Tag: emotions

Max

It looks like three hours is my max drive time for what I can consider ‘an easy trip’. Going back to Houston last night, then turning to come right back tonight was tough, especially with most of the driving being done at night, and a good chunk of it past my regular bedtime.

Anyway, I’m here now, alive and well. So, that’s good and I am grateful. However, I shall sleep hard core now.

Thank you for the safe travels . Please, bless me tonight and tomorrow that I might be your love. Amen.

Post-a-day 2021

Is it only Tuesday??

Alas, the saga continues (as does life, most of the time!). However, things are looking better already… in a way, anyway.

I have found and reserved a storage unit just down the road from where I currently have all of my belongings. I intend to return this weekend and pack up everything into boxes and such, then move it all into the storage unit on Monday, with a bit of rollover into Tuesday, Wednesday at the latest. I intend to stay elsewhere Tuesday night already. I hope my mom can help me pack and move bulky (but light) things. My aunt might also be able to help pack. We shall see after this weekend.

I have found, I believe, the right kind of hole to join for six weeks, starting on Tuesday. My gym partner has stepped up beautifully to support me with her spare bedroom in her home. We will talk tomorrow afternoon to get into details of it all.

Tomorrow morning, I must make it look like no one lives here. So, I’ll be managing shoving all of my food goods into my bedroom – ugh! But I am limited on time tomorrow, so I’ll be doing it super fast and then heading out the door. I have to go drop off something at the shop and then meet someone for lunch in the other direction at 11:30am. From there, I will be dropping off that friend on my way out of town, as I head back to be with my family for the rest of the week.

I have a major impulse to pack now. But that really doesn’t work. I need to go to bed, so I can get up and exercise in the morning, so I can get all the food stuff handled asap in the morning, then shower, then go run two errands, and then head off for lunch. (Yes, I had already forgotten about the second errand, I know. That’s why I have reminders pop up on my phone in the mornings!)

So, still loads and still not settled entirely, but I’m chugging through rather effectively so far. God, give me the strength and grace to keep it up and to continue to be your love in this life. Amen.

P.S. Happy Solstice on this shortest day of the year!

Post-a-day 2021

We have a…

23-19!!!! We have a 23-19!!!

But, golly, does it feel like we have such a panic sort of situation over here in my life today?

Ugh…

In short, we were approved this afternoon to move into the apartments we’ve been loving and wanting. After months of figuring things out, we finally have it sorted regarding where we get to live, my good friend and I.

Not even half an hour after that informative call to me, I was being informed by my current place that, surprise, I have to make myself scarce immediately (and my visible stuff), and I have to have everything out completely by 10 January. Absolutely not cool.

I have nowhere to store things and I have nowhere to live for six weeks, starting next week.

But I’ll figure it out. Things always work out, somehow. God and the Universe take care of their beautiful Creation, and I am part of that Creation. So, I pray that I be granted the clarity and the brainstorming needed to make this a spectacular situation, filled with love and joy and beautiful, both coming from me and coming to me. Jesus and Universe, I trust in You. Guide me clearly, please, and give me the courage I need for this, please. Amen.

Post-a-day 2021

Bedtime giggles

Lying on the bed, only slightly chilled with no socks on my feet, I chuckle from the belly as my mom describes and displays how her husband regularly gets the sheets wonky and twisted and pulling tight across her in the middle of the night while they both sleep… or, at least, while he sleeps and while she starts to panic with claustrophobia under the suddenly taught and uncomfortably snug sheets.

We are at a spectacular Airbnb this week, as we help my grandma move into an assisted living complex. It seems like a really great place. We are here before her, as we are aiming to set up the bulk of the apartment before she arrives tomorrow afternoon/midday-ish. It has been a lot, but it seems to be going well so Fant. Plus, we have been really enjoying one another’s company, especially tonight at the Airbnb. My mom and aunt and uncle, and my brother and his wife and I are all here. The dynamic has been quite pleasant. We shall see how things alter tomorrow, when a different uncle joins us. He is very different from us in many, many ways. Fingers crossed we all have a wonderful time tomorrow and tomorrow night, too. There is much to be done in the morning – very, very much. Hopefully, we will manage it all so well that we have little to do in the afternoon/evening, and my grandma is impressed with her new home and likes it. God, help us succeed, please, in being your love in the world and, especially, in the life of my grandma tomorrow and this week. Amen.

Post-a-day 2021

Tonight’s brain crowding

Three things:

Firstly, I know life isn’t fair, but it is different to be prepared for it regarding myself and having to witness the utterly hypocritical meanness of one person being directed unfairly and so harshly to someone I dearly love. Those are the moments when I most want to be loud and fierce, both verbally and physically. For now, I step away from the situation and aim not to speak much, if at all. I do not believe anything would be resolved by my outrage being expressed so directly. It’s part of the whole, ‘Why do you expect her to behave any differently than she always does?’ idea – if the person is always nasty, righteously self-centered, and hypocritical, what is one more nasty, self-centered, hypocritical action on the hundreds of thousands already passed? But it still hurts when I must witness directly those incidents, and when I must see immediately how they affect someone I love so dearly.

…………………..

Secondly, have you ever found yourself wondering if a person does not, in fact, have an extremely distinct voice, but, perhaps, you have only attuned yourself, intentionally or not, to notice that voice above the crowd? That that voice, perhaps, is not so distinct as a voice, but as the person behind it and his/her importance in your life in particular, perhaps??? Yeah…

……………………

Finally, I still hold that we get exactly what we need exactly when we need it, and that we end up exactly where we need to be exactly when we need to be there. Golly, it has been rough and tough this week. Someone asked if a lot of curve balls had been thrown my way this week, and I said that it was more like someone was throwing a bunch of basketballs at my face instead, in the middle of torrential rain and lightning while I held an umbrella… and there just weren’t any rules at all. He said it sounded like I was playing the wrong sport.

And I think that was the best line for me, both in terms of the positive comedic effect of it, and in terms of the idea behind it. Perhaps I had been playing the wrong sport in it all. You know, had my eye on the wrong ball…. Perhaps… So, I’ll look to see what I have been missing this week. Why has it been so hard, leaning toward desperate? What have I let myself get stuck on? What game have I thought the Universe was playing with me? How can I turn this all into fully-positive stress, instead of just semi-positive stress and a lot of negative, hopeless-feeling stress? God, give me the clarity to move forward with all of this beautifully and positively, please. Bless me with the courage to take on this stress with glee, like a beautiful math test – which, somehow, has come up in multiple conversations in the past few days….(WHY?????? Haha; love it, though!) – that I can hardly wait to take on and expertly master and sort out. Through You I do all – help me to be Your love fully, now and always. Amen.

Post-a-day 2021

Have a little faith?

Sometimes, life just feels like it sucks… big time… may we, in those times, let go and let God have it all. God, into your hands I commend my whole life. I want so much to happen right now and in the very near future and throughout my life. And I trust that you will give me exactly what I and the World need, exactly when we need it that way. For whatever reason, I need to face these troubles right now. Help me through them powerfully, please. I trust and I trust in you.

Amen.

Post-a-day 2021

Tea and honey(quartz)

I really hope I remember to make the tea with the protein powder before I leave in the morning… and pack my salad in the ice chest, and the ice cubes, which are actually whisky stones, which are actually honeycomb quartz… it will be the first time for me to use them. I’m still unsure as to what I am putting in the container to drink with them… maybe just water, since it likely will be hot where I will be working all daytime tomorrow.

I am in charge of wiping down just about everything before it gets put in the moving truck tomorrow. My grandmother has spent 91 years in residence of Port Arthur, Texas. Monday afternoon, she will arrive to her new home in a community in Wimberley. Talk about change… but we are thrilled for her, and she seems to be quite delighted about her decision, too.

Alas, I must sleep these four and a half hours granted to me now, before my alarm sounds in the morning. Goodnight!

Post-a-day 2021

Silly divine moments

We went to the opera tonight, and the show was a first-time opera of the children’s book A Snowy Day. In it, young Peter goes out to play in the snow all on his own for once. For the production tonight, he had to take off his pajamas and dress in the outdoor winter gear, in order to go play outside for the day. Watching that scene play out, I was reminded of one of my own favorite little oddities.

You see, I love – and no, I don’t know why – putting on a winter coat etc. over my pajamas and going out. In Japan, it happened regularly, either to take out the trash or to go see Fuji-San from atop the hill next to my apartment, late at night. I think I might even have done it one night just to go sneak some rosemary from a neighbor’s massive growth all along the side of his house, and also to go to the 7/11 down the street.

There’s just something about the contrast of it all that I love. Warm, cozy pajama-wear, with no bra, closed into a warm and cozy coat and scarf (and probably hat, too), wool socks slid into my big green rain boots… and then stepping outside into the cold, cold air, usually at night, always post-shower. Those were the times… haha… and I don’t even know why. But I don’t care. They were wonderful, and I am grateful for them. I look forward to the next time I have such an opportunity (as Houston has quite few cold nights in the first place).

Post-a-day 2021