Tag: life

Ce soir…

L’opéra, l’opéra, l’opéra at last. After nearly a two-year delay, Houston Grand Opera has returned to the stage officially, and we attended our first show tonight. It was lovely. Also, it was Carmen, and I love the music from Carmen. Sure, the story and lyrics are still totally typical dramatic and repetitive opera, but, goodness, that music is especially spectacular. I’m a big fan. (And I had a fan that I used during the performance, when it was a tad too warm early on. Then Carmen kept pulling out fans and using them herself. However, hers were used very much in a sultry, seductive way, and mine was merely used to cool my face and neck.)

Thank you, Georges Bizet, for this wonderful opera whose success you never got to see or know (He died only three months after its debut, and the reviews were not so great at the time.).

And thank you, God, for this opportunity in my life, and this gift to the world.

Post-a-day 2021

Forgiveness being given*

The prayer says, “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who trespass against us…” I’m currently working on the part of, ‘even if I am unaware of my wrongdoing, or even if I am not willing or wanting to ask for forgiveness, do I still hope that God would forgive me to the point of loving me actively?’ In which case, I have a dilemma before me as to the extent of the forgiveness I offer to others in my life, especially regarding the individual who abused me. ‘Where do I go from here?’ has been the question in my head all day. I do not presently have an answer, but I know it is something I must write and talk out, for it wants sorting. I do not want to stop in justification. I want to learn to forgive as I wish God to forgive me. But this will take an inquiry on what forgiveness is, I suppose, just to begin.

*So, is it something we give forth, then?

Post-a-day 2021

Happy Halloween

Well, I allowed them to present about Halloween in class, and play the darn song…, and I have since had it repeating nonstop in my head. I know all the words well now, and can even play the song on ukulele… I’m planning to play it on my last day with them as a parting gift. I suspect that they will go wild… I await with extreme delight and anticipation. 😛

Also, I was Ariel on the beach today, my costume. It was spectacular. I even put Sebastian hanging on one of the ropes. I considered carrying around a fork, just to help people out with context, even though she didn’t have a fork in that outfit. But I didn’t do it – the costume as for me, and I enjoyed it thoroughly as it was, no fork, true to the series of events. The few people who realized I wasn’t just terrible at dressing in a toga – but who even would wear a yoga so dreadfully, really?!! – also were extremely delighted.

Post-a-day 2021

Vulnerability

Well, I was shut down and crushed in one area this week. But then I was praised and respected in another. The boys – I suppose they are technically men, though their brains, I think, are not fully developed [not being by mean here – that’s a real thing] yet – officially requested to be my friends. I am to change the group chat name from ‘“Buddies”’ to something with “friends” in it, whenever I consider them to be friends of mine, instead of just acquaintances and buddies. And yes, the word buddies is in quotes in the actual name. No, I did not do that myself. 😛

Anyway, they expressed the need for vulnerability in friendships, and so I offered up a good chunk of that in our group chat, after our adventures together tonight, and I shared what I had written about the abuse I experienced in college.

We shall see what happens…

Post-a-day 2021

Alas… a lass

Little girl in me is crushed – fairly certain he’s in a relationship. 😭😭😭
Correction: I think he is, and that hurts as much as being fairly certain.
Ugh… I supise it isn’t actually that big of a deal. However, it is causing me to have to deal with a lot of negative emotions and engrained thoughts around the idea of my not being good enough, not worth it. If I really were good enough, they wouldn’t reject me, right? That’s the main feeling today. Of course, part of me still hopes that what I discovered today was misinterpreted (by me, of course). However, allowing the large possibility of my having interpreted accurately, there is a part of me that is grateful to God for having shown it to me today. I only just spoke openly about my interest to anyone yesterday, and this happenstance felt like the world’s reply, in a way. Because many things kept going oddly, in order for me to end up exactly where I was when I was there, and for me to see exactly what I saw. 30 seconds difference, even, could have shown me something entirely different. But the Universe wanted me there at that exact moment, and so I was. Now, I must let go and let God – it will be all revealed in time, as is needed for my life to be the beautiful blessing that I am here to create with God and the Universe. Dearest cosmos, please, help me to release this pain.
And God and Universe, thank you.
Post-a-day 2021

Shogūn

Alas, the adventure has begun: I am taking on reading the novel Shogūn (technically pronounced as ‘show goon’, but usually pronounced as ‘show gun’ in English) by James Clavell. Perhaps, after I finish the 1100+ pages (or 65 audiobook tracks), I might watch the show about which I have heard much in my life (mostly from my mother).

Stories of a gaijin in Japan, here I come!

Post-a-day 2021

Crosswords

I finally made it happen tonight, and I got back into doing crossword puzzles. Yippee!

I messaged the buddy who got me into them in the first place, and we both got on Zoom to do the e-puzzle for the LA Times online together. Started with a Monday, because it has been a while for both of us. Then we jumped to today’s puzzle, a Wednesday, and had a grande ole time. It feels good to be a nerd, and it feels really good to be a nerd with someone else doing the same thing with me.

I look forward to our next puzzle(s) together in the very near future!

P.S. Happy feast day of St. Jude, October 28!! He’s my confirmation Saint.

Post-a-day 2021

Halloween

I dressed as a student in uniform today for the Halloween dress-up day. It absolutely threw loads of people off all day long. It was wonderful.

Remember to stay in touch with your silly side, folks, and embrace the fun in life. We have to be strong and withstand loads, but it all just flows so much better when we remain holistically whole, and we remember to play.

Post-a-day 2021

RKBS and R

It seems like every time we do a lot of Russian kettle bell swings in a week at the gym, I end up with a really sore lower back, and it clamps up on pain unexpectedly at times when I bend over, though not every time, of course. Am I perhaps doing them incorrectly? The coaches and owner always approve of my technique and movement. I always check the boxes mentally in what muscles are tight when and whatnot. And they always feel great when doing them. And yet I end up really sore a few days later. Perhaps it is merely that I am doing them right, and so it is easy in the moment for me to do loads of them. Only later do I discover how much work I really did… not sure yet.

At the very least, my pursuit of the Russian language is feeling much better than my body is regarding the Russian kettle bell swings. This pursuit has proven to be surprising, as well, but it is surprisingly fun and delightfully satisfying. No real pains with that bit of Russian. 😛

Post-a-day 2021