Tag: work

Weeping Wednesday?

I cried at least three times at work today, because of work. Talk about being overwhelmed, and you’re talking about me today. But I managed to let it out as it came up, and then get down to business again and again throughout the day. I spoke a couple times with the teacher for whom I am teaching the first quarter – she’s on maternity leave – and what she had to share with me helped immensely with my stress. I now know somewhat decently what specifically is expected of me regarding content and presentation for class, and I have my next steps clearly in place for tomorrow (and the future classes as a whole). There is much for me to learn regarding the subject matter – Sacred Scripture and Catholicism – and I want to learn it all. But it will take time. And I have a clear plan as to how to do that now. Phew.

I want to do a good job here, as with everything I do. That’s why I’m stressed – because I care so much. But I definitely sat under the desk and cried hard at one point near midday today. So, today was a lot in a lot of ways. I wonder if tomorrow will be quite so emotional…

Dear God, grant me the grace and perseverance to do the amazing job I know you have called me to do here. Help me to fulfill your will fully and wholeheartedly. And help me to see clearly where you want me and need me to go. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Improvement

Well, we really got some stuff started at school today. I have a computer and can log in to it, and now can log in to all the online things I need to access and use. Still some links on details with some of those, but getting into them in the first place was a big step forward today! I also was given access to a boatload of (organized) files to show me what to do for classes and all – super duper helpful. And I have keys for school and the classroom I’ll be using. Woohoo! (No joke, an HR person seemed very much against the idea of my having keys for anything… you’ll trust me to teach and spend loads of time with the kids, but not to have a key to the classroom or building? Odd to me, anyway! But it worked out in the end! I have zee keys!) Also, I had a good time with the silly human Scrabble ice breaker this morning, which was a positive surprise for me. I felt much more wanted and accepted today as a whole, as several people reached out to check in on me and to support with what hadn’t been appropriately prepared for me.

Went and looked all around – even in trash bins! – for my scrunchie from yesterday, but didn’t find it. Still hopeful, because God can make anything happen! He gave me my keys very easily simply by my going to look for the scrunchie! Trusting that all is perfect and in God’s will here. 😉

Loads to read and learn before class starts later next week. Sticking to not taking work home with me, which I suspect might be a bit difficult this time, now that I have this amazing man and all, whom I want to see and with whom I want to be almost always…but I pray for the needed support from God for this.

Lord, help me to do all that I need, so that I might be an amazing teacher to these students this semester. Help me to learn and study what I need in order to step forward powerfully and confidently into this school year, embodying all that you will in me. In your name, I pray. Amen. And thank you. Amen. Amen. Amen!

Post-a-day 2022

Time for school

Or, well, work, I suppose. Whatever the case, tomorrow is the first day back at school for me for the school year. Yippee! And also a touch of boo-hoo. In-service can be great and can be terrible, for one thing. And summertime can be addicting with the full-on daytime free time and all.

But I think I am ready for it this year. Nervous? Yes. Scared? Yes. A touch terrified? Indeed. But ready? Also a yes.

Dear God, please guide me clearly and powerfully. In your name, I pray. Let’s do this. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Alas

We had plans to go to a dance class and small social tonight, and we were excited about it. It’s just down the road, not even five minutes away, and one of my good friends was going to go with us. But, after getting home after the afternoon workout – how many times can I use “after” in a phrase??? – my man and I both realized that we really just wanted to stay home for the evening. We both have a long list of things we want to accomplish after all the activities this past weekend, plus all the stuff we already had on the lists. And I start school stuff in another week. So, the pressure is on – I want to get a foot handful of this all handled before then, so I’ve to step it up and get crackin’ big time this week.

Anyway, we stayed home tonight. And I just say that I truly believe we both got a good chunk of stuff handled this evening, and we both are glad and grateful that we chose to stay home this time, even though we had been looking forward to the dancing. Thank you, God, for the discernment.

God, give me the way, the will, and the strength to get it all done this week, please. Bless us both with your grace and power in our endeavors. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

P.S. What, it isn’t 2023 yet? We just had Christmas on Monday. It must be time for the new year now, right?!

Packing and unpacking

As I pack for this beachside trip this weekend, I find myself having to unpack all sorts of stress. My clothes are an odd combination of styles, when it comes to the clothes that actually fit me properly, and I am struggling to build outfits that aren’t simply workout-type clothing or fall weather clothing. The cute bottoms I have have no cute tops to go with them – just an abundance of matching/complementary cute sport bras, which isn’t the same thing. It seems my mid-range of formal clothing never really got replenished with my new age and style and size these past few years, but I had still gotten rid of everything that didn’t bring me joy. And, given my lifestyle the past couple years, with even most of my work requiring a workout gear wardrobe (and my actual workouts, of course), I have little that fits beyond the workout gear, some formal dresses, and the few teaching outfits. Even my swimsuits don’t quite exist. I just have a couple old one-pieces – like from my mom from before I was born – and one modern one-piece that is actually a touch small on me. None of them fit quite the way one wants to dress on a beach vacation.

Anyway, so, I’m having to deal with various emotions and thoughts around myself and my life as I work on this packing… the should-haves and shoulda-dones in which I do not believe in believing have been strong today, reminding me of how I could have done things better, differently, etc…

I trust that I will work it all out tomorrow, but it is definitely a touch uncomfortable still now, having only begun to unpack the emotions and what lies behind them, as well as having only gotten first-round outfits put together (meaning that I don’t love them and am not super excited about them yet, so they need some work to reach that point tomorrow).

Dear God, please, help me to fulfill your will through being my best possible self and through loving fully those in my life, with your love. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Nuts

Not only are we a white girl and an Asian girl living in a majority black and part-Hispanic apartment complex – read that ‘major minorities’ – but we are also just generally weird people in the first place… put us in black culture, and we become suddenly even more weird.

Example? Well, today, I tested out how best to go about cleaning the hallway outside our front door… the hallways are outdoors technically, but they are covered, and most have walls on both sides almost their entire lengths. However, they are coated in black and general dirtiness, and it is dreadful. It gets all over the bottoms of shoes, it is so horrible. So, what do I do? Naturally, I scrubbed it with bleach water. I would power wash if it were an option, but there isn’t a hose hookup on our floor near here, and I feel like that would be a bit frowned upon as a whole for the noise and water…

So, yeah… I was scrubbing the ground outside my front door this afternoon. And I’ll be using a bigger floor scrubber, probably tomorrow, to do the whole strip of the hallway next, now that I know it works. And I’m excited about it…

Crazy white girl, for sure… 😛

Post-a-day 2022

Empirical data

As opposed to imperial… (stolen Death Star plans!)

Anyway, today marked my 201st workout at my gym for this membership year, April 8 of 2021 to April 7 of 2022. Tomorrow marks the beginning of my fourth year at this wonderful gym, and I am extremely grateful. Being part of this gym has helped to transform my life for the better – thank you, God, and thank you to all who have played positive roles in making this experience possible and happen. Amen.

I am the fittest I have ever been in my life right now, I look amazing, I feel amazing, I am strong, I am beautiful…, and I am woman – hear me roar. (No, literally, you can hear me roar regularly at these really tough workouts. I roared a bit just yesterday in the workout!) And my self-comfort and self-confidence are off the charts amazing, in large part due to this gym. It is spectacular, and so is the owner. Thank you immensely.

And now, after 201 workouts completed within year three, we shall set a new goal of 202 for year four. How many times do you do a really hard workout per week? Over here, we be crazy… and I know it. Doing my max effort pull-up’s after every workout, and getting two other guys to join the efforts for themselves after their workout of the day. Nuts, I tell you, we are nuts at this gym. And I am ever grateful and glad to be a part of it all. Thank you all. Thank you, God. This year will be 202 workouts for the year! Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Exhausted

Pursuing God’s will is not always easy – golly, is it exhausting! But, boy, is it fulfilling!
Thank you, God, for this day and this life. Please, bless me in this next year of my life as I aim to embody the life you have imagined and created for me especially and intentionally. Help me to be your love in the world, through your grace. In your name, I pray. Amen.
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(Man, that’s still hard for me to get right. I hesitate just about every day!)

Trust

God, I trust you.

Today, I went to help/volunteer at a track and field meet. I verbally signed up in response to a sort of challenge back in November – something about how I didn’t have a problem with early mornings, and so didn’t think I would struggle with their schedule…, I think. I had been told (and write in my calendar and verbally confirmed) that we needed to be there at 5am to set up. Turns out, it was actually 5:30am, which is rather different so early in the morning.

My friend had asked me why I even was going, when we were watching the Olympics the night before, and I’d said I had to go to bed, even though I’d wanted to keep watching. She said that since I didn’t have to be there, then why was I even going, since I had an alternative of staying up to watch Olympics and spend time with her. I considered it, but it was only moments for me to be 100% clear that I truly wanted to go to this meet and that I felt a real calling to be there (and to be on time and do the whole thing).

And getting there too early actually worked out perfectly, because it then became a whole silly and impressive thing that I was possibly the first person ever to arrive before this one particular coach.

The day as a whole was awesome. I felt throughout my whole being that I was where I needed to be today, on every level. It was spectacular. Oh, God, thank you for this amazing blessing. I am awed by the glory of this whole experience and the love I truly was given through it today. Thank you. Amen. Please, help me to continue to have such experiences, where I can feel that I am exactly where I need to be and where I am needed, exactly when I need to be there. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022