Month: May 2022

Packing and unpacking

As I pack for this beachside trip this weekend, I find myself having to unpack all sorts of stress. My clothes are an odd combination of styles, when it comes to the clothes that actually fit me properly, and I am struggling to build outfits that aren’t simply workout-type clothing or fall weather clothing. The cute bottoms I have have no cute tops to go with them – just an abundance of matching/complementary cute sport bras, which isn’t the same thing. It seems my mid-range of formal clothing never really got replenished with my new age and style and size these past few years, but I had still gotten rid of everything that didn’t bring me joy. And, given my lifestyle the past couple years, with even most of my work requiring a workout gear wardrobe (and my actual workouts, of course), I have little that fits beyond the workout gear, some formal dresses, and the few teaching outfits. Even my swimsuits don’t quite exist. I just have a couple old one-pieces – like from my mom from before I was born – and one modern one-piece that is actually a touch small on me. None of them fit quite the way one wants to dress on a beach vacation.

Anyway, so, I’m having to deal with various emotions and thoughts around myself and my life as I work on this packing… the should-haves and shoulda-dones in which I do not believe in believing have been strong today, reminding me of how I could have done things better, differently, etc…

I trust that I will work it all out tomorrow, but it is definitely a touch uncomfortable still now, having only begun to unpack the emotions and what lies behind them, as well as having only gotten first-round outfits put together (meaning that I don’t love them and am not super excited about them yet, so they need some work to reach that point tomorrow).

Dear God, please, help me to fulfill your will through being my best possible self and through loving fully those in my life, with your love. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Wait, weight

Two things here. Firstly, language, and secondly, looks.

Language: I find it important to be conscious of what language we use around everything in life. This includes body weight and fitness. So, I do not like to use the term ‘to lose weight’ or any form of it. Why? Because, like they say with hypnosis and all other subconscious-connected things, if we “lose something,” our brains will aim to “get it back.” So, if we say that we’ve lost weight, our brains subconsciously can be always on the lookout to find that lost weight. It may sound utterly ridiculous, but the ways in which our words can impact our thinking, our habits, and our lives is quite profound.

So, I say things like, “released,” “went down in,” “got rid of,” etc. weight or fat, or I just say that one “weighs less,” instead did that someone “lost weight.”

Now, that being said, I move to the second item on the agenda.

Looks: Have you ever seen or known someone who actually looks like he or she lost weight? Like it is actually missing from their bodies, and they look, somehow, incomplete without it? Like they need to fill out, and presently look shrunken and somewhat collapsed and odd in their own skin? Some people seem like they are actually made to be a bit thicker, tougher, more solid, and so they look odd – like they’re missing something – once they have lost their weight…, because it seems it really was lost somewhere and ought to be found.

Post-a-day 2022

Camping…

But I don’t like it.

I love outdoor activities – hiking, games, running and sports, swimming and stand-up paddle boarding to name a few. But I do not like camping. When I camp, I, it turns out, am not a happy camper…

And how do we proceed when two people who are important to one another do not love some of the things and activities where the other does actually cause the trouble?

Post-a-day 2022

Like a rock

I’m not a Chevy, but this new bed sure does make me sleep like a rock… boy, does it knock me out…

Thank you, God and Mom, for this bed! Bless with love all those who most need your mercy tonight, please. In your name, I pray. Amen!

P.S. Happy Cinco de Mayo!! Yay! Had margaritas and Tex-Mex for dinner with the family. Next alcohol might be in late July, at our family reunion…, but also maybe not… anyway, Handicorn came with us, and we all had a blast.

Post-a-day 2022

Puccini

Turandot is a spectacular spectacle – Puccini certainly got it right and did it well with this one, y’all. I almost cried twice, and then did cry near the end, all because of the music – it was so amazing. Robert Wilson’s visionary directing was spectacular in and of itself, yes. It was so fun and cool and amazing. But the music itself held its own… it was satisfying and utterly fulfilling… and, boy darn, was it good… Just wow…

Thank you, Houston Grand Opera, for this spectacular performance. And thank you, God, for allowing me to witness it… in gratitude, I pray. Amen!

P.S. One of the main characters suddenly had to step out (I believe it was today), and so another member of the cast played her physical role, while Juliet from the current production of Romeo and Juliet stood on the side of the stage with a music stand and in a black dress and sang the part. “Like no other,” the creative director said in his pre-show announcement, and it truly was. It was amazing on all accounts. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Amen!

Post-a-day 2022

Youch

And some days, you have an amazing day going with your friend and her baby to the beach, which is for the baby’s first-ever beach trip – by the way, she loved it! – , and the half-Mexican baby ends up totally fine with darker skin, and you and your girlfriend look like crawfish, just in time for the end of the season… Or, perhaps, I’m on my own on this one… 😛

Post-a-day 2022

Male-patterned baldness

I mean, sure, I have an absolute preference for a man with a full head of hair. However, in the grand scheme of things, it is merely a preference. Whether a man naturally has hair on his head or not does not come from a personal decision or certain morality or attitude toward life – it’s just how God made him. Why be mad at the way something was made? What is the benefit?

For example, I love strawberries. They are amazing. But they also make my body not feel its best, and eating them does not honor my body fully. So, I go without them most of the time. I don’t get mad at strawberries for causing stomach stress within my body. I don’t get mad at my body for not being able to process strawberries perfectly and easily. That’s just the way we both were made.

It was definitely an adjustment when I first learned that they were behind the discomfort I was having. But feeling amazing by not having them wins out, leaving me not minding so much that I don’t eat strawberries anymore.

Therefore, if a full head of male hair is not in my future partner’s future, then that’s okay. Because my future partner will be the person for me and I will be the person for him. Hair is merely an esthetic detail.

So, my Love, my Life, and my God, bring it on, please. They will be done. In your name, I pray. Amen. Hallelujah. Praise be.

Post-a-day 2022