Tag: self-expression

Hmm : /

It was one thing to see former students of mine growing up, being able to drink alcohol, getting jobs (that inevitably paid more than my own teaching salary at any given time). But seeing them engaged and marrying and having babies is just rough on the gut. And the marrying is one thing that’s already a bit rough. But something about the babies part just makes it hurt on the inside, and kind of a lot.

I know it isn’t about doing things in a set order nor about doing them at any set time in life. I know we all have different paths and lives to follow and to lead. I know all that. Somehow, though, that doesn’t make it not hurt right now…

And I guess that’s okay, just to let it hurt for a little while. It only means that I have something that’s really important to me on my life and to which I very much look forward with love and delight… and that I will have immense gratitude whenever I do reach those points in my life and my journey here.

So, for right now, it just kind of hurts.

Post-a-day 2023

Sleep, please

Getting things done, but being a night owl doesn’t help improve my sleep schedule when I have things to do. Lots needs to happen … correction: There are lots of things I want to happen before Sunday, for the party (that may or may not happen, depending on the weather). I’m thinking they won’t be done to the desired degree. However, I think I’m okay with that. I just want to have a nice time in celebration of this life I am blessed to live. However, given that certain people likely to attend will not be easy peasy about a house that doesn’t seem to be put together seemingly perfectly, I now find myself aiming to get some bigger things done. Yes, the bedroom will be in no better shape than it is right now, laundry to be done or folded or sorted into where it will be stored for real and all… and there might even be some more in here, too. Plus, we likely still won’t have a functioning sink in our bathroom, which doesn’t make things any easier. However, my man and I both have loads we want to get done that is outside the bedroom and that will be seen.

What all will we get done and how? Dunno. But we shall see.

Post-a-day 2023

Towels

For some unknown reason, Costco doesn’t carry the amazing towels they have carried for years anymore. The replacements don’t look promising in person. I think they also cost more… by about 38%. I shall check again when I go to the store at the end of the week (to get final stuff for my birthday party that is happening this Sunday) and confirm this price difference. I then likely will purchase one more set of the amazing towels from online (only a dollar and a penny in shipping cost). I haven’t yet decided what to do about the new ones – do I try a pair and return if we don’t love them??

We shall see. First step is the pricing. Check that, then proceed with next evaluation of what to do.

Can you even imagine someone not finding this situation to be ‘a situation’? This is a big deal. How could someone not see this as a big deal?? Having good towels is extremely important in life. A bad towel just makes for a bad day (or night, depending on when one showers), I’m telling you. 😛

Post-a-day 2023

Rodeo Closing

Tonight, we said goodbye to RodeoHouston until next year. We hung in the wine garden, meandered and looked at school art in Center, hung in a couple clubs to have drinks and watch the rodeo, went into the Stadium to watch more of the rodeo and then Luke Bryan’s concert – including his current dad-bod – in great seats, ate some grilled meats and a funnel cake using our discounted food cards, had drinks and danced in one of the clubs, and then wandered around in the crisp and cool air after they closed down the club and kicked out everyone – and I still managed to be gifted a couple extra drink tickets that I never got to use, which was exciting!

My man danced with me – real dancing – and it was spectacular. It was spectacular.

He also danced with my friend who was with us. And he danced with this other lady. Her friend came up and asked us if she could borrow my man, not for herself but for her friend, just for one song. I told him it was a polka, and he then accepted the request – he could do polka decently enough for the task. I told the lady it was a polka and that it was just triple steps the whole time. They succeeded in dancing together. While they danced, the original lady who’d made the request explained to us that her friend had wanted to dance at least once. However, she was worried about guys grinding on her and humping her. So, her friend had said they just need to get a respectable guy. ‘He looks like a respectable guy and like he knows what he’s doing out here,’ she said about my man. ‘As long as she doesn’t get her ass smacked and tits grabbed, she’s good,’ she said about her friend. Fair enough, ma’am. Fair enough. 😛

Anyway, so, we had a great night. We used the rest of our drink tickets. We used a couple extra drink tickets that were given to us. We got to have a small adventure, the three of us (and my mom and stepdad earlier in the day, until we went into the stadium – they’d stayed in the club to watch the whole rodeo before going home). And it was really great.

Thank you, God. Thank you. Please, continue to keep us safe. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Time

It is time to start being who I am here to be, who I have worked so hard these past years to become. I have been afraid recently. I have doubted both myself and God. Life had become inexplicably difficult and stressful, despite pursuing and fulfilling hopes and dreams and wishes and prayers… it wasn’t lining up.

But I had grown afraid and begun to doubt my god and my self. It always grows incredibly difficult when either of those happens, and I’ve had both sets of doubt lately.

So, I grant myself permission to let it all go and to ask God to take it all from me and for me.

Dear God, here you go: have it all. I have been so afraid lately, and have trusted you only in part. Help me to trust you fully as I hand this all over to you. My life is yours. I am somewhat terrified, and I still trust that you love me and will provide for my being my best self. If the answer to my prayer is not a, “Yes,” I know it is because you have something better coming. I give this all to you now. Keep it, please. Your will be done. And help me to do it, please. Keep us safe and loved and loving throughout it all, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Date Night

Date night went well. Crazy traffic for both of us to get to the rodeo. I was way late to get to the sign-ups, and he was way late to show up for the actual thing, but we both made it onto the last fire truck for the Grand Entry, he with only two minutes to spare before we drove off, and it was awesome. He had never been in the Grand Entry before, and the final fire truck gets the whole head of the horseback folks following it out of the stadium. So, it was like we were seeing the big entrance setup as we were leaving the stadium, flags and fancy and all, up close and personal. It was great.

Then, we chatted with some folks before going to sit to watch some of the rodeo events up close (as close as you can for that). He, not realizing that the line doubled back on itself, wanted us to take the escalator, which we never do. As we were on the final portion of that line, we cross paths with his mom and her husband. So, we stepped aside to wait for them, and then chatted with them on the escalator a bit. Then they continued to the next escalator for their club level tickets, and we went down into our seats.

He had been worried about meeting up with them at the rodeo tonight, because he didn’t know how to end the time with them in order to continue our date night. However, this way made it simple and easy, and they were the ones who ditched us, anyway(!). Ha! It’s always silly and wonderful when things just work out like that.

Then, when we didn’t have seats anymore, and a lady had been kind of nasty to my man for being in her seat – remember that volunteers are allowed to sit in any open seats until the ticket-holder arrives to the seats – so we opted to walk over to the club we both like to watch the concert.

On the way, we passed a cinnamon roll stand that was closing up shop. There are two massive cinnamon rolls just sitting there. So, I told my man to ask about them. The owner of the stall told us to take them, as they were the last and leftovers. He told us to heat them up, and they’d be ‘real good’.

My man couldn’t wait, though. When there wasn’t a microwave at our headquarters nearby, he slowly downed his roll. I asked when we got up to the club, and then patiently waited. After about ten minutes, the door volunteer came and snatched up my cinnamon roll paper boat. She brought it back a minute later, nice and hot.

I shared it with my man. 🙂 (I offered some to the lady first, and she declined with gratitude.) We both enjoyed it very much.

And then we enjoyed the concert. Kenny Chesney performs happy – he was in a great mood, and it was fun and infectious. And his voice sounds great. He also looks great. It was awesome, and I am grateful we had the lovely night together.

We both got home safely, and I just now sleep. Much to do in the morning to prep for a friend of mine to stay with us tomorrow night. That whole use-the-guest-room-for-storage idea that started when we cleared out my apartment recently has been backfiring this week. Got a lot to deal with in a hurry. I’ve accomplished much already, but there’s plenty more to go, in addition to sorting out all the changes and tidying in the rest of the house, and having to leave by noon-thirty for my afternoon shift… whoof! That’s a lot to manage! But I can do it. My man had the morning shift, so I’m hoping he’ll be able to get our sink installed before my friend arrives (like before me) tomorrow night. I have faith in him. ❤

Thank you, God. Amen.

P.S. I love grilled cheese sandwiches, too, Mr. Chesney. I love them, too. Mmmmm…

Post-a-day 2023

Late nights

Why must so struggle so much to go home and go to bed whenever I know he’ll not be here with me? If I know he’ll be getting home and going to bed well after midnight, rather than just going to be early, I almost always end up, without really meaning to do so, staying up myself until about five or ten minutes before he gets home.

What’s with that?

Here I am still up tonight, despite being so exhausted that I am falling asleep sitting upright and with no back rest while I type this. He doesn’t finish his rodeo shift until 7am. He won’t be here during the night… and yet I’m still up… Ugh.

Going to sleep now, though. Goodnight.

God, please, keep him safe and well. Thank you for this life. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

A Good Friday

I have a very full day tomorrow. However, it is all stuff that is really good for me, in some way or other, and can produce very positive results. I have the workout at the gym at 7:30am – boy, do I want to sleep in instead(!), especially looking at what the workout is. Then shower and change at home to be ready at the gun range at 11am, so I can test out shooting a bunch of 9mm pistols (that TERRify me, mind you) and see if there is one we can find that doesn’t make me ball upon use. Then I’m rushing to a birthday party, where I’m hoping to be in time to take a professional level photo with my man (while he’s on his way to another rodeo shift, which is where he already is right now until 1am…), and then enjoy hanging out and meeting the other people at the party for this meet friend of mine. Then I’m going to the rodeo 1)to check up on my man and see if he needs or wants anything special for his shift, and also 2)to deliver and gift some hats to some of the police officers who work with us all at the rodeo and who make all the difference.*

Then, I guess, I can go home.

However, our committee has a club crawl happening from mid-afternoon into the evening and night…, so I might attend that or just part of that, after I deliver the hats, of course.

Then I can go home.

Now, a couple comments about today. 1)A security guy asked me how I was doing, when he was checking my bag at the rodeo. I answered that I was okay and ‘kinda hot and [something I can’t recall right now; ugh!]’. He, quite casually and calmly replied, ‘Well, that makes sense – I do believe you are rather attractive.’ Not even joking. I laughed, and told him it was a very good response, and I thanked him, too, I believe, before I walked away.

Now, I must sleep. Goodnight.

*I was talking with a couple of said officers today. The women, I noticed, had two sets of handcuffs on the back of her belt. The man, I then checked, only had one set of cuffs. What gives? So, I asked them why she had two and he only had one. Their response? A short pause, and then, “She works in the courts, and I work with corpses.”

I kid you not – he said that. And he meant it, too. Apparently, he does crime scenes for the main part of his job. And she said that, in her role, she genuinely uses handcuffs every day, and, even, multiple times a day.

Can you even imagine?(?????)(!!)

Post-a-day 2023

Steak Night

Tonight was steak night for my man’s other rodeo committee. We had a great time. And the steak and the rest of the food truly was awesome.

Tonight was, apparently, also the ‘run into everybody by odd coincidence’ night. I just happened today see an old buddy getting out of his car as I walked up to the committee tent. He had no association with the committee until just this year, so I was surprised to see him. But I was not surprised to see him, because his mom had just posted on Facebook about how he was doing so much with the rodeo this year, and I had wondered just today what she’d meant by that. So, I got to ask him and found out.

The people who eventually sat with us at our table and stayed – others came and ate and left, that buddy and his girlfriend included, but they came back way later – not only were tied to girls form my high school, but my mom had run into one of those girls last weekend at something else entirely. I was able to tell them something their niece had done that they hadn’t been yet known. (Good, not bad stuff.) And then, come to find out, these people live down the street from and know reasonably well my sister… and her husband.

Now, my sister’s husband does this po’dunk country growling kind of mumbling yell whenever he’s fussing at the kids or at the baseball boys or, well, yelling in general at times. Somehow, within fifteen seconds of their learning who my sister was, both of the men, who are brothers, and my man are all standing over the table in a sort of crouch, imitating very effectively this growling-mumbling-yell that my sister’s husband does. And, frankly, it was hilarious. 😛

Anyway, now I must sleep. Early rodeo shift for me tomorrow morning. Goodnight!

Post-a-day 2023