Tag: winter

Are the satellites even out there?

Okay. Power just went out at 7:58pm. Not sure what the deal is or for how long the power will be out. I had stopped to play guitar for a bit just now, and was thoroughly enjoying it. The plan was to do at least one more category of tidying – letter-writing materials and tools – if not two – also Japanese art supplies. However, I will do neither tonight. I pulled out the rest of everything (I think, but will do a final check in the morning) for the letter-related stuff just now, after lighting two candles.

I’m hoping the water pressure will return in the very, very near future – I prefer flushing the toilet to pouring water into it. I was contemplating this all earlier, how we are what is call a first-world country. That involves civility, – lacking a lot this year with all the violence and hatred from both ends of the spectrum – electricity, – just over 57% of Houston has no power – and clean drinking water – a huge chunk of Houston has no water at all. So, it seems we have gone this year from a first-world country to …. what? Pathetically incapable of being self-sufficient? Utterly miserable due to our reliance on being a first-world country? Yes, I suppose. Yes, indeed.

Well, the satellites surrounding or planet are still allowing a signal through this phone, so I shall finish this business while that connection still exists.

May we all have calming, healing, empowering, and magic-like nights tonight, that we may awaken rejuvenated and filled with light and love. And dear Lord, please allow us to have that include electricity and running, clean water.

Gratitude. 🙏

Post-a-day 2021

^Easy peasy this time, for some reason 😛

Are the satellites even out there?

Okay. Power just went out at 7:58pm. Not sure what the deal is or for how long the power will be out. I had stopped to play guitar for a bit just now, and was thoroughly enjoying it. The plan was to do at least one more category of tidying – letter-writing materials and tools – if not two – also Japanese art supplies. However, I will do neither tonight. I pulled out the rest of everything (I think, but will do a final check in the morning) for the letter-related stuff just now, after lighting two candles.

I’m hoping the water pressure will return in the very, very near future – I prefer flushing the toilet to pouring water into it. I was contemplating this all earlier, how we are what is call a first-world country. That involves civility, – lacking a lot this year with all the violence and hatred from both ends of the spectrum – electricity, – just over 57% of Houston has no power – and clean drinking water – a huge chunk of Houston has no water at all. So, it seems we have gone this year from a first-world country to …. what? Pathetically incapable of being self-sufficient? Utterly miserable due to our reliance on being a first-world country? Yes, I suppose. Yes, indeed.

Well, the satellites surrounding or planet are still allowing a signal through this phone, so I shall finish this business while that connection still exists.

May we all have calming, healing, empowering, and magic-like nights tonight, that we may awaken rejuvenated and filled with light and love. And dear Lord, please allow us to have that include electricity and running, clean water.

Gratitude. 🙏

Post-a-day 2021

^Easy peasy this time, for some reason 😛

Accountability, even when freezing

Today took a lot in the tidying work. For one thing, it was ridiculously cold out – seriously, it was -2°C most of the day today, and we even had snow on the ground, and some of it never melted!!! – and that meant it was also cold in the house. So, my body was struggling to find balance in warmth almost all day. That took effort. For another, a creature broke into the walls somehow last night, and CHOMPed away from around 2:00am to just after 7:00am. Vibrating wood reverberations and teeth scratching on wood and all that jazz. And yes, it was right near my bed (a wall or two away, of course, but close enough). It woke me up at about 2:00; kept me up as I looked for a solution for maybe twenty minutes; kept me up another half hour because it was so loud and stress-inducing (because imagine having a wild, potentially-rabid animal break through a wall in the inside of your house – do you really want to wake up to that in the morning?); and then left me in a stress-y half-sleep for the same reasons. I woke up just after 6:00am, totally not rested. But I went outside and played for a bit, and that was fun.

Photos here:

I particularly enjoyed the idea of wearing the unicorn onesie while playing out on the snow. Because that is pure magic right there: a rainbow unicorn playing in the snow in Houston. Nothing about that idea is less than spectacularly magical. And no, I think nobody even saw me, because the world was closed up for the day, and so no one was up yet, let alone going outside yet.

After that, I ate some yummy food – leftovers from my valentine onigiri that I turned into a warm, absurdly satisfying salad – and then went upstairs to get to work. Just after seven, the chomping finally stopped, and I could focus. I got a bit done, but was so sleepy, I ended up getting on my bed for a nap around nine, and slept for just over two hours. Hard. And gratefully so.

Then I tutored and ate, and then got back to work with tidying.

I temporarily put away the DVDs I am keeping, which was super satisfying, and then I made it through all my hair accessories, all my money- and identification-related documents/cards, all my electronics (and cables and all that even-remotely-electrical stuff), and all my cameras and camera-related stuff. I was rather surprised at how much foreign currency I had sitting with my money-related stuff. I kept the individual ones I wanted to keep – because I’ve always loved having actual currency from other nations on hand – and added the rest of the excess to the pile of US money that was ridiculous for me to be keeping sitting around, and the cottage cheese container (previously cleaned out, obviously) filled with about $50 or so of coins, in preparation of a trip to the bank (when the world opens up here again) and a direct deposit into my savings account that I’m not allowed to touch.

I was surprised at how long the first parts of those took me today. I got really weighed down after the important money stuff one. I was standing with my head against the angled ceiling, warming my hands over the oil heater, having an imaginary conversation with… actually, no… I was having a real conversation with an imaginary person, about how I didn’t want to do it anymore – I wanted to curl up with a movie, and maybe even fall asleep for a while and have to watch it again, whenever I woke up. That’s what I felt like doing. That and crying. But I wanted to keep myself accountable to my higher goals and wishes – and so I made myself reach out to my accountability partner.

‘I just want to call someone, and say how much I want to watch a movie and sleep; take a rest from all of this, instead of trekking through any more today,’ I thought to myself, imagining how easy it would be to have the other person agree with me that I deserved a break.

Pause.

‘Well, you do have an accountability partner. Tell her that, and see what she says,’ I thought.

“Ha!”

And so, I had the conversation with myself, taking turns being the one working and the accountability partner, as I had to do so much at the start of all of this. And it was spectacular. She – meaning I – reminded me of why I care about all of this in the first place; of how it’s okay to be scared and terrified; and of how I want to keep my word to myself, especially on this birthday gift to myself. And I still felt heard. She agreed with everything I presented, and understood them and got them completely – like, seriously more than anyone has ever gotten me on something, right? It was very cool. And she also was present to my true intentions, and helped me stick with them. And it took only a few minutes for the whole thing… we just are that much in sync with one another! 😂

Anyway, that bit was the whole point of this today. I went really tangential today. Oh, well… that’s kind of how this whole weekend has felt. Even Monday has been a tangent of the weekend, instead of the start of its own week. 😛

P.S. Did I share this lovely photo of my valentine onigiri skills? They are even pink from beet powder, and 100% Paleo.

Post-a-day 2021

^Only slightly had to think about it

Happy Winter Day!

Do you ever have those days where, after having had a wonderful time doing something, instead of basking in the joyful bliss that typically follows such an event, you find yourself somewhat depressed, as though it ended up being more a reminder of somewhere you are failing at something, instead of a victory in and of itself?

Those really are the odd days, are they not?

Perhaps it would be best to drink more water (than I did today, that is), get more sleep (same as previous), and keep intending and getting the work done.  Life often feels like it is falling to pieces, just before the pieces fall into place.  🙂

P.S. It is truly winter in Houston today and tonight.  We had a high of 2º Celsius – for real – and it is currently -2º Celsius, with sleet and snow and intense wind gusts off and on.  We have a 70-100% chance of snow in the morning before sunrise, with a high of -3º and a low of -8º (also the low tonight), and the entire town closed down earlier this evening, and will remain so at least until Tuesday, when the forecasted high is back up to 3º.  I’m not sure I have ever experienced temperatures in Houston so far below freezing in my whole life.  Elsewhere, sure, of course, but not in Houston.  I do hope it snows a lot tomorrow, and that I get to enjoy it a lot.  🙂

P.P.S. Happy Valentine’s Day, folks!  I made themed paleo onigiri today, and had a paleo matcha latte.  Both were delicious and satisfying. Photo of the first shown here:

Post-a-day 2021

^Bam!

Yikes, it’s cold

Whatever it is cold out, I find that the day always feels harder and longer by the end of it. I guess, since the sun never fully comes out, it feels like it has been the same part of the day all day long, giving it the sense of some thing that is typically only a few hours lasting the entire day. Or something like that.

I did not accomplish everything today that I had said I would accomplish or what I had wanted to accomplish regarding tidying.

I did have a private French lesson; go work out, even though I didn’t feel like it; hang out with my mom; give her two dessert crêpes from Sweet Paris (only $5.25 total, including tip) for World Nutella Day; set up successfully and use the new printer – yay!; tutor French; and have three different smoothies today.

A lot came up, both in tidying and outside of it, today. It was a very good day, but there was a lot of emotion, leaving me extra tired right now. It is late, and I have to get up very early for work tomorrow, and be on the road by 6:30 AM. I know that it would be very bad for me to aim to make decisions about things that bring me joy right now, in my current exhausted state. So, I’m going to bed. I have an updated list of what I will do tomorrow for the tidying. I am cautiously and reasonably optimistic for it.

Also, one portion of it totally frightens me, and I think that factored in today. So, perhaps that is something I need to have be high on my list tomorrow, so it cannot take up any more of my time, concerning me.

Post-a-day 2021

^Yay!

Winterrr

Well, it is full-on brrr time in Houston right now. We were at 3°C this morning, with a feels like of -1. I had a frosty windshield when I got up to go exercise this morning, evidenced here:

By midday, however, the chill had fully gotten to me: my throat was hurting. By early afternoon, I could hear buildup in the back of my nose, and my voice was difficult to use at regular volume, and sounded odd, like going in and out of signal somehow. I took a long nap early afternoon, had an extra super-smoothie, then ate hot food for dinner. And I am definitely sick.

However, it feels just like all the other winter chills I seem to get at least once every year. Hopefully, I can sleep and drink it off* this weekend, and be back to fully functioning by Monday morning. My dad and I are scheduled to go for a walk together for his birthday then. (Clearly, I won’t be preparing a song for him this weekend, seeing as how singing is not really an option for me at the moment.)

Anyway, here’s to hoping my room is warm enough tonight to help heal me properly, and my sleep is deep enough and lasts long enough to help, as well. Cheers!

*Of course, I mean with water. I hope you didn’t need that clarification, though. 😛

Post-a-day 2021

^Got it, but only barely, like last night!

Morning life

My cousin is pregnant. Her body wakes her up at approximately 5:34 every morning these days. After my workout this morning (5:15 class), I sent her a message to see if she was up and about. “Indeed,” she replied. So, I called her.

It was a bit weird to grasp, when I considered it all after the fact. Another person and I were chatting lively on the phone about various things, almost as though it were a lunchtime visit. Yet, it was completely dark outside.

After I arrived back home and went inside, I cooked some warm food for breakfast – same as yesterday, but possibly more delicious this time! – and chowed down while I sat next to the gas heater on the floor, still chatting with my cousin. (She was having a nutty cereal for her breakfast, but didn’t know the name… just that it was nutty.)

And none of it felt weird to me. In fact, it all felt really great. When we got off the phone after an hour, at about 7:40, I was washing my dishes and cleaning up after eating my breakfast. I went upstairs, used the bathroom and showered, tutored for almost two hours, then relaxed on my bed for a while. And it all felt completely good. It felt like this was real life as I want it, although I haven’t been living it much lately.

I usually get up around 9:00 to an alarm, unrested (because I actually wake up around 4:30-5:00, and struggle to fall back asleep fully before I have to get up for the day). I start eating somewhere between ten and one pm, and finish any eating by approximately eight hours later (6:00pm-9:00pm).

On the schedule these past two days, however, I’m finishing eating by three and four pm. I’m taking a nap mid-late morning, and feeling very alive for work in the afternoon and evening, despite not eating anymore while there. I go to bed tired – well, exhausted, really – and in a very good way. My body hurts in all the right ways (from the exercise). And I’m eating really quite well. Even the few cookies I ate seem like nothing compared to all the super-healthy stuff I’ve had otherwise. And my body doesn’t even seem to notice that I’ve had them either, it all ha balanced so well.

Basically, once again, I am contemplating a shift in my life to earlier in the day. Period. We shall see what happens next…

Post-a-day 2020

Slightly a mess

I don’t do well with “storing things”. Winter sweaters or not-so-often-used items that usually are stored away, perhaps in a closet or the back of a shelf, usually end up staying in the back of that closet or shelf for me. Even when I need them, want them, the hassle of pulling them out and finding a new, daily use spot for them is usually too great for me to make the effort. Plus, I tend to forget about them. I meander around my clothes, bummed and uncomprehending why I cannot seem to find clothes that I love for the current weather. I notice that I need the heavy sweater as I am on my way out. at that point in time, I am ready to leave, and do not mentally or physically want to spend the time to pull out the big sweaters. So, I find the easiest-to-reach one that will get me by in the day, and head out the door. If I remember later – and that’s a big “if” – when I am back home and not busy, I might rearrange to put the heavy sweater box into an easily accessed spot. But it usually takes me a couple months of needing them consistently to do that.

I know, I know: it is rather ridiculous. But I’m not doing it intentionally, necessarily. It kind of just happens that way, and I am noticing it right now as I contemplate why I never seem to wear all my cool sweaters in Fall and Winter (aside from the fact that our temperatures change constantly from cold to hot to cool, even on a single day, here in Houston).

But I also notice it with other things. If my guitar is in a case, I will pull it out rarely. If it is sitting out on a stand, I will grab it and play it regularly, and often. Basically, I guess I just use what is out, easily accessed. If it is put away or hard to reach, I tend not to use it unless using it is a necessity.

Keeping that in mind, I think a sort of room organization overhaul is coming soon…

Especially considering that I will be getting back an awesome chair and ottoman that I had lent to my cousin year ago, when I moved to Japan for a while. I would like to have a functional space that includes the chair and ottoman, anyway, so some rearranging needs to happen for that already. And the sewing machine and its table… forgot about that again… haha

Post-a-day 2020

Stress and Presence

My mom and I had some stuff go rather poorly yesterday. I was extremely tired, both physically and emotionally, and she was rather tired and stressed, so it wasn’t a good start for entering into somewhat stressful territory for us together. Nonetheless, it happened, and it didn’t go very well, and we both were left, at the end of the day, dissatisfied with parts of our interactions throughout the day. This morning, we started to talk about it all, and that went even worse. Would you guess it? We were both even more exhausted and stressed than yesterday. So, no shocker at how that all went this morning.

After a morning of delight and an afternoon and evening filled with stress and a lack of logic/sense/consciousness from others, I was really working to get off it and to forgive and be okay. Once I was in the midst of all of that, rather than cry my heart and exhaustion out and still have to work, I set myself to mental work to see what I could resolve. I couldn’t alter my surroundings, but I could reconsider my stance within them, and I could use that time, rather than to be stressed, to re-evaluate what really would make the difference for my mom and me and our joint stress regarding our interactions lately and, especially, yesterday and this morning.

By the end of work time, I had it all figured out. I hopped into the car with my mom to go look at Christmas lights together in the area, and we talked through everything over the first 15-20 minutes. We both got heard and clear, and we established actions to take in the future whenever certain scenarios arise (the ones that have been sorts of trigger situations lately). It makes a world of a difference when neither of us is in the middle of doing something, and we are in the same place as one another. It also helped that I was reminded of how stressed life can be when I live it on other people’s levels instead of my own.

So, life is a whole lot better having things clear between my mom and me. That was a huge layer of stress today that feels amazing to have removed at last (though it was only about 20 hours in existence).

And, all I care to say how about all the other nonsense I experienced today with work is: Please, be present in life, and pay attention – it really sucks for the people around you whenever you don’t, whether you notice it or not.

At that, I bid you a good night and restful, refreshing sleep tonight. 🙂

P.S. Happy my brother’s birthday to you, and happy winter solstice! This has been the shortest day of the year, signing off!

Post-a-day 2020