Why do I almost always struggle to get to bed at a decent hour on Sunday nights? I fiddle around all day Sunday, exhausted, and then end up taking forever on something just before bed, getting me off to a dreadful start to the school week. Add to it my buttock and ankle pains on the right side, as well as a full day of classes, including an observation, and we have ourselves a recipe for an extremely tiring and uncomfortable Monday.
Ugh.
God, help me rest well, please.
Post-a-day 2021
There was a dance tonight. I chaperoned for it. I had a wonderful time. I got to be social yet not, dance around yet not, be chill, walk around, mingle, walk away from people, people watch, and enjoy the world around me.
And my students often were excited to see and greet me, which was wonderful, too.
It was lovely.
And then, at the end, I got to take home some flowers. That was baller, too. Oh, and a couple t-shirts for the school. Boom. Great night.
Of course, it is not well past 1:00am, and I’m only just about to get to fall asleep…, but, I believe, it was worth it.
Thank you, God and Universe for this opportunity and blessing.
Gratitude here
Post-a-day 2021
Why must I be so volatile and cyclothymiac, even bipolar, when it comes to my work and to my self-image and, even, to men?
It’s getting to be a tad old school, and I’m quite tired of it, already.
Ugh…
God and Universe, please, help me to ease these extremes in my life, that I be able to create abundant love and joy through my being and doing in this life, sharing your love and joy as we create it together.
Amen.
P.S. I told a kid today how he was truly wonderful in the musical last weekend. I don’t know the kid – I just recognized him the other day in passing, and intended to tel him about the show, whenever I saw him again. I saw him this morning, possibly as I was handing out breakfast tacos to everyone, and told him then, surrounded by hungry teenagers awaiting their treats. I’m almost certain it made his day, considering the immense grin that resulted, along with his verbal thanks. When I saw him again tonight at a football game, a similar smile produced, with a touch of secret that, I realized, was with me – his gratitude extended even then, and seems likely to last. I am grateful that I was given the opportunity to do such a thing for another, and that I seized the opportunity well. Thank you, all.
Post-a-day 2021
It occurred to me this week that I most likely tend to take over conversations, constantly sharing about myself, because I feel those are the only times someone will listen…, Because I feel unheard in life… I feel no one is interested at any other time.
If I had someone who were interested, perhaps it would be easier not to take over conversations…
Just a thought.
Post-a-day 2021
Have a beautiful, humble, honest, loving man to love me and hold me and comfort me.
Speak Italian effectively in my thoughts (in my head and aloud) and in at least one actual conversational interaction with a native speaker.
Be financially comfortable and confident.
Go on a long run at least once, and embrace the air.
Be ridiculous loads, having fun while at play with the world around me.
Teach people wonderful things.
Love people openly.
Be open with people with my words.
Love myself wholly.
Sing and play much music.
Including some good Christmas music.
Sleep well and effectively at night.
Drink lots of tisanes and some teas.
Embrace my beauty as a goddess embodied in this human life.
Release freely what does not serve me at large and at small.
Learn some Python basics.
Increase my splits and kick height/ease.
Post-a-day 2021
… exhale… then go for it. Sometimes, we just have to be brave and ask. We might be wrong, but that’s okay. Better to be wrong and know it already, so we can proceed forward, than continue stressing and wondering, and then, possibly, missing out.
Because there’s always that chance that we might be right…
Either way, it only gets better if we take on the bravery and just ask.
Be brave. 😉
Post-a-day 2021
I trust that God and the Universe are acting in my best interest, helping me to be my best and highest self. As annoying as that may sometimes be, I still trust them. And I am grateful for their support and guidance.
He said he envied her height. She said that, if he had been taller she would have married him. But then, she wouldn’t have married the man she did marry, and had the children she had. And he wouldn’t have become a priest, and made the difference in the world that he has made in that role.
Thinking on this, it occurred to me that, though I may envy someone something or be jealous of someone for something, I need only remember that my not having that something is actually helping me to do what I am here to do, the make the difference I am here to make. If I had what that other person has, she would not be able to do what she is here to do, and I would not be able to do what I am here to do.
And so, when the World dishes out something specific to me and something specifically envious to someone else, it is intentional. I have what I was given, because that is what will help me to do what I am here to do in this life, both now and in the future.
Even if I did really want that something else (or someone else), the lack of it will prove much more fertile and endeavour than having it would have proven.
Post-a-day 2021
Why am I so stressed? Because I care.
May we remember that whenever we begin to feel overwhelmed with stress. In a way, feeling stress is positive, because it shows us that we care so much and can love so much.
Post-a-day 2021
I don’t know what this lesson is, but it’s starting to make me sick with stress from it. It felt like I had been exactly where I needed to be today and this evening and tonight. So, why did someone have to hit the car as I drive home? And why did he have to drive off, as though he hadn’t just rammed his car into this one?
What’s more, why did he have to be a clear stereotype expressed in reality?
I don’t know what to do about it all, but I’m getting really sick of having a new car. Sure, it reliably gets me places. However, it also has cost me more in repairs than the old little blue car ever did. Plus, I’m paying literally thousands more for this one. All just to get ridiculously stressed out every handful of days.
But it does get me places reliably. And maybe that’s the point, somehow.
Somehow…
Things got messed up with school, and they didn’t pay me. Naturally, this happened just after my having to pay this lump sum of nonsense for the windshield repair BS the car dealership put me through. So, that all likely will be rolling into my credit tomorrow morning… they, of course, are providing me with a physical check to replace the digital error… tomorrow morning.
And then this tonight, just as that was potentially about to be solved.
God and Universe, please help me to read whatever this language is, because I’m not getting the message properly yet – I need help.
Post-a-day 2021
I can actually quite well argue any side of a matter. I’ve known that about myself for a long time now. The use of this skill today, however, surprised me a bit. I was not in agreement about something, and had spoken up about it in private, but had not yet received a response. I did not want to undermine what this person had done, so, when a student came to me, upset in just the same way I was (but worse, because he was receiving the brunt of the blow), I had to hold my tongue a moment and reconsider. What stands before me here? Imagining nothing outside of this room will change, how can I encourage and empower this student here and now and going forward, and without laying anger or blame or frustrations elsewhere?
And then I did just that. I saw a beauty to this new perspective I was offering to him, and was completely impressed by and enrolled in the idea myself.
And no, I wasn’t BS-ing anything here. I was approaching it genuinely.
Which has me wonder if it wouldn’t be a beautiful practice to reevaluate situations and opinions more often in my daily life. Because I never would have found such a deep, powerful perspective had I not been presented with the sudden need to help this student while not disregarding the right of the other person in the situation.
So, I think I’ll be looking into that going forward…
P.S. The kid, I now know, as I’ve had a response to my earlier e-mail, very likely will not be having to serve the punishment he was assigned. It likely only will apply to those for whom it was truly applicable (Aka almost all the other students from that class), after a few further discussions with certain students to confirm.
Post-a-day 2021
hannah ananas 