Tag: goals

Trusting

Today, I trusted my feelings, how my body and energy responded, and it was spectacular. Yes, I turned down an amazing opportunity – sailing – and opted to go to school, and get some work done. I didn’t leave until after eight pm to come home, and I had arrived to school around noon-thirty or so. But I got a tremendous amount accomplished, and it feels so freeing right now, I can hardly grasp it fully. I finished everything I had to do and wanted to do this weekend for school, and then some. I also accomplished several things I had hoped to do this past week, but hadn’t managed.

See, I had intended to go in on Monday to get some work done. But, as soon as I trusted my feeling that I didn’t want to do the sailing today, and communicated that, the easing of that allowed me to ask myself what I would like to do today. And the almost immediate response was: Go to school. So, after getting some nourishment for later and some gasoline, I headed there. My morning had been wonderful, spent with my dad (thanks to the last-minute removal of my part-time job’s shift to a coworker when I offered it last night), though even that was spontaneous when I was first considering what to do with my morning that I had free before the afternoon sailing. So, my dad and I walked and talked, and then ate and talked, and then stood around and talked some more. It was great.

I was fully ready to take on the schoolwork after that, and with joy and delight. I thoroughly enjoyed going in and getting things done… which has me thinking that I must really, truly love this work. What person loves going to work on a Saturday, loves grading nearly a hundred tests, loves creating documents and lesson plans, and loves doing it all for over seven hours on that Saturday, not getting home until close to nine pm?

And then still considers – and with delight – going back to get more done on Monday, just to stay ahead?

I am trusting that God and the Universe are helping me to see things newly in my life, and that they are preparing me for the wonderful opportunities that will continue to arise. I am trusting that my odd foot and leg pain was intentional, and that I needed not to attend the gym workouts this week, that I needed to ask for help from others, and that I needed to take a few tiny but real stands for myself.

I am trusting that I am exactly where I need to be, and that this buzzing of a feeling is exactly what it feels to be: a positive change approaching – a beautiful and powerful transformation of circumstance.

I am finally trusting.

Post-a-day 2021

Prayer

Dear God and Universe, I am worried about him. Please, please, help him to breathe and to heal from the struggles and pains that he has been facing and that have so suddenly expanded in his life. Please, please, help him to persevere, to accept and to experience love for him as his true self, and to step forward beautifully and powerfully into this wonderful life that awaits him with immense love. May we bring positive prayers and love to the space around us all, such that the vibrations of that energy reach all the way to him, this one presently in such need. May our love continue to reproduce and expand throughout the world and all worlds.

In love and gratitude, we pray.

Amen.

Post-a-day 2021

Being brave is scary

Why does it bother me so much? Because it shows how inconsistent it is with the direction and intention of my life. And that’s a good thing. Now, my time and attention has the opportunity to be directed intentionally to have a more powerful difference in my life and world, rather than being wasted elsewhere.

But first, I must be brave and speak up.

Post-a-day 2021

Sunday nights

Why do I almost always struggle to get to bed at a decent hour on Sunday nights? I fiddle around all day Sunday, exhausted, and then end up taking forever on something just before bed, getting me off to a dreadful start to the school week. Add to it my buttock and ankle pains on the right side, as well as a full day of classes, including an observation, and we have ourselves a recipe for an extremely tiring and uncomfortable Monday.

Ugh.

God, help me rest well, please.

Post-a-day 2021

Reaping the spoils

There was a dance tonight. I chaperoned for it. I had a wonderful time. I got to be social yet not, dance around yet not, be chill, walk around, mingle, walk away from people, people watch, and enjoy the world around me.

And my students often were excited to see and greet me, which was wonderful, too.

It was lovely.

And then, at the end, I got to take home some flowers. That was baller, too. Oh, and a couple t-shirts for the school. Boom. Great night.

Of course, it is not well past 1:00am, and I’m only just about to get to fall asleep…, but, I believe, it was worth it.

Thank you, God and Universe for this opportunity and blessing.

Gratitude here

Post-a-day 2021

Yikes

Why must I be so volatile and cyclothymiac, even bipolar, when it comes to my work and to my self-image and, even, to men?

It’s getting to be a tad old school, and I’m quite tired of it, already.

Ugh…

God and Universe, please, help me to ease these extremes in my life, that I be able to create abundant love and joy through my being and doing in this life, sharing your love and joy as we create it together.

Amen.

P.S. I told a kid today how he was truly wonderful in the musical last weekend. I don’t know the kid – I just recognized him the other day in passing, and intended to tel him about the show, whenever I saw him again. I saw him this morning, possibly as I was handing out breakfast tacos to everyone, and told him then, surrounded by hungry teenagers awaiting their treats. I’m almost certain it made his day, considering the immense grin that resulted, along with his verbal thanks. When I saw him again tonight at a football game, a similar smile produced, with a touch of secret that, I realized, was with me – his gratitude extended even then, and seems likely to last. I am grateful that I was given the opportunity to do such a thing for another, and that I seized the opportunity well. Thank you, all.

Post-a-day 2021

Notebooks are the only ones who care?

It occurred to me this week that I most likely tend to take over conversations, constantly sharing about myself, because I feel those are the only times someone will listen…, Because I feel unheard in life… I feel no one is interested at any other time.

If I had someone who were interested, perhaps it would be easier not to take over conversations…

Just a thought.

Post-a-day 2021

Goals by Christmas

Have a beautiful, humble, honest, loving man to love me and hold me and comfort me.

Speak Italian effectively in my thoughts (in my head and aloud) and in at least one actual conversational interaction with a native speaker.

Be financially comfortable and confident.

Go on a long run at least once, and embrace the air.

Be ridiculous loads, having fun while at play with the world around me.

Teach people wonderful things.

Love people openly.

Be open with people with my words.

Love myself wholly.

Sing and play much music.

Including some good Christmas music.

Sleep well and effectively at night.

Drink lots of tisanes and some teas.

Embrace my beauty as a goddess embodied in this human life.

Release freely what does not serve me at large and at small.

Learn some Python basics.

Increase my splits and kick height/ease.

Post-a-day 2021

Take a breath…

… exhale… then go for it. Sometimes, we just have to be brave and ask. We might be wrong, but that’s okay. Better to be wrong and know it already, so we can proceed forward, than continue stressing and wondering, and then, possibly, missing out.

Because there’s always that chance that we might be right…

Either way, it only gets better if we take on the bravery and just ask.

Be brave. 😉

Post-a-day 2021

Trust

I trust that God and the Universe are acting in my best interest, helping me to be my best and highest self. As annoying as that may sometimes be, I still trust them. And I am grateful for their support and guidance.

He said he envied her height. She said that, if he had been taller she would have married him. But then, she wouldn’t have married the man she did marry, and had the children she had. And he wouldn’t have become a priest, and made the difference in the world that he has made in that role.

Thinking on this, it occurred to me that, though I may envy someone something or be jealous of someone for something, I need only remember that my not having that something is actually helping me to do what I am here to do, the make the difference I am here to make. If I had what that other person has, she would not be able to do what she is here to do, and I would not be able to do what I am here to do.

And so, when the World dishes out something specific to me and something specifically envious to someone else, it is intentional. I have what I was given, because that is what will help me to do what I am here to do in this life, both now and in the future.

Even if I did really want that something else (or someone else), the lack of it will prove much more fertile and endeavour than having it would have proven.

Post-a-day 2021