Tag: body

The struggle

Sometimes, I just don’t want to do it anymore… it just feels so hard.

In a pit of the impossible, miserable and feeling like hope is worthless…

And part of me knows that all will be well.

Yet the everything of right now just makes it feel not worth it.

I guess this is the point they’ve been discussing all of Lent on Hallow, when we must just let go and let God take over for us. When we have hit our own limits and we can only proceed by acknowledging that we cannot do it ourselves, that we need God’s help.

A part of me doesn’t want it to get better, but I don’t know why. Perhaps because I know it will take such effort to get better. Perhaps because I don’t want to have to get over the pain. Perhaps because I want to be right that this is horrible behind fairness. Perhaps because, if this were better, I then would have to deal with all the other junk out there right now… and the idea of facing any of that after facing this is just…. even worse than sitting here in the crap mental space that currently surrounds me…

Oh, God… help me to want to heal fully and truly, and then to heal. Help me to forgive you. Help me to let go of the responsibility and guilt of this all. Please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Mouthaches

I have a sore spot in the corner of my mouth. I’ve had it happen in the past, but with no clear reason that I can recall at present. It is not common or regular or anything. It just has happened in the past, I know. I felt it getting really dry the other night, and woke up the next morning with a really dry mouth corner. A while later, it seemed to be almost like a cold sore kind of thing, but also very much not like one. Now, a few days later, as I remember the other times going, the skin keeps ripping and healing as I open my mouth to eat, and then let it sit between eating times.

Basically, it is annoying, and I would like for it to go away. Also, it is a little painful, which sucks on its own, and then more painful every time it rips open again. Cuts on the edges of the mouth are quite terrible, to say the least. Haha

Anyway, I’m exhausted, and we both seem to have a small bug of some sort, though, possibly, different bugs. I went to bed with a sore throat, and he’s been dealing with digestion struggles since he got back the other night. Whatever the case, we both slept loads throughout the day, and that seemed to help. However, we are both ready to sleep a whole night’s sleep now, despite having slept so much today. Our bodies are clearly fighting off something.

Dear God, please, heal us both. Thank you for this life and love and good health. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Uh-oh

Is this slight pain in my tooth a cavity?

God, forbid it, please, and heal my mouth, please.

I take such good care of my teeth and my oral health. Even the dental workers are surprised with how good of a job I do.

It could just be exposed too far down the tooth, and so it is sensitive. I do floss somewhat often…

Oh, God, please, let it just be that. Please. Heal us all. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Another one

It seems my cold has changed it’s mind, or else I have yet another one now. :/ I was almost entirely healed. Now I have yellow stuff in my nasal cavity that I coughed up this morning – fortunately only a small little bit – and a sore through and somewhat stuffy nose that made me sneeze throughout the day and blow it often. What’s more, I have a sore spot under my left arm, in my underarm area. Nothing seems to be visible, but, boy, is it sore to the touch. It feels like a bruise. I’m not sure it isn’t a bruise. But can’t see anything colorful on the surface, so it isn’t looking like a bruise (literally). Might be a slightly swollen lymph node. Might be something else. I’m hoping sleep and water and care will heal it.

And my man is quite sick with his burning throat and constant coughing and nose-blowing. Poor guy despises blowing his nose, and now has to do it, or he’d be covered in icky dripping snot… eew. Anyway…

If you dare, please, pray for my healing, and for his.

Dear God, please, heal my body and heal all those in need of healing, in all the ways they most need it, please. Help us all to sleep well at night, always. In your name, I pray. Amen.

St. Jude, pray for us, please.

Post-a-day 2023

Hurts

At lunch for my brother’s birthday today, they were all taking about how they’re sore and how they have bruises all over their bodies, both in unexpected places. That’s about how it goes with aerials!

I’m definitely sore tonight, but I also did almost no physical activity of any kind today. I walked to and from the car a few times, including at the restaurant for lunch. I sat a bunch at lunch and for work (studying) later. I lay down on the sofa to nap, then later this evening to watch a movie. And I walked around the house a bit, as well as out front a few times to see the Christmas lights my man was putting up (at last – there’s no time like the present!). So, it makes sense that I’m quite tight tonight.

I just asked for restful, relaxing sleep for us all tonight, please, that we be rejuvenated tomorrow and pursue and fulfill your will. Also, as usual, please, get my man home and into his bed safely tonight, and help me let go of some of my fears of his working out so late at night. Please, grant us peace. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Getting taller

We have finally worked out, it seems, a safe an effective way of having my neck stretched and releasing the somewhat compressed vertebrae in my neck and, even, upper and middle back. Golly, did that feel amazing when those three stretches released all those tight spots – just wow. I can tell that I still have a few more spots in that area, but we don’t want to shift too much too fast, so we’ll let it all set a bit over the next few days, and then reevaluate.

We have almost figured out how to release my lower back, just not quite. Several vertebrae did release down low, but the two that are kind of rotated toward each other did not release. I felt them get so close, I could almost feel the relief. Alas, they held on in the end. But this adjustment was loads closer to getting them back to place than we’ve had recently. God, of it be your will, please, allow my full spine to resettle into its best form soon, allowing me to pursue your will most effectively with my body fully intact and thriving. Help me, too, always to honor my body and, therefore, you and your creativity and creation. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Giving Thanks

My body has finally relaxed enough for me not to be somewhat miserable anymore this evening. Thank you, God. And thank you for the family with whom I have been blessed to spend time this week, both during my physical pains and afterward. Please, keep us safe at our Turkey Trot 5k run tomorrow morning, as well as on our drives home. Help us always to pursue your will and to be your love. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Body

Still not feeling great tonight. I slept around eight and a half hours last night, before the squirrels woke me*. I awoke feeling much improved, but it still wasn’t enough. I had soup today, and other healthy food, with only a few bites of not-super-healthy stuff. I exercised at midday, then attempted my 1.5-mile run for the karate test this Saturday, which I failed. It had to be under 13 minutes, and I did it in 13:15, and felt like I might actually throw up the cheese stick I’d just eaten. It was so cold when I started, I felt I’d get such without and outer layer of good warmth. That flannel shirt and scarf and gloves proved to be my downfall (on top of the cheese, that is), making me too hot with it on normally, and then being heavy and still-hot when I’d taken them off and just tied them around my waist. I was also still tired as a whole, but extra worn down from the workout at midday (which, by the way, was practically the Murph workout, with a mile run, 100 pull-ups, 200 push-ups, 300 air squats, and another mile run. We only did 800m runs, instead of the mile on each end, but we added a 400m in the middle, and split the three movements in half on either side of it, doing 50 pull-ups, 100 push-ups, and 150 air squats twice, once on either side of the 400m run. Not an easy workout, even with modifications.). So, it makes sense. I’ll just do it again tomorrow, but normally and much better than today’s run. I don’t typically feel like vomiting when I run, yet I felt that way most of the run this afternoon, and I just felt heavy.

And, tonight, I still feel a bit sick. I was coughing up the occasional bits of icky bogey-like saliva earlier, which supports the ill feelings. So, at that, I go to sleep now. Thank you, and goodnight.

* You see, we have this wooden picnic table squirrel feeder that my man keeps moving around. The past couple days, it has happened to be atop this metal shelf thing outside. So, of course, as the squirrels climb the thing, the bars all jiggle against one another, making the sound of metal pipes bumping each other. Then, once the guys are on top, they then messily spill corn etc. all onto the metal shelf thing, and the lands not just the once on top, but regularly tumbles down to the bottom level or the ground, tinkling all the way on the metal… over and over and over again. Not the greatest to have next to one’s window at six in the morning, I tell you.

The body speaks…

… but do we listen?

When the body stops working for you, what do you do? What can you do?

I truly believe it is a demanded chance for us to rest, not to push ourselves so hard as we have been lately, so hard as what made the body want so desperately to take a break (almost literally). If we don’t rest, it is all too likely to grow even worse, if not now, then soon enough.

Our bodies are speaking to us always, and not merely about what’s going on on the outside in life…

Post-a-day 2022