Tag: exhausted

Moving on up

And so it is that the bedroom feels much more like a bedroom now. Not that it didn’t before feel like a bedroom, but that it now feels like a bedroom that could be my bedroom… one in which I actually could want to live and sleep and dress and all. No, it certainly isn’t complete, of course, but the bulky furniture is swapped out for things that fit much better and leave loads more space around the bed; the dark shag rug is gone; and the floors and baseboards have all been wonderfully cleaned. It is an awesome move for today, and I am incredibly grateful to have gotten it all done. Now, I am absurdly wiped and must sleep. Asap. Goodnight.

Post-a-day 2022

Ouch

Yup. Still sore. Though, it has been coming and going throughout the day today. I slept loads better last night (though that still wasn’t very good overall), and my arms were improving significantly yesterday evening and this morning. However, when we had to run errands with and for my grandma, and then drive three+ hours home, being so sedentary in the car made not only my arms more sore, but also my legs(!). And so, my arms and my legs hurt now, and so look ridiculous whenever I need to brush or floss my teeth, scratch my face, push some hair back, and all that jazz. Ugh…

Whatever…

Post-a-day 2022

Hurts

I can usually (and do) say what others either can not or will not say, when a situation is in need of it, of directness and clarity. But I regularly cannot figure out what to say to soothe people, a situation for which so many people do seem to be able to say what needs to be said… I am gifted with words, but not with soothing words. That’s for certain…

Post-a-day 2922

Packing and unpacking

As I pack for this beachside trip this weekend, I find myself having to unpack all sorts of stress. My clothes are an odd combination of styles, when it comes to the clothes that actually fit me properly, and I am struggling to build outfits that aren’t simply workout-type clothing or fall weather clothing. The cute bottoms I have have no cute tops to go with them – just an abundance of matching/complementary cute sport bras, which isn’t the same thing. It seems my mid-range of formal clothing never really got replenished with my new age and style and size these past few years, but I had still gotten rid of everything that didn’t bring me joy. And, given my lifestyle the past couple years, with even most of my work requiring a workout gear wardrobe (and my actual workouts, of course), I have little that fits beyond the workout gear, some formal dresses, and the few teaching outfits. Even my swimsuits don’t quite exist. I just have a couple old one-pieces – like from my mom from before I was born – and one modern one-piece that is actually a touch small on me. None of them fit quite the way one wants to dress on a beach vacation.

Anyway, so, I’m having to deal with various emotions and thoughts around myself and my life as I work on this packing… the should-haves and shoulda-dones in which I do not believe in believing have been strong today, reminding me of how I could have done things better, differently, etc…

I trust that I will work it all out tomorrow, but it is definitely a touch uncomfortable still now, having only begun to unpack the emotions and what lies behind them, as well as having only gotten first-round outfits put together (meaning that I don’t love them and am not super excited about them yet, so they need some work to reach that point tomorrow).

Dear God, please, help me to fulfill your will through being my best possible self and through loving fully those in my life, with your love. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022