Well, today was interesting. Not because of what I did, but how I felt about what I did, both while doing it and now, at the end of the day.
You see, I woke up around six this morning, and discovered after a bit that I definitely wasn’t going back to sleep. There had been a Romeo & Juliet film I’d been interested in seeing, but had determined not to watch last night. So, I pulled it up and started it. After the marriage, though, when the scene began that was basically guaranteed to end with Romeo’s cousin dying – T was a jerk, in my opinion, so I never seemed to mind so much about him – I was done. It was cute, but I was over the production, and not interested in watching the rest of the sad story in such an un-intriguing presentation.
Scrolling through quickly to find something else to keep me company as I prepared possibly to fall back asleep after a while, I came across the show Smash. I’ve seen the preview for it every time I’ve watched the Burlesque dvd (the one with Christina Aguilera), and have been longing to watch the show ever since that first time. It’s a story all about these people in NYC creating a musical focused around Marylin Monroe.
Suffice it to say that I was sucked in. AND there have been several surprised members of the cast, whom I know from other films or stage productions (e.g. Jack Davenport [Commodore Norrington] and Leslie Odom, Jr. [Aaron Burr, sir]). That has been amazing, along with the show itself being well written and well directed and produced, and the songs and voices are fabulous. I’m a huge fan of this show. And, in case you didn’t know, I’m not a huge fan of almost any shows.
So, I watched this show four about four hours this morning, at which point I joined my mom in her vehicle – mine is having its tires replaced – and dropped her off at work, before going to Costco. There, I loaded up on groceries – I know, but it’s actually fabulous for groceries – and then got myself a slice of pepperoni pizza to celebrate a belated pepperoni pizza day from this week, as well as a hot dog, which came with a free fountain drink. So, I got some ice and a bit of Sierra Mist, and then filled the rest of the cup with Pepsi (not many options, really).
After I unloaded the groceries from the cart into the car, I sat in the car and dove in… and that pizza and hot dog and soda were one of the most satisfying meals I have had in quite a while. As my mom said, it was an “opioid survival mechanism”, and I knew it, but I didn’t mind it at all. I’ve been managing my calories lately, for positive health purposes (of course! I’ve actually had a really beautiful development in everything with my food lately, and I’ve been excited to be taking such better care of myself… anyway…), and I was starting to feel that I’d been just a bit lower on my intake than I wanted to be the past couple or few days, so I understood completely my sudden cravings for high-calorie, meat-packed food.
Two meals and about 1500 calories later, I was utterly satisfied, and times two.
I then got my mom’s car back to her and got back home, whereupon I continued watching Smash, eventually ate a banana and sipped some orange juice to take my evening supplements, showered, and then went right back to the show. Finally, when an episode ended just after midnight, and on a high note for me, I closed it up fo rate night. I have to be awake and functioning too early tomorrow to be staying up any later.
So, it may seem that the only “good” part of my day was the grocery shopping. However, I truly think and believe that my entire day today was really great. Well, my actions today. Falling down the stairs was totally not cool, but I’m grateful I was turned just enough to land exactly on the meaty part of my left rear cheek – it hurt, and a lot, but it was the most forgiving spot the stair could have picked to make first contact with my body (before sliding me down a ways). Anyway, this show-watching and pizza- and hotdog-eating day of mine was actually really great for me. I’ve been actively working on myself in a lot of ways, several of which are rather newer approaches and such… and it hasn’t been easy. And today was possibly the first time that I was genuinely okay not to do…. loads of stuff… not to be super productive. It might have been the first time that I allowed myself to take it delightfully easy physically and mentally for the day, and I didn’t stress about it. I didn’t even listen to an audiobook today, though I had several chances. I was glad for it. And I was grateful for it.
And I still am. 🙂
P.S. I especially enjoyed the part where one character is talking about how he staked out all night to get tickets to see RENT on Broadway in 1996, and he is saying it to Leslie Odom, Jr.’s character. For those who don’t understand why this is particularly silly or ironic and enjoyable, Leslie Odom, Jr. joined that production in 1998. Fun fact. 😀