Brain stuff

Do you ever get to the end of a day, just before bed, and go to think back on how the day went and all, but you can’t recall what you actually did that day? Sure, you remember the most recent stuff. But the whole first half is definitely a total blank, as well as half of the later stuff.

This seems to happen to me often. As with all the other times, I have to go in reverse for my day – start with the most recent thing, and move backwards from there. Then, eventually, I get to how it all started. But, boy, does it feel silly! And it takes actual focus on remembering things step-by-step in reverse. I can’t just ask my brain, “Hey, what did we do today?” It has no clue. It tells me to do the filing work and figure it all out…

Of course, now I can remember what I did today – it was a lot and it was great. But it took real effort just now to get there, and I still don’t have all of it (I know this, because little pieces still keep popping up into my mind, and I realize that I’d left that out so far…). Nuts, right??

Anyway, that’s how my brain works. That’s why I like having social media as my personal photo album – the photos remind me of the awesome things I’ve done and places I’ve been. Nuts, but that’s how it is, you know?

Post-a-day 2022

I want to ride my bicycle

I want to ride my biiiike.

The ride was a success this morning, despite my bike’s falling (I stayed on my feet, through the fall, though), my mom not even noticing and thereby leaving us behind for 2/3 of the first half, my man fooling around with tricks and other stress-inducing and higher-risk activities rather constantly, and the path being terribly marked (only mile markers 1-5, 12, and 13 were up… marking the kilometers…, and there was almost no signage at all on the way back, leaving loads of people to have to double back and find the way on sorts that varied from the way out…, and the police crossing-guards all disappeared, too). Also, it was cold almost the entire time(!!!). That was a surprise. I purposely didn’t bring the extra layers beyond a long-sleeve and a short rain jacket this time because of the forecasted temperature elevation shortly after we were starting the ride. But it worked out okay by the end, with a little bit of sun shining beautifully for the after-party.

Of course, I had to rush to an outdoor training thing up north afterward, and we ended up standing in the shade for hours, despite the whole rest of the place being in blazing sunlight (which is why I’d left all seaters and jackets in the car, yet again). So, I never fully warmed up all day. And that’s probably why I just took an absurdly hot and long shower… it was over 82° in the bathroom when I finished showering, and it felt great. (Remember that I typically prefer cooler temperatures. I just also want to be dressed appropriately for those temperatures, and I wasn’t today.)

Anyway, good day, all in all. I love my man. I love God. I love my mom. I love my life. I love today. Thank you, God. Amen.

P.S. He swears he’s watching the baseball game right now…, but that absurdly loud snoring coming from the curled up man on the sofa begs to differ. 😂

P.P.S. I woke him up for the ninth inning, because I knew he’d want to witness that live. Certainly glad I did! Congratulations, gentlemen. Well played.

Post-a-day 2022

Distractions? Oder Directions?

*oder – (German) or

These beautiful and wonderful things keep coming up. I am grateful for each and every one of them. However, they have rather kept me from pursuing the main goal I had to pursue, now that my teaching position has ended: coding. I had set myself up for this path toward coding, and the main resource has been delayed, and I haven’t reached out yet to the secondary resource, because I’ve been so busy managing the tutoring that’s come up, along with the part-time job work and the other part-time job work and the tidying and catching up on things at home…

Have these things been coming up because they are distractions, requiring me to prove my dedication and desire to pursue this goal of coding right now? Or are they actually directions from God and the Universe, answering my prayers for clear guidance, showing me that diving fully into the coding is not what they need me to do right now?

God, help me to follow your will fully. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Not-so cool

Last night, we went to a Halloween party. There was much alcohol drinking and some cigarette smoking. Music was not very loud, but people were somewhat loud. The space wast crowded, except in narrower passageways on occasion.

I had a decent time. I’m glad we went, as it was an important event for my man’s family. We also both looked awesome, both in terms of outfits and in terms of fitness and overall adorable-ness.

However, I typically prefer staying home over going to such events. I felt so fancy, going to a party and on a Saturday night… like all the normal people, I passively thought.

Coincidentally, the story I did in Duolingo tonight was all about how these two girls stayed home every Friday evening and watched their favorite television show, instead of ever going out anymore. When their flatmate walks out in a party dress and says she’s going out dancing, they decide to go with her. The one who declared they were going with her finds at the club that it is too dark, the music is too loud, it is too crowded, and her feet start hurting rather quickly into the night.

As I read the story, I couldn’t help but notice that, aside from the feet part, I usually experience the same things whenever I have to go out to things. Though, as in her case, no one else ever seems to care.

What was funny with the story itself was that, as this girl is commenting on these things, and declares that she wants to go home already, she asks, ‘Am I the only one who isn’t cool anymore?’, for they had said earlier that the cool thing to do was to go out on Friday nights. Her friend replies, ‘Don’t worry – you weren’t ever cool in the first place.’

And, somehow, I found immense delight in that statement. Perhaps it reminded me of me and my best friend, and how we always are honest with things, and how we find it comical when our honesty, to an outsider, could sound terribly mean, but that it is very much not a big deal to us. Also, though, she and I never really were considered “cool”, anyway. We were fun and smart and goofy and weird and kind and sweet and reliable and all sorts of good stuff. People got along with us rather easily, and enjoyed our presence, of course. But we just weren’t exactly ever cool. She was even student body president in high school. She got closer than I did to cool, but she still wasn’t cool. So, we would have definitely had a conversation like the one in this Duolingo story tonight, my best friend and I. And that was a good feeling.

Anyway, I absolutely could relate to the story in all levels, and I loved that ending to the story, somehow, in a very personal way. It was awesome. Thank you, God. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

The body speaks…

… but do we listen?

When the body stops working for you, what do you do? What can you do?

I truly believe it is a demanded chance for us to rest, not to push ourselves so hard as we have been lately, so hard as what made the body want so desperately to take a break (almost literally). If we don’t rest, it is all too likely to grow even worse, if not now, then soon enough.

Our bodies are speaking to us always, and not merely about what’s going on on the outside in life…

Post-a-day 2022

Ugh

Went to chiropractor this morning. Went to gym at noon for the workout. During the second round of goblet squats – I had only ten pounds, because I’m taking it extremely light with weight compared to the recommended – I had a sharp pain on the side of my left thigh, in slow-mo fast-time set down/half dropped the weights between my legs, and then fell over to the right. I cried. Only a little, but I cried. It’s kind of terrifying when something that normally works easily suddenly gives out, when the body is suddenly unreliable to do the basics of keeping us upright. Suffice it to say that I left the rest of the goblet squats alone, and moved on. Now, I’m lying in bed with medium-high pain – and, I think, swelling – on the right side of my back… Goodness, help me, please.

I really need to be careful right now. My body made it clear to me that it wants a rest from these work-outs right now. I’m hoping I can still be active in other ways – the long-boarding was mostly great physically, so I know there are things I certainly can do – while my body gets the rest it needs from the intense workouts. Perhaps this is a means of getting me to go do all those things we’ve been wanting to go do, but never manage. Like the long-boarding. And golf. And bicycle riding. And, maybe, even frisbee.

Thank you, God, for this opportunity. Please, help us to see clearly what is truly awaiting us in this opportunity. Show us your will. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Bellyaches

For a few days now, I have had a sort of indigestion. I feel fine for a long while, and then a wave of ache and discomfort arrives, shaking my insides. I’ve had to rush to a bathroom more then once these past few days. How miserable it must be for people who have to live with something like this all the time… I am grateful this is only temporary. But I pray that it end tonight.

God, please heal this indigestion that is within me. Help me to pursue your will with my whole body functioning at its best. Please, heal all those in need of your healing tonight. In your name and with gratitude, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Okay!

Last day of teaching for this assignment has completed! Woohoo!

We had a family dinner out tonight in celebration of my completion of the assignment. Now, onward to whatever else is next! (Sure, I most certainly have some big plans in place, but there is always a nearly-surprising amount of wiggle room in there for things to go entirely differently than intended – I have learned my lesson on that very well by this point!)

Dear God, please, help me to have clarity with each step of this, and guide me to fulfill your will in all that I do. Help me to be my best self with all that I am. Thank you for this blessing of a life. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Staying up late

Tomorrow is the last day in my current teaching position. I don’t teach class until after 11:00, though. So, partly in celebration of my last day, I decided to go ahead and watch a movie, instead of going to bed when it was only around 7:30pm.

Yet, it is just after eleven now, and I am barely managing to write this as I lie in my bed, practically passing out… clearly, I need to work out a better sleep schedule again. This has been way too tough lately, and in many ways.

Post-a-day 2022