been stuck with an icky cold for over a week and a half…, because I’ve been so stressed and strained with various topics in my life, I haven’t taken the time to take care of myself.
I haven’t taken the time to have music, one of the deepest joys of my heart.
Perhaps, if I had music for myself every day, I might never get sick… there’s likely some study about that anyway, where music makes the body healthier (not to mention improved brain function on the whole).
Well, I’ve been doing what I consider to be a very good job, as of late, feeding myself and preparing food for myself…. now to add music in there every day.
I wonder if I can really do it… can I see myself as really being worth that effort and time?? (I’m still only halfway there with the good food preparation mentality…)
But I think it is a good time to give it a go, so I’ll go for it… music every day… for myself…, because I not only need but deserve it.
Okay.
…Crazy how this scares me somehow…
Post-a-day 2018
Well, naturally, I am sick from stress, yet again.
My throat feels a fire burning fervently within.
Menstruation has been timely to increase my need for sleep.
And I’ve loads to do; so, please, let’s pray that I keep… up.
Post-a-day 2018
Being a librarian (in a great library with great people) feels good… and I’ve been wondering about it more and more recently, the idea of possibly being a librarian…. now I get to do a sort of trial run…., and I like it… and I want more of it… I think…
(I think this is how we want money-earning to feel in life…)
Post-a-day 2018
Sometimes, the best things come out of signing up to do something wonderful that you are terrified to do… so, I’m looking forward to the morning of October 7th, with both nerves and extreme delight.
Post-a-day 2018
A step count isn’t only good when it’s a really high number…
You see, I not only took 25,000 steps (FitBit on the ankle to track them) today, but – and these are likely a bigger deal than those 25,000 – I took two big steps for myself and my life.
And it is way late at night right now for me just to have gotten home, but it has been a good day… a very good day. 🙂
And I am grateful dafür.
Post-a-day 2018
I received some delightful news today, but I wasn’t jumping for joy at learning it.
However, I have, since learning about that, been giddily delighted about something else entirely…
I think that the news today gave my whole being such a sense of relief that I suddenly was able to enjoy fully the something else I’ve been pondering lately (but hadn’t really been able to enjoy yet).
Funny how that happens. 🙂
Post-a-day 2018
I have so much to say, so much to share, and yet I continue not to take the time to share it…, because despite my belief that it is valuable to share it all, a part of me, I believe, fears that it is not worth sharing at all…
Post-a-day 2018
It only takes a trip to somewhere worse to appreciate coming home to a place one was initially glad to leave.
I’ve been doing that a lot recently, but switching between going to somewhere worse and to somewhere better, constantly flipping my perspective back and forth (and, ultimately, leaving me moving in no real direction at all most of the time).
Post-a-day 2018
hannah ananas 