Tag: butt

Potato drama

So, hemorrhoids… prepare yourself now, or leave now, because onward we go!

I have hemorrhoids. I used to have them off and on, usually very clearly tied to stress and to sitting rarely on hard surfaces. As soon as I chilled out a bit or spent more time on chairs and less time sitting on the bed, they would pop back in like they had never come out in the first place.

However, for the past couple years now, I have HS them sticking out consistently. They improve and get worse off and on, but they haven’t gone away completely in at least two years, almost three now.

I mentioned it to the chiropractor the other day, just asking if she knew anything about them and if there were, perhaps, some connection to the other stuff going on with my body that could help me heal them. What she said actually surprised me.

What did she say? Well, she said, ‘You know there’s a natural cure for that?’

Uhm, no, I did not. If I had known, I most likely would have tried it by now. Haha

So, she then proceeds to tell me that potatoes have these healing enzymes that help to heal skin – never knew about that either – that also, supposedly, help to heal the end of the intestine’s development of hemorrhoids.

And so, I was prescribed a pure potato suppository. Just a tiny bit, peeled, not even the size of my pinky nail, but a potato suppository.

Yikes.

Naturally, I had to warm up to the idea for several days, as with just about everything else. Then, I went and bought a bag of organic potatoes – no need not to do organic when the whole point it for my body to absorb everything in the thing! – and did my first suppository.

Yes, it was stressful and I was very uneasy and my inner bum felt super weird for about twenty minutes while it adjusted and resettled on the inside. Then I was super stressed the next morning when I couldn’t seem to have a regular BM, and all I wanted to do was to be able to poo and get this potato piece out of me. Finally, my body decided it was truly ready, and not just faking it anymore, and the potato and all the rest exited my system, to my great emotional relief.

The next potato was to be two nights later. I did it. We had a similar experience with the morning bowel movement not happening at the regular time. Finally, after belly aches for hours, it all came out around midday.

The thing is, the previous morning, all had been normal, timing and all. The following morning, too, all was normal. So, I decided I needed to have a rest from stressing all morning while at school, and wait for the weekend for the next one.

The two I had already done, coincidentally, already had made a huge difference in my hemorrhoids. The size was down by half, at least.

But my body does not like to let go of these potato pieces. So, I waited for the weekend for the next one… and then I forgot. I remembered after I had already showered and gotten ready for bed, at which point, I couldn’t bring myself to go cut up the potato and deal with the whole process of getting it in and all that emotional stress involved… I still have OCD, mind you. Yes, it has improved massively. But I still have a very strong dislike of anything associated with dirtiness, especially after I’ve showered before bed. So, it didn’t happen this weekend.

Tonight, Sunday night, I made myself go get the potato piece ready when I remembered right before my shower. I want these things handled. I want my body to heal…

Of course, I forgot while I was in the shower, and had to do it right afterward, which freaked me out a bit. But I had to do it the other day that way already, so I knew I could manage, even though I really disliked doing it that way. And the piece was longer than usual tonight, which also stressed me a bit, though logic and physics and geometry told me it was 100% fine.

Nonetheless, I got it done, though I had a total struggle initially. I was yelping and whining at first, my man even came to see if I was okay. Somehow, he guessed exactly what it was when I answered that, ‘No!’ I wasn’t okay. “Oh. The potato?” No hesitation. He just knew. 😛

Eventually, I tried a slightly different angle and all, and it went in normally and relatively easily, and it was handled. Now, to walk around and suck my butt in for the next ten to twenty minutes, and all will be well. (And it has been.)

I just hope I don’t have to keep doing these for much longer. The first two seemed to help immensely. I hope this one does the same. I’m ready for my butt to be normal again, please. (We’ll work more on the rash next. She also gave me something to try out for that.)

Dear God, please, heal my hemorrhoids and bottom problems. Help my body to be strong and well and beautiful in all ways. Help me to be the best I can be, that I pursue and fulfill your will. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Booty work

Well, the rash is back in full swing! (Or, shall I say, itch??) Ugh. Guess it’s time to cut out all sugar sources, which is minimal in terms of processed sugars, but is a major bummer in terms of bananas and grapes and all other fruits that I would love to have right now. But, hopefully, it will be worth it, as this thing seems to thrive on sugars (and make me crave them, too). Hopefully, I can crunch on a bunch of ice and drink cold, cold water to satisfy all my watery-sweet, cool-fruit-in-summertime cravings. Hats off to the absurd for our health!

God, give me the grace and strength, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Ouch

Okay, but why??? Butt, why???

I’m about to go to bed, a touch late, and I have an early start tomorrow, despite its being a Saturday. Suddenly, my lower, lower guts begin to ache. My belly is swollen, 99% likely with gas. And then, even more suddenly, the area just upward/inside of my anus begins to hurt. The kind of hurt that make sitting sound near impossible. I’m moving slowly, now, and still have to all my stretches, and then lie down in bed… will I be able I handle it? Gosh, I hope so, because I am exhausted. And this whole situation is practically the epitome of my body telling me that it is exhausted. Naturally, that means it prevents me from helping it with more sleep…

Sometimes, nature seems like it dropped a few brain cells somewhere along the way… 😛

Post-a-day 2021

Saturday, in the bar(??)

Okay, so it seems to be as I had thought already: the rash on my bum etc. is very likely due to the bit of virus I have going on inside my body right now. Kind of like how people can get rashes with, say, scarlet fever, this is the body’s reaction to whatever is going on inside in the waging battle. That was already the source of whatever was going on with my arm and the rest of my muscles, their being extremely and unexplainable tight (pre-virus idea). (Seriously, though, stretches I do every night before bed, I was struggling to do at all, let alone to the degree that I do them almost every night – I was unexplainably tight all over my body.) At least, that’s how everything seems according to the holistic nutritionist (aka holistic doctor), whom I saw for a quick check-up this evening. I am to let him know if the rash worsens at all or does not go away in the next week. That alone, knowing that someone more knowledgeable it available and willing to help me, gives me much ease around this. The treatment he gave me, as well, has eased my mind and body immensely, too. And so, I believe I will sleep very, very well tonight. (Thank you, God.)

Separately, we had a social for my gym this afternoon at an outdoor bar between me and the gym. It was incredibly nice weather, and the company was lovely, and I truly enjoyed my time. I didn’t talk to loads of people, but I did circle a touch and interact with many. I did not hold myself back, and I also allowed myself to interact only where and when I actually wanted to interact with people. And it was awesome.

When I first arrived, a guy asked for and then scammed my driver license on a handheld device. He explained to me about the icehouse’s(?) being in a dry part of town (that’s normal, by the way), and do it required a free membership in order to buy alcohol. I declined the membership, and told him that I don’t drink, and so don’t need it. He seemed extremely doubtful, and, though he said ‘okay,’ he proceeded to inform me that I would not be allowed to buy a drink, if I went to the bar and tried to get one.

…….

Uh, okay….? I don’t drink alcohol… my non-drinking is not going to disappear in thirty minutes or something… it’s kind of a standard by which I live every day of my life….

It had me wonder how many idiot college kids he got in there who tried not to have the membership and then buy alcoholic beverages after entering. Super facepalm…

Later, it had me thinking about AA-type people who don’t drink for intense reasons, but then I recalled that those people would be rather unlikely to be visiting a bar in the jest place. But then, here was I, one who dislikes bars and doesn’t drink alcohol (or probably anything else they would serve), walking into this outdoor bar for my gym social. I was there for the people and the water, not the alcohol etc. Who’s to say longer-time AA folks wouldn’t be capable of doing the same thing? Although, I do admit fully that it would not be common. Same with pregnant women.

Anyway, that was silly.

At the end of the social, a small group was going to eat, and I was invited to join them. I easily joined them for the food, and I had a lovely time talking with and spending time with all of them then (as we hadn’t talked much or at all at the earlier part). When they continued on to somewhere else for more drinking (still outdoors and all), I comfortably declined and wished them a lovely rest of their day and evening/night, as I headed out. It is lovely not having regrets after group interactions like that. And it is especially so for me, when the setting is one in which I previously have had those regrets. I was myself today, and I was comfortable in who I am. It was spectacular.

And a tiny fun bit to it all: We all got sunburned. And some of us badly…. But we are fit half-lobsters! 😛

Today was really great, and I am entirely grateful for it.

Gratitude, God. Thank you.

Post-a-day 2021

^Meh… had to consider

Hmm

Well, I still have the rash. I think the next step is to get baby diaper rash cream tomorrow. I will be in the same place as my mom at one point, so I’ll see if she will take a look at it to give her confirmation on the potential diagnosis of diaper rash. If she does confirm, I’ll move forward with that treatment pathway. If she finds it to be different than she expected, then I’ll use whatever knowledge she has to guide my next steps.

Fingers crossed!!

Post-a-day 2021

^Only a slight hesitation that time

Scritch-Scratch

*****Warning: True yet oddly explicit bodily discussion coming.*****

Okay, you know that feeling of scratching an itch really, really well, right? Where your whole body reacts positively, and you can definitely relate to a dog or cat leaning into it and thumping with pleasure during a good head scratch…. where you kind of must moan a bit, it feels so ridiculously satisfying…. that kind?

Yeah, those are rather rare but spectacular.

Now, you know the scratches that scratch an itch you didn’t even realize you had? They are like scratching your head after having your hair in a ponytail all day long, where you push the hair follicles all around while massaging and scratching the scalp all at once.

Those are rather spectacular, too.

Now, have you ever had a combination of the two? The unexpected absurdly satisfying scratch in a place you stumbled upon, where you hadn’t even considered you might need or even want a scratch…

If you haven’t, I wish you one in the near future, for sure. They are… well…, wow. 😛

Okay, now… have you ever had one of those, that combination scratch scenario, on/around your anus?

Trust me, I was partly shocked and partly appalled at first, myself. However, I realized that it doesn’t exactly have any reason not to be allowed a good scratch. When I shower and clean my body thoroughly – and yes, I clean my body thoroughly every shower – that includes my butt/anus. It is part of me and a part that needs cleaning, so of course I clean it. No question. And I have experienced in the past a few occasions where the final rinse/cleaning step for it results in a good little scratch for an itch I hadn’t known existed. However, tonight, it was on a’ whole ‘nother level.

It was that perfect combination of unexpectedness and utter satisfaction, forcing a moan/sigh of awesomeness from me. Of course, it surprised me, but I really didn’t care. It was such a good scratch.

Seriously.

I hope you, too, can one day experience something so spectacular all on your own. Not even joking on its ridiculous proximity to the category of sexual satisfaction. Not even joking.

Post-a-day 2021

^Slight hesitation

Ouch

Well, my bum hurts… a lot… (Okay, now I am laughing, because that just sounds so totally charged with sexual innuendo, and get it is absolutely not one bit sexual.) So, the showerhead broke, because it’s actually made of plastic at the part where it screws onto the pipe, and it just kind of split. That means that, despite the double and triple efforts of duct taping the pipe and connection piece, a bunch of water comes out of the duct tape instead of the showerhead itself, making the water flow significantly decreased from usual. To stand under the full water flow – from the showerhead and the leaking part combined – one must stand directly beneath the pipe and showerhead, as opposed to out in front, as would be the place to stand under normal circumstances.

Now, imagine showering in this setting, and dropping a bar of soap. You squat down carefully to pick up the bar, and stand back up at a rather normal standing up speed… only to have your bum suddenly be on fire after hearing a loud clanking and feeling a big bash on your backside – you have just perfectly slammed and scraped your backside upward against and across the large bathtub faucet… the faucet that typically is a couple feet behind you when you’re showering, thereby rendering you shocked and confused at first… but then you recall the leaky water situation, and realize that you had not at all factored that into the squatting and standing back up scenario…

That was, essentially, the portrait of me last night. I now have an inch-long cut, a two point five inch-long red line on either side of it, a few deep red spots around it, and a bruised and lighter red area of about two point five inches by one inch to hold it all together. And it still burns, 24 hours after the incident even happened, let alone the dull pain of the hit’s bruise.

So, yeah, my butt hurts.

I actually couldn’t even put on my underwear all the way for quite a while last night, the skin burned so much from the cut (which had bled a surprising amount, considering so much of the butt is fat and all). And I couldn’t sit normal or lie down either for a long while. Instead of going to bed as I had planned, I stayed up and watched a film on the sofa, sitting on my side, allowing the cut to close up enough safely with the medicine, as well as stop hurting so much that I couldn’t let anything touch it.

Now, it is mostly just a matter of not letting anything rub across the skin there, nor pushing too hard against the area. Otherwise, it is doing rather well, and really just keeps reminding of my other butt injury this year, in which, while fixing a wedgie, my fingernail caught the skin at the base of my spine and top of my butt, right in the middle, and scraped off a whole inch-ish-long chunk. Yes, a chunk. It bled a lot, and all over my underwear – such a weird situation that one was(!).

Basically, I’m just wondering how many more of these absolutely ridiculous butt injuries I am going to be causing myself the rest of this year… or even my life. The last was in January in Japan, and this one is August in Southeast Texas. What will happen in another six-ish months, pray?

😛

…………….

In a totally separate note, I received official word this morning that my gym is closing at the end of this month, permanently. He had too many people drop memberships and all, so it is the safe and smart thing for him to do financially for himself and his family (the owner, I mean). While it is conceptually heartbreaking, I realize that my intense depression last month was very much regarding the fact that, while most everyone else was back at the gym as usual, and I was staying home because it was what we were told was the safest idea for the time besting in our city, I had a feeling that I wasn’t just missing out for now, but that I was missing out for good – that I wouldn’t ever be going back to the gym. Being upset over this idea as being real seemed irrational of me at the time, which only added to the sense of loss and the depression. However, now that I am on the other side of the depression and intense struggle, I have now dealt with the relevant concerns that were at its root…, including the idea of my never going back to that particular gym again. So, while the news is, well, new, I have already gone through the emotional turmoil of not being able to go to the gym ever again, so I don’t feel any need to go through it again – I’ve already handled that one!

Yes, it is sad that the gym is closing – it was a spectacular space filled with love and support that made huge impacts on many lives, mine included. However, it is both a new opportunity for the owner, as well as for me. As “High School Musical” so happily belted out for me tonight, it’s the start of something new – and I can feel it, and I am ready this time. 🙂

Post-a-day 2020