Month: March 2021

Saturday, in the bar(??)

Okay, so it seems to be as I had thought already: the rash on my bum etc. is very likely due to the bit of virus I have going on inside my body right now. Kind of like how people can get rashes with, say, scarlet fever, this is the body’s reaction to whatever is going on inside in the waging battle. That was already the source of whatever was going on with my arm and the rest of my muscles, their being extremely and unexplainable tight (pre-virus idea). (Seriously, though, stretches I do every night before bed, I was struggling to do at all, let alone to the degree that I do them almost every night – I was unexplainably tight all over my body.) At least, that’s how everything seems according to the holistic nutritionist (aka holistic doctor), whom I saw for a quick check-up this evening. I am to let him know if the rash worsens at all or does not go away in the next week. That alone, knowing that someone more knowledgeable it available and willing to help me, gives me much ease around this. The treatment he gave me, as well, has eased my mind and body immensely, too. And so, I believe I will sleep very, very well tonight. (Thank you, God.)

Separately, we had a social for my gym this afternoon at an outdoor bar between me and the gym. It was incredibly nice weather, and the company was lovely, and I truly enjoyed my time. I didn’t talk to loads of people, but I did circle a touch and interact with many. I did not hold myself back, and I also allowed myself to interact only where and when I actually wanted to interact with people. And it was awesome.

When I first arrived, a guy asked for and then scammed my driver license on a handheld device. He explained to me about the icehouse’s(?) being in a dry part of town (that’s normal, by the way), and do it required a free membership in order to buy alcohol. I declined the membership, and told him that I don’t drink, and so don’t need it. He seemed extremely doubtful, and, though he said ‘okay,’ he proceeded to inform me that I would not be allowed to buy a drink, if I went to the bar and tried to get one.

…….

Uh, okay….? I don’t drink alcohol… my non-drinking is not going to disappear in thirty minutes or something… it’s kind of a standard by which I live every day of my life….

It had me wonder how many idiot college kids he got in there who tried not to have the membership and then buy alcoholic beverages after entering. Super facepalm…

Later, it had me thinking about AA-type people who don’t drink for intense reasons, but then I recalled that those people would be rather unlikely to be visiting a bar in the jest place. But then, here was I, one who dislikes bars and doesn’t drink alcohol (or probably anything else they would serve), walking into this outdoor bar for my gym social. I was there for the people and the water, not the alcohol etc. Who’s to say longer-time AA folks wouldn’t be capable of doing the same thing? Although, I do admit fully that it would not be common. Same with pregnant women.

Anyway, that was silly.

At the end of the social, a small group was going to eat, and I was invited to join them. I easily joined them for the food, and I had a lovely time talking with and spending time with all of them then (as we hadn’t talked much or at all at the earlier part). When they continued on to somewhere else for more drinking (still outdoors and all), I comfortably declined and wished them a lovely rest of their day and evening/night, as I headed out. It is lovely not having regrets after group interactions like that. And it is especially so for me, when the setting is one in which I previously have had those regrets. I was myself today, and I was comfortable in who I am. It was spectacular.

And a tiny fun bit to it all: We all got sunburned. And some of us badly…. But we are fit half-lobsters! 😛

Today was really great, and I am entirely grateful for it.

Gratitude, God. Thank you.

Post-a-day 2021

^Meh… had to consider

Hmm

Well, I still have the rash. I think the next step is to get baby diaper rash cream tomorrow. I will be in the same place as my mom at one point, so I’ll see if she will take a look at it to give her confirmation on the potential diagnosis of diaper rash. If she does confirm, I’ll move forward with that treatment pathway. If she finds it to be different than she expected, then I’ll use whatever knowledge she has to guide my next steps.

Fingers crossed!!

Post-a-day 2021

^Only a slight hesitation that time

Pluses and minuses

Okay, I exercised again today. I was very aware of my bottom throughout several parts of the workout, wondering if my rash was doing okay, or if it was worsening. So, I was a bit stressed about that, off and on. Plus, ditto regarding my arm/elbow muscle situation. Depending on how everything looks and feels tomorrow, that will determine my next steps with each. I am really, really hoping that they both clear up by tomorrow night.

Ugh… speaking of tomorrow night, I have to work at that part-time job. And it is for a very long time. And it is until very late. I go to bed by nine pm usually. My body wakes me up before five am each morning. It is already dreadful whenI have to work until eight pm once a week. Tomorrow, I have to work until eleven pm. I won’t be in bed until midnight, best case scenario, which means I won’t even get five hours of sleep. What’s extra annoying is that I am given a mandatory 30-minute “meal break”, because I am scheduled to work for so long tomorrow night. I don’t even eat after five pm, even on my latest of days eating. Usually, it is three pm.

Ugh. The lack of sleep is definitely not going to help my current physical state. Really, it just makes me so frustrated that I want to cry.

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Seriously?!

****Body issues in the following text – be forewarned!!****

I have a ridiculous rash and a strained muscle, so I can’t exercise, and I’m quite stressed today. What is going on with my body right now?

?????!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh!

It’s like a diaper rash, and is along my bum crack. It is possibly from not showering right away after exercising Monday afternoon, but we really aren’t sure. I’ve spent most of the day on my side, letting the area air out and, hopefully, dry out enough. I put some remedy stuff on it all, but I very much dislike being without underwear or pants/shorts/bottoms of some sort, so that has added an extra layer of annoyance to my day. The one positive about it is that it doesn’t actually hurt or itch, the rash, which is a positive sign. However, it is still a rash, and that is not good.

Ugh…

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Ouch

It seems that I might have strained a muscle that runs through my elbow last week. When I stretched before getting out of bed one morning, I yelped in pain and automatically yanked my arms back inward from the stretch. It has felt like something had just suddenly bitten me just above my elbow, in the direction of my tricep, etc. Something was definitely not okay.

I checked in with my mom on what to do – she’s a massage therapist – and she had little advice. I then checked with my aunt, who does a more rehabilitation type of massage therapy, and she gave me some things to do to see if I could handle whatever it was that was wrong. I did those, and they helped significantly. However, they didn’t heal the issue completely, only improved upon it. I could now stretch farther before the biting sensation would arise, but it still inevitably felt like a spider was attacking the back of my upper arm, whenever I got it into certain positions or used it in certain ways, all of them normal parts of any regular day for me.

Now, several days later, I have seen a chiropractor, and, though he only had a few brief moments to check it out, he thinks it might be strained. But it was definitely right, he said. Being a holistic nutritionist, he gave me a sort of regime to follow to see if my elbow issue can sort itself out in the next few days. If it doesn’t, though, he said to go back to see him on Saturday, when he’ll be able to spend more time on it all with me. I stayed away from the gym today, because so much of it was about pushing with the arms (bench press and push press and all that jazz), and I had barely been able to do the super light push presses last week already. Plus, it just seemed like the rest would be a good idea for my arm. I am following what the chiropractor/nutritionist said to do, so we shall see what happens tomorrow and if things improve – I certainly hope they do, and quickly. Things like this can grow rather scary. As it stands, I keep checking if my arm is swollen or red, because it feels like my arm is both in that area just above my elbow on the back side of my arm. And it feels consistently so. Even when I touch it gently, it hurts pointedly, like a burning sensation on my skin, though it is the muscle underneath that is so tender and sore.

Man… God, help me heal, please, that I may be fully fit to do my work here. Thank you for all. Amen.

Post-a-day 2021

^Still had to think about it carefully while typing it

Progress

I did another set of progress photos today to coincide with the body electrode measuring scan I did this evening. On January 11th, I began a good rehab and fitness challenge with my gym. I had an electrode scan that week, too. The challenge ended after three weeks, and included required progress photos.

At that three-week mark, I was not delighted with my photos; not in the least. I barely even saw a difference in the photos, despite the fact that I had verified differences in how my clothes fit and how certain parts of my body felt and looked firsthand. A friend of mine reminded me that women tend to take longer for things to change visually, like in a photo, when compared to men. (Ah, yes, I recall the men’s photos from the start of at-home workouts for COVID-19, and the month-in photos… super unfair.)

Anyway, so I determined to keep at it for st least another two sets of three weeks, and see what could happen then. Today, I am at that nine-week completion mark. I did photos every three weeks, and compared them to one another. By the sixth week, I definitely noticed a difference from the start of the photos, and it was even more so noticeable today. (Keep in mind that I was already rather active before the challenge, though not in near as great shape as I had been pre-COVID-19. So, I wasn’t starting from sedentary or from eating total crap, but I definitely was not as active as pre-COVID-19 [or now] and was rainy a lot of stuff that wasn’t good for me in various ways.)

Put in the right workout outfit, I look amazing right now, even to my own eyes. I watched this little clip someone took of me last week over and over and over again, it was difficult for me to grasp that I actually looked so good as I did. And it was awesome.

Today, in my old shorts (that I now have to roll twice to keep from falling off of me) and new bra, as in all the photos (though I grabbed the wrong green ones by mistake, it might have been a good thing in the long run), I did the fourth set of photos and was grateful. Though everything was out in the open, I can truly see an awesome improvement from January. From the electrode dats tonight, I have numbers to back it up.

My weight went down a pound. My muscle weight – the number of pounds of muscle in my body – went from 46.5lbs to almost 51lbs, increasing three pounds. (That means that I released roughly four pounds of fat.) And my body fat percentage went from 18.5% to 17.5%, down a whole percentage point. Several other things improved, too, but I do not remember their particular numbers.

All of that was in nine weeks. Sounds pretty cool to me, but it also feels Really cool and Really good, and I am extremely grateful for the progress and my ability to make it.

I’m conclusion, wow. Here are some photos, in case you care to compare them.

Post-a-day 2021

^Had I think about it still

Agèd

I must be old. I can not describe how… necessary it feels to be home now, after being away for two nights. My space, my things, my clean, my joys and comforts… I haven’t even gotten homes for all of my stuff yet – more than half of it still seems to be sitting in odd spots around the room, or just totally out somewhere. (Actually, it’s more like a third of it doesn’t have an official spot in which it can live yet, and a big part of that is the oil spill I’m still working on cleaning up behind my bed’s head, in front of and on a main storage shelf for my room. Once that finally stops soaking up into the fresh spreads of baking soda that I keep laying and vacuuming up, we should be in really good condition with finishing the tidying for everything.) And yet this place feels right. This is the place where I sleep, surrounded by all of this stuff, and in this bed with these sheets and blankets and all, and these fairy lights and twinkle lights on the walls.

And I am powerfully grateful for it all.

P.S. Not to mention, I go to bed already between 8:30pm and 9pm, and wake up between 4am and 6am (if I “sleep in”)…

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^I swear, I almost put 2022… ::facepalm

Drained

I think it is an extremely important social skill to know when people in a room do not want to listen to music and when they want the music turned down. Extremely important.

And yet so many people seem not to have this skill…. and they often seem to claim control of the music.

Ugh.

I’m just drained beyond reason – overstimulation is 100% a thing, and not being able to get away from it is extremely stressful on and exhausting for the body. That applies for the mind, too, actually. I have had too much experience with this from dance, the gym, and various other social situations. One thing I have truly enjoyed and loved about the quarantine lifestyle is that I do not have to be in or be missed from those environments. That seems to be going away again now… not so much a fan of it, though…

Man.

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Cold sleep

It is cold, and I feel it. From the air conditioner, not from outside. I go back and forth between shivering and being slightly miserable without shaking. There was no blanket down here for me to use, let alone a comforter. I found a throw upstairs, but it isn’t very heavy/warm. I likely will have to sleep fully clothed tonight.

And then some.

Glad I brought the thick wool socks for possible hiking (which almost definitely will not happen).

I am also very tired, and also sleepy, increasing, I believe, my sense of annoyance and stress.

Dear God, please help me sleep well tonight and awaken rested and comfortable tomorrow and the next day.

Especially considering that my body decided today was finally the day to start menstruating… what impeccably terrible timing. I think it is aiming to make a point, and I might be understanding that point: I need to take care of myself, no matter what others do or want to do.

And now, to dress and to sleep.

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Tomorrow

I’ll be flying in an airplane tomorrow. Suffice it to say I am nervous. I have always been a touch nervous with airline travel, for many reasons… luggage allowances, prohibited items, actual plane safety, being on time, being allowed on the flight, having a comfortable seating arrangement, having enough leg room… tomorrow shall be no different, but that it has an added piece of nerves: all of the unknowns around new requirements since everything closed down for COVID-19. So far as I can tell, the only requirement difference is that I must wear a mask the whole time. But that just seems so simple…, it is hard to believe that that is all. However, I certainly hope that that is all that is new.

Fingers crossed for safe and easy and comfortable travel this weekend, for me and for all travelers.

Post-a-day 2021