dance

I somehow started watching the show Dance Moms. It is a terrible show, of course. These folks are absurdly dramatic, righteous, and mean. And very much unnecessarily so.

So, it’s really quite sad to watch, and I make an effort not to pay too much attention and to keep the volume down throughout most of it (lots of yelling, you see). However, the dancing is so beautiful and makes me wish I could be back dancing again and doing dance I never even got to do… I just wish I could do it all now. However, the world I’ve there is not really set up to help adults learn new things – just kids.

Post-a-day 2023

Ballet

I went to a ballet class this morning. My friend has signed up her daughter, who recently turned three, for ballet classes at a studio in a nearby neighborhood. I had joined them to watch that class this week after school one day. While it was absolutely adorable and a total morale boost, it also made me want to do ballet classes myself.

I had only officially done a beginner series of six classes eight years ago, plus a private lesson and a single drop-in in an intermediate class after the series. I also had had a few beginner drop-in classes here and there years before that. Very little had stuck from those, though.

So, eight years after the beginner series, here I am, stepping into a class that is for middle- and high-school-students, but that is technically an open drop-in class for adults, too.

I was terrified, and I showed up anyway. This morning was certainly a morning filled with courage. I didn’t do amazingly – not at all. But I did do most of the stuff in the class. By the end of the floor work, we were doing some things I had not ever learned to do, so I was guessing and making it up as I went, and also stepping back to observe more before trying it out again. All in all, it was a good time had by me. I imagine the kids in the class were thrown by my presence, but I rolled with it happily. And the teacher made it clear that I was, in fact, invited back both for that class and for certain other ones, too. (I even asked if I could take the lower level classes, and she told me that I didn’t need to take them. So, though I was happy yet serious with my inquiry, she was, too. I apparently am functioning enough to stay in the class.) So, that was cool. Woohoo!

I look forward to improving and to doing better each class.

I certainly have things to work on before I go back, and I hope I can make that happen consistently, starting this week. Because I really want to go back and to do better by a lot each time. I truly enjoy the feeling of doing ballet right. It is such a good feeling. Not because it’s right, but because ballet itself truly just feels amazing to do.

God, thank you for this blessing and opportunity of today. Thank you for the dancing. Thank you for my own sense of humour and easy acceptance of my current levels with everything. Help me to honor you through practice and dancing. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

P.S. God, would you heal my grandma and my brothers’ dad, please? In your name, I pray. Amen.

Dancing

We went to a dance event tonight. It was a country event, but we came for the west coast swing finals part of it, and the social dancing after those events. My man and I did.

And it was awesome.

We danced with each other and with other people. I gave him a sort of mini lesson after we first went downstairs and he got a bit overwhelmed just by seeing everything. (Apparently he had spent the whole day being scared and nervous and trying to create reasons not to come because of that. I had kept asking him all day what was wrong and what was going on, since he was being so snippy and unkind toward me and stressed and all. He had only ever told me that he just needed to ‘get over it’ about each little thing.m, though he never really did… until we started dancing, that is.) He then asked me to dance in the main room before and after the competitions and awards, and he voluntarily sought out four other women and danced with them (always while I was out of the room, naturally). And he and I danced more and more, and I showed him more and more bits, and he got better and better. And it was awesome.

I had begun being comfortable with the idea that I likely would not get to do west coast swing with my husband, whoever he would be, because I never much liked the men who would frequent events and get involved in the typical social culture of dance events and all – read ‘lots of alcohol and sleeping around and being pompous’ – and found it unlikely I would meet my man at any event. And then this guy showed up. In our first night of knowing one another, he voluntarily offers up that he grew up doing a bit of ballroom for kids, and that his favorite dance was probably west coast swing. He’d only learned a bit, and it was all self-taught, but he loved it. And so, God blesses us…

Thank you, God, for this lovely opportunity. Thank you for bringing my man and me together. Thank you for this awesome step into the dance world for the both of us this weekend. Phew. Thank you. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Dance, dance, dance

We went dancing tonight. He attended a little lesson, then, as I had sent a photo of where I was to a friend of mine, we stuck around actually to dance for a while, because my friend wanted to join us. She brought me some shoes of hers that I could use to dance, as I only had really grippy tennis shoes or unsafe sandals with me (I had just intended to watch the lesson, then go home shortly thereafter.), and we all danced.

So, my friend and her dad and my man and I all had a jolly ole good time dancing tonight.

Thank you, God, for such a lovely and love-filled blessing. And thank you, especially, for this spectacular man. Help me always to express my love and gratitude to him, that he, at least, begin to grasp the immense blessing that he is in my life. Thank you. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Dance, dance, dance…?

Man, I Really miss dancing. I miss the experience of simultaneously expressing myself to music while working with another, and of feeling undeniably beautiful and sexy, womanly… Dancing is awesome, and I miss it! And, especially now that I am so wonderfully fit – and that I am no longer afraid to be a woman, to be powerful, to be desirable and sexy, to be noticed and seen – I want to find my new self-expression in dance.

Man… (The idea of this all came up tonight, because one of, I dare say, the world’s top partner dancers is a sort of buddy of mine, and he reached out this weekend to check in with me. We only just talked tonight, and only for a bit, but it was a fun blast from the dance world, though neither of us has been part of it since the first shutdown in early 2020. I would love to dance with him… As it happens, dancing with him always had me feeling my sexiest, he so beautifully honors his partner whenever dancing. Even when I felt un-womanly and not beautiful in general, I felt womanly and beautiful and desirable and wanted whenever dancing with him. [And no, not in a creeper or weird way. Just to be clear here…] I wonder how it would be now, dancing with him, now that I already do feel beautiful and woman and sexy and desirable as a whole…)

Post-a-day 2022

(Just barely!)

Reaping the spoils

There was a dance tonight. I chaperoned for it. I had a wonderful time. I got to be social yet not, dance around yet not, be chill, walk around, mingle, walk away from people, people watch, and enjoy the world around me.

And my students often were excited to see and greet me, which was wonderful, too.

It was lovely.

And then, at the end, I got to take home some flowers. That was baller, too. Oh, and a couple t-shirts for the school. Boom. Great night.

Of course, it is not well past 1:00am, and I’m only just about to get to fall asleep…, but, I believe, it was worth it.

Thank you, God and Universe for this opportunity and blessing.

Gratitude here

Post-a-day 2021

Dance, if you wanna

One of the most upsetting things in our society right now for me – one of the day-to-day things that really bugs me and kind of breaks my heart – is how much gender is used as a restrictor by so much of society.

I mentioned how I thought my nephew really would love learning and doing ballet and other dances, and I was met with a passive laugh and a certain, somewhat snarky comment to say that it never would happen, but what a cute idea. I was gobsmacked. The person didn’t even think I was saying it because I meant it. She actually thought I was just saying it passively, as opposed to my sharing something I genuinely believed and had hopes could happen.

Granted, my sister has very much played the gender toys game for her kids – pink and purses and baby-dolls are for girls, and blues and trucks and superheroes are for boys. However, dance is something amazing for any and all people to do, especially athletes. My sister is an athlete, and she can understand that benefit of dance especially. I think she might be willing to consider the idea of dance for my nephew, if it were presented appropriately and he showed interest in it openly.

Even that, though, has its own degree of upset and disappointment for me: that it has to be presented appropriately. I don’t just mean showing that dance is awesome, but showing that dance is so awesome that it is okay for both genders. Because I know, that likely would be part of it for her.

If I ever have children, no matter the gender of each and every, they all will do karate and dance and volleyball and all the fun, beautiful, beneficial stuff out there that we can find and/or create for them to do. Gender will have no value in the matter. It merely will determine which bathroom they use while at the activity.

Post-a-day 2021

^ Wrote that wrong at first again, but caught myself before submitting! Happy 2021, folks!

Dance (dance) revolution

Today, I went to a dance workshop (a workshop!) as an attendee follower – and I enjoyed it(!).

Once I got over the panic and stress and frustration that had built up and then practically exploded when all the semi-beginner dancers seemed to be waiting to attend the Not-at-all-for-beginners workshop, and I panicked that the competition guidelines for rankings were utterly superfluous nowadays, that is… fortunately, I got over all of that (and the timing was just off from when I understood the workshop to be happening).

And then, tonight, I danced… socially… at a kind of event… for the second time this month…

Total craziness, I know.

But whew…. I did enjoy it.

I am grateful for the opportunity given to me for this dancing today and tonight.

They both reminded me that I can do this, whatever version of this I want to do in regards to dance and my future.

Yes, I can do this. 🙂

Yay.

Post-a-day 2020

Friday Night

Usually spent with friends in bars or clubs, or at least hanging out at someone’s house or apartment, Friday night is a busy one for adults my age…

And yet, how do I spend it?

Mostly sitting on the floor in the corner of my bedroom, next to my phone (which is plugged into the wall), listening to an audiobook that I can’t seem to stop without immense struggle…

It is that good.

And yet, it is also rather intense and somewhat frightening at times, leaving me slightly paranoid at every sound I hear around me…

But it is oh, so good…

And I have no idea why I prefer an audiobook to going out dancing, especially when I had just said at the gym this evening that I must need to go dancing, since I’ve been dancing around to all the music at the gym lately…, but perhaps it is because I don’t have to put forth any effort for it, but dancing would require social interaction, driving, physical movement in dancing, and then also money…., and reading this book is free of monetary charge….

It takes only my time and my sense of safety and ease. 😛

Anyway…, I’m super tired, so I’m going to sleep now (the only reason I could get myself to turn off the book).

And then I can get up all the earlier to listen to more of the book before going to the gym (I know, I go to the gym a lot these days, but it is part of taking care of myself). 😛

Post-a-day 2020

Wow

I went dancing tonight.

And it was amazing.

And I met with friends I hadn’t seen in years.

And that was amazing, too.

And we all danced.

And my brother watched (and totally loved it! – Yay! -).

And it was a beautiful time, for which I am incredibly grateful.

And then my brother and I (and everyone else) headed home for the night.

And we got crammed into the train like sardines.

My brother wasn’t sure if we would make it on the train.

I told him it usually works out somehow.

I think he didn’t believe me.

His bulging eyes at the view when, not only did we make it onto the train, but so did another 20% of what had already gotten on before us after us, gave home away.

He started laughing, and it made me start laughing, and I could hardly breathe enough to catch my breath back – from being squeezed out every time another surge of people happened, and I was shoved, once again, into the pole in front of me, as I laughed so hard, I cried.

We took a selfie.

It was hilariously lovely.

And that was how we began my brother’s birthday, crammed in a train, laughing ridiculously.

😉

Post-a-day 2019