Tag: emotions

Going brown

Tonight was the first half of my brown belt test for American Karate.

I did, really, quite well. I hit well over the maximums on everything except sit-ups – because 76 sit-ups in two minutes, keeping the hands on the head is not easy, so I only got 60. We only needed 40 push-ups for maximums points. I got 62, and all with quite good form and pacing. We needed over 100 kicks in each category for max points… I had 118 as my lowest count. On some exercises, I even surpassed the kid who has been actively training for this for years. That was very surprising for me. And I surpassed my own scores in everything, from the time I had done a run-through of the test just for fun, months ago. I had no knowledge of my being in a path to take the test a year and a half sooner than expected. Not until three weeks ago, anyway.

I still need to learn the katas. I only was just exposed to two of them last week for the first time, though, I know the third one already. Then I also have to make my own kata, and perform it. I’m confident that that one will be rather easy for me, actually. So, I need to learn the two katas, really.

Otherwise, I will do everything else required for the test this coming Thursday night at class: running and a boatload of techniques. Then, we’ll practice the katas after that, and I’ll perform the katas, probably, one day next week.

Looking forward with gratitude to it all! Thank you, God and the Universe. I am grateful and delighted, and I am just the right kind of nervous. 😉

Post-a-day 2021

Whatever happened to movies?

Whatever happened to watching movies?

And I don’t mean simply in the theatre. I mean watching them period.

It feels like everyone my age and younger doesn’t watch films. They put on a film – or sometimes attend one in a theatre – , and then spend a handful of seconds or minutes here and there, all throughout the film, checking their phones, or giving their attention elsewhere entirely.

Many of them talk during the film, too, and not just at the music or quiet parts – when actors are in active dialogue.

Half the time, that all then leads to their missing some vital piece of the story or a character, they end up asking questions and talking over even more of the film and dialogue, or they just miss it all completely and have no idea that they missed anything at all.

I no longer wonder at my being given so many recommendations for terrible films – none of these people are even paying enough attention to know if the film is terrible or not. They only see snippets, in the first place, and most good films will seem boring, because they are missing all the wonderful parts that make a great film great.

But does this really surprise me much? I think not. I have experienced consciously for years a lack of people’s being present in life. The same person will tell me the same thing multiple times, as though it is important and new… I pay attention and am present in those conversations, and therefore could tell the story myself, in his or her own words, I’ve heard it so many times.

I’m growing tired of this. Conversations on repeat is exhausting, especially when they carry so much emotion on the telling side.

I watch a film to be an immersed observer of an alternate world for a short time, to experience life from another’s perspective. I do not watch it to fill the time between my comments, to keep me company because I am uncomfortable being with myself. Sure, I have put on a movie to keep me company before, but it is always something I know well, and I don’t talk all over it, even then. Just like I don’t talk all over others, when they are talking to me.

But, even in the cinema, people have their phones out, and seem to have no idea of their disregard for the story that is telling itself on the big screen up front. That is someone’s hard-worked art – a lot of someone’s’, truly. If people aren’t here to experience and honor the set, why bother? They can look at their phones at home or anywhere else, talk with their friends (and over their friends) anywhere else. But either be here or be there – do not pretend you are in either place, if you will not be there fully. Pick a place, and be present there, fully. Period. It is a disservice to all creation to do any less.

Post-a-day 2021

Trippin’?

I am taking a trip tomorrow, and very early on the morning. I intend to be at the airport at 5:00am. So, I need to leave the house about 15-20 minutes earlier than I usually do, when I go to the gym.

I am going somewhere entirely new for me, somewhere I have never been. I am staying with someone I barely know and whose habits and way of living are almost entirely unknown to me. The person is a male dentist and homosexual, so I think the two bode well for a clean living space. (That and the fact that I saw a photo of him on his bathroom, showing me an outfit once, and the bathroom was tidy and seemed clean.) However, I do not know for sure.

I do not know the specific plans for the days and evenings and nights. I think we are supposed to be going out at some point, even, to hang and be social and hear music and dance around… he even has a date for me…

I don’t know what or how we will be eating, or when. I don’t know when he goes to bed or wakes each day, or what his intended times are for this trip.

I’m not sure he has any idea of my regular sleep schedule…

And I scheduled this trip all of a sudden one day, when Southwest was having a sale. I considered it briefly, then reached out the next day and booked the flight.

Who on Earth planned this trip? Certainly not the Hannah I know… She is much too cautious to do such a thing without having a better understanding of details on all fronts.

Dear God and Universe, please, help me to have a safe, wonderful, fulfilling trip this weekend. Gratitude and love abound in me – help me to share them with the world around me this weekend, please.

Amen.

Post-a-day 2021

Breathing

Well, some stuff happened, some stuff shifted, and some stuff was removed entirely. And, you know, I feel loads better already. I’ve gotten myself more out of my head in the first place, and it helped even further to have everything happen as it did today to shuffle things around. I put things into place today to help me prepare for some of the more stressful things over which I have control, and that has been extremely helpful. My brain is very tired right now, though, after so much having happened today, and I’m struggling to make sense even of these thoughts right now… alas, I shall sleep… I am grateful I set things up to get me to bed early enough for a decent night of rest.

Post-a-day 2021

Headspace

I have gotten very, very in my head lately. It is just about time for me to allow it all to flow freely outward, to release the tidal wave that has been building, to be transformed into a mere splash as its energy dissipates in the release.

Many things are about to happen. As the dog in the book said today, this often means struggle for us humans. Living fully now can be extremely difficult, when we are expecting something big or something in the near future. I have multiple big things in the very near future right now. I want to be here for all of them…, which means I want to be here now, too. I will be with them when it is time to be with them. And now is not their time.

So…, hello, now. 😉

Post-a-day 2021

Teehee

I got to see the boy again today, doing more amazing gymnastics with such grace and fun… and yes, the little girl in me jumped with joy. The woman in me was practically rolling around on the ground, laughing, but also fully appreciated the reasons for the little girl crush – that boy can gym. There’s no doubt about that!

Post-a-day 2021

Mastery

I have a feeling that, whenever someone has hit the level of mastery in something, especially a sport, it is extremely attractive and, even, sexy to o serve that individual practicing that activity, showing that level of mastery.

I watched athletes today, and the younger ones were cute in their learned skills. But the older, much experienced ones, were something to behold. The little girl in me couldn’t seem to decide where her crush loyalties lay, her admiration was spread amongst all the masters. And they were obvious, the masters. They were the ones who didn’t look like they were doing something difficult at all, whenever they were actually doing it, yet they did it with such grace and ease, my jaw wanted to drop in awe.

Yes, mastery is attractive… very attractive.

Post-a-day 2021

It’s coming…

Harry Potter Day, as it was Harry Potter’s birthday and the beginning of almost every book, is tomorrow, 31 July. I suppose he would be…, well, I don’t know. The first book was released 26 June of 1997 in the UK. Harry turns 11 at the beginning of that book (after the intro bits, that is). Worth each book, he was a year older, but the books didn’t release each year… so, based on the release of the first book, we could say that Harry would be 35 now… However, at the end of the last book, he’s already all grown up and all, so that messes with that completely.

But the series is now over 24 years old…

So, let’s put it this way: This 31 July will be the 25th opportunity for the world to celebrate Harry Potter’s birthday. Let’s just enjoy that, then, shall we? 😉

Happy 25th birthday, Harry.

Post-a-day 2021