Tag: stress

Prayers

Dear God, please, let our prayers be received and answered directly from tonight. Thank you for this blessing of life. Help us to live this life with full abandon in you, that we be our best selves, the people you made us to be. Help us to marry as we long to do, a longing given to us powerfully and blessedly by you. Set clear our paths, that we do spectacular things in your name in all that we are and all that we do. Help us to live the lives of our dreams and better, and help us to have always better dreams, wrapped up in you. In your blessed name, I and we and we all pray. Amen.

P.S. Please, make that paperwork happen – give each person involved and inexplicable urgency to do your will with it immediately. Grant us this space to create this life you now have offered to us, and now. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

It’s all in your head

The chiropractor literally rearranged the bones on my head today. The bump in the middle of my head (on top) has moved about an inch backward and to the right side of my body. I have divots in spots where I’ve never had them before. It feels almost like a shelf on top on the back right now – I actually dislike the shape of that part right now – and I, generally, do not recognize my own skull whenever I run my fingers through my hair.

It is a very, very weird feeling.

However, my head feels light in a way I cannot recall having ever felt it. It feels like pounds of weight have been removed fro my face and skull, weight I hadn’t even noticed was there, until it had been removed. I hope and suspect the bones will continue to shift in the coming days, possibly weeks. I see the chiropractor again twice in the next week and a half, which likely will include more work on the skull.

She asked me if I had had an accident in which I’d hit my head, because of how everything was sitting. I told her that I hadn’t had any that I knew. Since starting to see her, I have recalled that I had not just one but two traumatic bangs of the head, and one third bang that was possibly also a factor in all of this. All of them were by the age of 11, the most traumatic being the last of them.

(Keep in mind that these were not concussions or anything, but were still hard hits that messed with my muscles and bones. I didn’t not receive any medical treatment that I’d needed at the time. It was merely the kind of stuff that gets brushed off once the bump goes away for two of them. For the third, I went to the ER. It took so long for them to see me, though, that my mom had worked out the intense pains and problems – she’s a massage therapist and does energy work and all – before a doctor ever even looked at me. The slammed-shut jaw was no longer stuck shut, and I could talk normally and without pain again, so they sent me home. Anyway, I’ve some interesting things to consider these next several days. And yes, it is literally all in my head. Haha

Post-a-day 2023

Roughness

Sometimes, I bite my nails, because they’ve grown too long, and I can’t seem to stand them another minute… and they end up being all rough and uneven around the edges. And then they catch on things a bunch, including my skin and face, until I bite them some more and/or eventually find a nail file and file them down to where I’d wanted them to be in the first place.

It seems an utterly ridiculous struggle to have, yet I face this struggle regularly and often. I have reminders on my phone, telling me to do my toenails and my fingernails at certain increments of time that I figured out were accurate about a year or so ago. And yet I still struggle more than half the times with availing cutting them and ending up biting them down out of annoyance a week or so later (al while my phone still displays the message telling me to trim and file my nails).

I haven’t quite gotten to the root of the struggle, as we can all see by my consistent struggling with this same issue. It seems like it must be an easy solve, if I just gave it a bit of actual time and attention again. Or followed my reminders like I once did. Nonetheless, a ridiculous struggle continues.

And it has me wonder: How many other ridiculous struggles am I having in my life right now? How many other seemingly rough situations actually have a simple solution, for which I need only give it some genuine attention and effort and consistency?

Likely loads…

Post-a-day 2023

Good day

Today was a good day, a beautiful day. The weather was lovely, even with the bout of rain in the late afternoon and early evening.

My friend got done shopping she’d much needed, some of which was entirely without her child, because he hung with me in the toy section and played with toys. (Whenever he said that he needed his mom, I told him that we could go find his mom as soon as he was finished playing. Did he want to stop playing and go find his mom now, or keep playing? “Keep playing.” And, so, he did… the whole time we were in that store! I can only imagine the relief she had in being able just to shop, and not also manage a two-and-a-half-year-old.) I made smoothies that were actually good-tasting and good for us, and we all actually enjoyed drinking them, the child included. The kid woke up in the first place feeling loads better, and, therefore, in a much-improved mood and attitude.

My man spent about half an hour plus in the back yard with the kid, letting him help with chores and just follow my man around to look at whatever he was doing. Some chores were genuine. Others, not so much. e.g. he was ‘mowing the lawn, too,’ by riding around on the little tricycle in circles around the fire pit… on the brick… where there was no grass. 😛 It was absolutely adorable watching the two of them out back. The three of us inside were enjoying our awesome meal in comfort and peace, all while admiring the good practice my man was getting for our own future as parents. I can hardly wait for him to be the amazing father it is so clear he can be and will be.

Yes, today was a good day, a very good day.

Thank you, God. Amen.

Eek!

Whelp, now I might be getting sick. It so the worst time for me to have to fight off big germs, because I’ve just begun menstruating. That means that I likely will have to be up multiple times tonight to use the bathroom, heavy flow for day two and all.

Ugh.

God, heal me, please. Make us all well and healthy, please. And now, please. Let us spend time together feeling and being our best, not feeling our worst. Help us, please. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Rainstorms

Whereas I love hanging at home and going to bed during rain storms, with all the thunder and lightning and wind and rain outside, the dog resolutely disagrees with me. And, frankly, tonight, she is pissing me off. If I didn’t despise having to touch her crate right now, after I’ve already showered and gotten all clean and all, I already would have pulled it out and locked her inside it. No, I don’t like trapping a dog inside its crate. But it is sometimes the only option to prevent them from freaking out so much that they destroy just about anything they can get to.

She looks at me so pathetically, yet won’t accept the comfort I offer her of a fancy faux-fur pallet on the floor right next to my bed… she isn’t even allowed in the bedroom usually. But she’s about to blow it… ugh…

Dear God, please, keep my man safe and bring him back to me safely each night, including tonight. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Bedtime

Not doing great with the idea of getting to bed early and getting up early and going to the gym this week, but I have gotten up earlier than I had been getting up, and I have done the full workout at home just after getting up both mornings. And I’ve gone to bed a bit earlier than I had before (not counting last week, that is.) So, there’s a positive there.

More work to be done, more improvement to be had. For now, I bid you a good night.

Post-a-day 2023

At-home stuff

I haven’t much liked working out on my own in the past. However, there has been something about it this past week that has changed my mind a bit. I think the music at the gym has gotten too loud for me to want to be there so often, and the classes are sometimes too full for me; it has become a bit of a drain on me emotionally and social just being st the gym, I think. It’s almost like it has been overwhelming, in a way… just too much stimulation to be going five days a week. Even four days is a bit tough, it seems.

I think I am doing these workouts at home in large part due to the fact that I can stay away from all of that external stimulation and not have the shock it provides, let alone the reset and quiet time and relaxation it demands afterward for me. The mental disruption from classwork was already enough of a struggle before, but it has become increasingly obvious that the overwhelm of the scenario itself has become a bit much for me lately.

Perhaps working out at home once or twice a week will be all I need to get myself exercising five to six days a week again. I can still go to the gym three or four times, that way, and get that extra push from having folks do the workout with me. But I might strategize a bit and pick my classes as the lower-attended ones most weeks.

I’m wondering if this might just make a huge difference for me and my fitness and workouts, as well as productivity…

Post-a-day 2023

Productive again

Today, my body woke me at my 4:30-ish hour. I got up and went the bathroom, fully intending to go back to sleep. As I got back to bed, I considered that I might just want to stay up and go work out at the 5:15am class, instead of the 6:30am class, since I was already awake. But I didn’t want to take away sleep if I could still sleep well.

So, I agreed that I would lie down and see what happened. If I fell asleep, I needed the sleep. If I didn’t, then the rest would do me good, and I could get up in another 20 minutes to get ready for and go to the gym.

Sure enough, I was awake 20 minutes later, and so got up and got ready and headed to the gym. It was a great workout, and I was glad I had gone so early. I came home and ate protein and showered in the guest bathroom, then I went back to bed. I slept another four and a half hours – clearly, I still needed sleep, but just not anymore at 4:30 this morning.

And I slept hard. When I finally got up later, my man asked if I was going to the noon workout (in five minutes). He hadn’t even realized that I’d gone this morning. 😛

All that being said, I still had an extremely productive day, and am going to bed satisfied with my accomplishments.

I got a good amount done with my current project in my computer programming course, though not as much as I would have preferred. However, I am still so new to it all, I can’t expect to have it all figured out so quickly. These projects get me every time, the ones that are fully self-led, with no guidance whatsoever.

I ended up hitting a point where I knew I just needed to ask someone for some explanations, so I reached out to the meager few contacts I have in the world of computer programming. One of them told me to come on over to the house, so he could take a look and also show me some fun new stuff in the industry. I did, and the conversation was super helpful for me. It was only minimally helpful regarding the project itself, because he doesn’t do that work in particular (though, he was still helpful there, nonetheless). However, it was extremely helpful for me in terms of the mental doubts and struggles I’ve had about what I’m doing in general. He looked over the course syllabus and said it all looked really good. He agreed that I was on a good path and said that what I was doing was all right, that I had all the right instincts, and that he knew I would do very well in this industry. He mentioned, not for the first time, today that there are even people who go to school for this and get a full bachelor’s degree in it, but still can’t code – their brains just don’t have whatever it takes, don’t function in quite the right way. When I sent him a message of thanks later on, he replied, “Glad to hear it. I don’t know what it is, but you’ve got it.”

It was a very encouraging meeting. He genuinely believes that I won’t even have to wait six months to find work. “You can code!” And he was right – I can code. I just need to find the right place that will let me start where I am and continue to learn, because most people don’t start working in the industry, I think, with so little education in it as I currently have. But I am learning quickly and well – my brain truly is made for this kind of stuff – and that can make all the difference.

Anyway, not quite 9pm and I’m about to go finish my stretched and go to bed. It feels good.

Dear God, please, help me to follow the right path with all of this. Make my way clear for me, that I may pursue and fulfill your will in all that I do and that I may keep you present in all of my steps and in all of my successes. Help me to be the person I can be and want to be. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023