Tag: house

Accomplishments come in many forms

Today, I was mostly busy tidying, and it felt really good. I’ve been so focused on doing my course lately – so that I can get a job and start earning money and saving money, so that my man can do the training he needs to pursue a job as a pilot instead of his current job – that I’ve felt bad anytime I’ve wanted to tidy instead. Even tidying in the evening for a bit has felt unfair, somehow, not to mention exhausting after a day filled with working hard mentally and avoiding thinking about how much I want to tidy the house.

Today, for whatever reason, I just chose to let it all go and to do the tidying I desperately wanted to do.

And I’m so glad I did it that way. It made all the difference. And I even went and coded a little teensy bit just before bed, which was satisfying in its own way, since it wasn’t required (by me) today, yet I did it anyway.

I just feel so… accomplished… after today. Yeah. My whole body viscerally feels the sense of accomplishment from today, and it is awesome. I am incredibly grateful.

Tomorrow, I genuinely want to do more coding work, but I still want to have a day similar to today in terms of tidying. I have a few little things I want to finish up and one bigger project involving sorting through and creating a storing method for all the bathroom stuff (for both bathrooms, really). A third of it is in the living room, a third is split between the bedroom and the other bathroom, and the final third is sitting in the guest room right now. I am getting sick of seeing all that stuff around and having to avoid using this or that because it’s too much of a hassle to go pull out. We have our bathroom vanity and drawers put together now, so I can go ahead and sort everything out for actual everyday storage. Time to find places for everything, at last.

Oh… I also have a ton of laundry to fold. Ugh. Hahaha. Hey, perhaps my man will decide to lend a hand there and learn how to fold his different clothes so they all store properly in his drawers. That would be cool. However, the likelihood is rather slim, so I won’t hope too hard on it. Rather, I’ll hope plenty hard in it; I just won’t expect it actually to happen. That’s the one. 😛

Anyway, off to sleep now, way later than wanted. But much was accomplished today. Much.

Thank you, God. Your will be done. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Sleep, please

Getting things done, but being a night owl doesn’t help improve my sleep schedule when I have things to do. Lots needs to happen … correction: There are lots of things I want to happen before Sunday, for the party (that may or may not happen, depending on the weather). I’m thinking they won’t be done to the desired degree. However, I think I’m okay with that. I just want to have a nice time in celebration of this life I am blessed to live. However, given that certain people likely to attend will not be easy peasy about a house that doesn’t seem to be put together seemingly perfectly, I now find myself aiming to get some bigger things done. Yes, the bedroom will be in no better shape than it is right now, laundry to be done or folded or sorted into where it will be stored for real and all… and there might even be some more in here, too. Plus, we likely still won’t have a functioning sink in our bathroom, which doesn’t make things any easier. However, my man and I both have loads we want to get done that is outside the bedroom and that will be seen.

What all will we get done and how? Dunno. But we shall see.

Post-a-day 2023

Gas

Well, looks like the gas’s being out will be another few days at the least, and will cost use a minimum of a thousand dollars. Ugh. God, please, give us the strength to handle all of this with grace and ease. Thank you for my successful adapted shower tonight. Help us to eat healthily, even without our normal means of cooking. Help me to find fulfilling and paying work. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Zzzzzzz

You know, I almost got to bed at a decent hour tonight. But then, of course, one thing came up, and it took forever to get done, and then I was just tired but determined still to get some more things handled that I’d already intended to handle before bed tonight. And so, here I am after 12:30 already, still not asleep. Thank you, God, that I am in my way to sleep, though! And thank you for the awesome progress! This house is truly starting to feel like a home. Amen!

Post-a-day 2022

Moving on up

And so it is that the bedroom feels much more like a bedroom now. Not that it didn’t before feel like a bedroom, but that it now feels like a bedroom that could be my bedroom… one in which I actually could want to live and sleep and dress and all. No, it certainly isn’t complete, of course, but the bulky furniture is swapped out for things that fit much better and leave loads more space around the bed; the dark shag rug is gone; and the floors and baseboards have all been wonderfully cleaned. It is an awesome move for today, and I am incredibly grateful to have gotten it all done. Now, I am absurdly wiped and must sleep. Asap. Goodnight.

Post-a-day 2022

Not mine

I am growing increasingly fond of my own home. I say this cautiously, as I have a tendency to avoid the world outside, so to speak, when I reach that intense panic point of my OCD. However, that is not the same experience as what I am currently discovering and referencing. This current experience is one of noticing that I enjoy being in my own home, and that I prefer it to staying in other people’s homes (like my mother’s or my aunt’s house). I am not afraid of staying elsewhere or going elsewhere – there is no fear or overall stress involved in this experience. It is ease and delight that guide this experience for me, instead of agoraphobia or any other phobia. I just enjoy being in my own home.

I like tidying at home, or rearranging furniture, or just plain lying on my floor. I like having a space where I am surrounded by intentionally selected items, all of which, to some degree or other, bring me joy. And not, I have not yet completed the KonMari method. But, just from what I have done already, I can feel the space as one in which I like to spend my time. The only reasons I really even go to the common areas downstairs are because 1)that’s where the bathroom is, 2)that’s where the kitchen is, 3)my barbell just wouldn’t work on the third floor of an old house, and 4)the daytime lighting is spectacular down there. Otherwise, I’m not sure I ever would bother. And, on many days where I get to stay home, I don’t. I’ll spend almost the entire day up in my space. I supposed the only down side to this is that it is a lot harder to get myself outdoors when outdoors is neither very visible nor very accessible, three floors below. But I have been working on that lately.

Anyway, that’s just something I’ve been noticing tonight. I think there is an important balance between loving what I have around me and being attached to what I have around me. I have actively pursued appreciating the convenience of my own things while allowing other things to be what I use, and I feel that this has benefitted me greatly (as opposed to being upset at not having my own something or other, I make it work with what is available to me where I am, and acknowledge that, while my stuff would have been great, the current stuff will suffice for now).

At that, I’m off to bed in not my bed in not my house. I hope I sleep amazingly tonight and awaken rested and blessed with health, vitality, and energy for the day.

Post-a-day 2020

Home is where we are at ease

I guess one of the measures of knowing we feel truly at home somewhere is when we feel any sense of annoyance at having to stay the night away from that somewhere. My mom and I have to go out of town for the day tomorrow, and we are leaving around seven AM, so she convinced me to come stay at her house to get. It felt absurd to drive separately, and I didn’t want to deal with her constant complaints at ha but to drive an extra fifteen minutes to pick me up and drop me off on the way. (So, instead, I drove half an hour out here, to ride with her tomorrow an extra fifteen to twenty minutes each way, and then to drive myself the half hour home afterward… right?! And I’m the one who lives in the “inconvenient” place in town… closer to everything…)

Anyway, so I’m at my mom’s house… and I really just wish I were at home, in my own space and my own bed with my own decorations and systems and energy. I had a time this summer where I was very uncomfortable being alone at my place. This is the first time since then that I have noticed a distinct feeling of annoyance and disdain for having to stay at my mom’s instead of my place. Her house was my safe refuge before. Now, my space is my safe space, my oasis of calm, where I feel I belong.

And that is a very beautiful thing to discover for myself. I am extremely grateful.

Post-a-day 2020

Time flies

I just realized that this order expires this coming Thursday… who would have thought I would long to be forced to stay at home?

I have been so delightfully productive with my time, and so emotionally healthy because of it all lately…, I want to keep it up a while longer, I believe.

I have more to accomplish before I am ready to release myself on the normal world again.

At the very least, I suppose I had better get to work on a few specific things already this weekend, then, if I want to be sure they’re handled before outing life begins anew…

Mmhmm…

Post-a-day 2020

A brief note to myself

Dear Hannah,

You’re right – you will be okay… you will make it through all of this, and be the better for it, and even more so than you currently can imagine.

You can do it.

And it’s okay to be scared a bit, too, and to cry a lot… totally part of the whole process of turning into the person you want to be. 😉

Peace and Love be unto, from, and within you

Hannah of the future

Post-a-day 2019