Tonight, I keep it extremely short:
Lin-Manuel Miranda, I thank you – you have given the world such wonder and love and beautiful creativity and expression, and we, the people, are grateful. 😉
And for all of it – you are a gift, and you have shared your treasure with the world at large… for that, and for following your passion and love, you have helped to make the world a better place on both a personal and a global level.
Thank you.
Post-a-day 2020
And I’ll be ready 🙂
…
Do you ever start to feel like you might not be good enough for something, or that something you love just isn’t practical enough, and so you might just need to give it up…?
I’ve been feeling that lately.
Yet tomorrow – I can hardly quell the rising butterflies of delight within my chest and lower rib cage at the thought of tomorrow – I will be doing something that is reminding me of exactly why I started doing this in the first place… I do this, because I love lively moments of life, and lovely perspectives within life…, and I find them worth sharing, as far and as wide as is possible.
And it doesn’t matter if I don’t have the fanciest or greatest quality of equipment – what matters is that I see it, and I use that ability to be able to share and forward the love to others.
Even if it isn’t in perfect of perfect focus and lighting and blah-blah-blah… 🙂
And it’s nice to be reminded of that…
Because I am super excited about tomorrow. 🙂
Post-a-day 2020
I went to an outlet mall today (filled with almost no one, actually), to go specifically to Lululemon for some sports gear.
You see, the bras I have from there are spectacular.
But my workout have been so good this past year that, well, they don’t fit anymore… they are too big on me.
So, I needed to get some new sports bras, and I wanted to get good quality for something like that, that I would use so often.
So, we go to Lululemon, and sign up on the digital waitlist… the wait is estimated at two hours, because so few people are allowed in the store at once, right?
Right.
Like at certain busy restaurants and eateries, we were to receive a text message when an estimated ten to 15 minutes remained in our wait time, and it would say this and that we should return to the store now.
Unlike these restaurants and eateries, we also received a link that we could refresh at will in order to see where our party was “in line”.
We started at spot number thirty.
We walked around outside a long while – around 8,000 steps worth – before heading back toward the store (where we were parked), and verifying that we still were only around 9th in line.
The doorman told us that, since it was “parties” and not just individuals “in line”, we had plenty of time to go get the ice cream we were considering.
So, we drove to HEB, I did some quick research as to why I couldn’t find a childhood favorite anymore, and I got a very close alternative to it.
We then enjoyed our treats back in the car, and received our text message notification about 45 seconds after pulling into a parking space back at Lululemon.
I then had a blast in the store, and my friend, though not finding anything she was wanting inside the store, found a delightful time outside the store, practicing her handstands, and eventually being joined by one of the store’s staff – perhaps he was on his break? – to share in the doing of handstands, and to display free handstand push-ups (they are bomb, and it is a pleasure to witness anyone doing these successfully)(!).
We headed home after a good while, both of us quite satisfied, both in mind and in belly.
The irony?
If you missed it, the irony was that I was getting new sportswear, because I’d released so much weight/fat from my body through my workouts and healthy eating…, yet I went and had what was likely an extremely high-calorie tub of ice cream while waiting to purchase said new sportswear… 😛
But I didn’t finish it, so, that is good, and it is now in the freezer here, finding a new version of itself after having melted. 😀
Post-a-day 2020
Some miserable stuff went down today, where one party was absolutely irresponsible regarding its actions and how they affected those immediately involved in the situation, and that party also acted from an irrational and ego-centered place of anger and misplaced hurt.
Naturally, I was the party who found itself utterly unable to breathe normally, was gasping for breath through tears and a fully red and wet face, and who almost actually puked several times from the intense crying… it was very rough and very rough.
But why I share about this is because of one part of one party’s exchange with me…
She said, “I wish you could un-hear all of it.”
I asked her, “Is that what you recommend? That I un-hear it, if I can?”
“Yes.”
And something about that idea was beautiful to me…
What’s more, now, hours later, I’m doing rather well, allowing my psyche – is that who handles these things? – to release the words from my memory, and free me from their harsh, un-loving attack that hit so hard and hurt so much at the time of their issue.
It is, basically, the opposite of going over a past conversation in my head continuously, analyzing it over and over again… I, instead, allow myself to let it go, and to focus on the love I received from the party who wished me the ability to un-hear such mean reaction… I have been able to embrace the love of the scenario, and to release the rest…
Just as my tears and intense sobs released something powerful of their own – my eyes are actually still tingling, though they have been dry for hours – and my body relaxed at the rubbing of my back and the cool water in my mouth and throat, so my mind has been allowing the bad to release itself slowly but surely, and the love to take hold and envelope the mind.
Anyway… please, remember to love, okay? A threat of any kind can go much further for the person receiving it than we might ever imagine… please, be kind and act with love… eve if that only means that you pause before responding, so that you do not shoot out fear or anger as the immediate response, but you can respond with composure instead… and, therefore and ultimately, with love.
Sending love to you all tonight especially. 😉 May you love yourself truly, such that you are able to learn to love the world around you, no matter who is there in it.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can totally make me cry hard core for a while… whatever the case, though, be is sticks or stones or threats or poems, I shall heal, and I will continue to love myself, and, thereby, the world, too. 😉
Post-a-day 2020
The thing is: At any given moment, there are an infinite number of possibilities as to what could happen next.
Our futures aren’t set in stone.
Sure, there are several paths that are the more likely and most likely and almost definite next moves, based on our past behaviors and ways of thinking and all…
But that doesn’t mean they are the only possibilities, the only options…
All the others are still out there, in every moment – any given moment still could go any direction, despite what came before it.
And we get to choose that next move…
No matter what, anything is possible.
And I think it is important to remember that.
Even if we fall into the deepest despair in life, we can still choose to make a different move from those “most likely” and “almost definite” moves… we can choose whatever we like.
Anything is possible, and the limit is only that of our imagination.
So, let’s get creative, and start expanding our move vocabulary. 🙂
Post-a-day 2020
I am wearing my Tuesday underwear tonight, post-shower and in my pjs.
I have discovered that my days-of-the-week underwear are something to the effect of ‘my power underwear’.
It isn’t that they are actually my power underwear, but that they carry a similar space and experience as power underwear might carry.
(My true power panties are actually some of my other style that I typically would wear for being out in the world… and they even kind of rotate around every so often, which ones are the true power ones that fill me with confidence as a woman…)
When I wear the days-of-the-week panties, I am excited and delighted; I have fun as child does; I am released of the big stresses in my life, and reminded instead of the little things that really matter most; I get to laugh inwardly at memories I have from them; and I get to enjoy the fact that I typically wear them not on their listed days, and sometimes intentionally so… basically, I feel good in them.
But they also aren’t underwear that I would wear out in public, typically.
Not that we wear any underwear out while in public, but that I wear them while I am out in public… anyway…
They are more so underwear for myself and for me time… my public underwear are all silky smooth, the no-show and seamless kind… these guys are usually for when it won’t matter about panty lines, because I won’t be around anybody else, and so they don’t matter… and I get to enjoy my days of the week all to myself.
So, yeah… they make me feel like a kid and they heal my adult heart ever so slightly whenever I wear them. 🙂
Good thing I have on Tuesday tonight – I’ve been needing some love and healing, now that I’m back home, in the midst of whatever this all is right now.
Siggggghhhhhhhhhh…..
Post-a-day 2020
Some days, without explanation or understanding, I find myself wanting just to curl up on my side, snuggle in my arms and elbows, with no sheets over me, and fall asleep with the light still on.
I think it tends to happen on nights that preceded days to which I am not exactly looking forward…, but that’s not for sure… just a guess, at this point, but a decently educated one, anyway.
Well, getting even less sleep won’t help me here, so I’ll get to sleep, instead of avoiding it, and in a way that I know I’ll be actually able to fall asleep and stay asleep comfortably (as opposed to waking up all achy after a short while, because I wasn’t actually very comfortable in that sideways ball).
God, guide my day tomorrow, please, that I live love and joy, and I be happy, healthy, holy… Amen. ❤
Post-a-day 2020
You know how people have a tendency to disappear for a while from a friendship, when they start dating someone?
I, myself, did it once in high school (and promptly learned that it is not worth it and that I’ll not do it again…, I had been at the other extreme the time before then, spending so much time with the friend and too little with the boyfriend, that I lost the boyfriend!), and it took a long time for me not to feel bad about it regarding the friend that I almost lost.
Anyway, so I think it happens rather regularly in people’s lives, right?
We probably all know someone or many someones who have done it.
But have you ever had two friends doe it at once, because they start dating one another?
I had that happen several years ago… I was extremely excited just these two friends from different parts of my life had met and were dating one another.
But they slowly began to disappear from my life… now, the two are married and about to have a baby, and I don’t remember the last time we talked or even messaged one another… it’s been almost as long as their relationship, really.
Slowly, but surely, they each disappeared from the friendships they had held with me, and I now feel like I barely know either one of them.
And, while I miss them, I miss them from before they got together… who they are now as a couple is a unit with which I can’t seem to connect… and so I don’t actually find myself wanting to spend any time with them nowadays… they aren’t the same individual fiends I loved having in my life… as it goes with people’s getting together, they are different from before… and I don’t exactly like them now.
I don’t dislike them, I believe… but I definitely don’t like them.
And I am still undetermined as to whether it is how they actually are now, or if it is more how they simultaneously abandoned me and our friendships… I am thinking that it is both, approximately a 60/40 split, respectively.
Anyway… odd how that came to mind tonight… hmm…
Post-a-day 2020
Always leave them wanting more…
That’s what I’ve heard so much in life.
Today, I heard it in my mind in the context of my departure tomorrow morning from Wisconsin… I didn’t feel ready to leave yet, everything has been going so well.
However, I saw that I would prefer leaving while the going is still good, instead of leaving when it has spoiled…
Interesting to consider…
Because, do we need to do this with all things in life, move on while we’re in the midst of awesome?
Or is it only with the things where we already know that moving on will need to happen?
I shall consider…
Post-a-day 2020
I was planning to get a lot done on my computer while up here… When my brother was working during the day for his job, I was going to make my job be to do a few specific things on my computer, most notably writing, and secondarily photography stuff.
I have done minimal writing, and no photography organizing while up here.
I haven’t even gone through the photos that I’ve done while up here…
I guess, I have just been busy taking advantage of being here versus anywhere else… versus home, mostly.
I have exercised with workouts and with just doing various outdoor activities, and often multiple times a day… today, I spent 18,500 steps on my hike at the park, followed by a Hard workout at the gym… when I only had 3,700 steps Tuesday evening for the day so far, it was because we had gone so hard with the outdoor activities all the long weekend long, and had genuinely had to Take A Break, and just lounge around the house for the day.
We’ve been doing a lot outside, and it has been very good for me.
At first, I was so wiped out from the combo of all my already-present life stresses and the added menstruation, I could barely do anything physical or liking to exercise… I could sit on a stationary bicycle and pedal casually, rolling out my leg muscles both before and afterward…, and that was it.
Since those first few days, however, the menstruation has finished, and the activities outdoors have exploded… energy demands have been high, and energy has been in high supply – aka it has been awesome.
Tomorrow is my last full day here, so I shall sleep now, so that I can actually get up tomorrow(!).
Goodnight, World and world at large!
*Bunny
(Think Duracell…)
P.S. That workout this afternoon was an approximate 600 calories burned, based on the fitness tracker my brother has… just for a frame of reference for these workouts that we do… hashtag not easy. 😛
Post-a-day 2020
hannah ananas 