Tag: friends

Goals by Christmas

Have a beautiful, humble, honest, loving man to love me and hold me and comfort me.

Speak Italian effectively in my thoughts (in my head and aloud) and in at least one actual conversational interaction with a native speaker.

Be financially comfortable and confident.

Go on a long run at least once, and embrace the air.

Be ridiculous loads, having fun while at play with the world around me.

Teach people wonderful things.

Love people openly.

Be open with people with my words.

Love myself wholly.

Sing and play much music.

Including some good Christmas music.

Sleep well and effectively at night.

Drink lots of tisanes and some teas.

Embrace my beauty as a goddess embodied in this human life.

Release freely what does not serve me at large and at small.

Learn some Python basics.

Increase my splits and kick height/ease.

Post-a-day 2021

Happy Blue Bell and ice cream!

In the Spring of 2015, Blue Bell closed production and recalled all of its products from stores. The Southern staple remained entirely absent for the following few months, and many were concerned about the possible permanent shutdown of the Texas company. It had been around for just over 100 years (founded 1907, I believe), and was a prominent fixture in the lives of moth Southerners. We felt a personal hit by the closure – even those of us who rarely even ate the ice cream anymore – and we all felt the risk of losing a whole piece of ourselves, should the company shut down permanently.

However, on August 31, the first phase of redistribution began, and Houston was graced once again with those beautiful tubs of ice cream on its grocery shelves. Once things calmed a bit, and it was again an accessible commodity – though the ice cream sandwiches took another few years to return to grocers (April of 2019!!) -, a friend of mine decided to throw a party. She especially was beside herself with joy at the return of Blue Bell. So, we all gathered somewhat spontaneously at her house one Saturday evening to revel in the delights of ice cream.

Of course, ice cream doesn’t exactly make for the greatest of meals. However, such forethought is not exactly one of this particular friend’s fortés. Therefore, amidst the indulgences of ice cream and happy conversations, it was determined that pizza would be the easiest solution, mid-party. So, we ordered some pizzas to go with our Blue Bell. Thus began our yearly celebrations of what we unintentionally called for years “Blue Bell and Ice Cream”, but technically had named “Blue Bell and Pizza”. (Now I remember what we named it, and know that we accidentally said it wrong for years without noticing. However, I prefer our Freudian initial naming, and so still use it most of the time.)

Alas, tonight was our yearly celebration, and so I, once again, had my yearly serving of Blue Bell Cookies ‘N’ Cream, and had some fancy schmancy pizza that was gluten-free yet delicious. (Naturally, I feel terrible compared to how I typically feel on any given day. However, it’s only once a year, so I don’t mind it too much. Especially when it means I get to dive into my historical regional identity for a bit, and also reminisce on some great parts of my childhood.)

So, Happy Blue Bell and Ice Cream, folks! Seven years strong, and we finally have real ice cream sandwiches again! (Seriously, if I’d gotten a box of those, I’d have eaten almost the whole thing myself. And I only say almost, because I know my mom would have demanded at least a couple for herself. Those things are spectacular, and slightly addicting. No joke, either.)

Post-a-day 2021

Growth

I think it show immense growth that I can simultaneously have a touch of trepidation at the idea of receiving feedback from someone on a song I created, and also comfortable consideration of that person’s ideas, without panic or a feeling of defensiveness. I would have been both in the past, I have very little doubt. Now, however, I see that I can accept the offerings for what they are – offerings for improvement -, and then evaluate them genuinely, and either accept or reject them based on what I truly want for the song, separate from any feelings of not being good enough, or anything else like that.

It feels odd, but the comfort of it is surprisingly wonderful.

Post-a-day 2021

I see you

Do I write poetry?
Or does poetry write me?
Or, perhaps, I write poetry,
and poetry rights me…

I experience an extreme
lack of understanding
from the people I meet.
They do not see me
almost at all,
though they believe
that they see all.

If I cannot express simply
who I truly am,
how could someone else define me
with just a glance?

Ender said it,
and I felt it, because
How can you judge me,
If you do not first know me?
And how can you know me,
If you do not first love me?

It is little wonder
i feel so alone.
I’m surrounded by judgements,
So,
barely seen,
barely loved,
barely known.

But by myself.

Post-a-day 2021

Music

I wrote another song this week. I was hesitant to share it with the public, as my opinions are not exactly the most vocally common… However, I felt that it was the piece of love that I needed to share with the world right now, and so I sucked it up, let it all go, and shared the song. The following is all I said with it.

“I was deeply distraught regarding many, many experiences, both firsthand and secondhand, recently, and I finally started to write about it on Sunday. My frustrations came out in verse, as has been common for years for me. As I wrote them, I was able to release them, and was left, instead of with despair, with the hope of stepping into something of value and filled with love. These words were what was left filling the page, and _________ asked for some ukulele… So, here we have another ukulele song! ;)”

Post-a-day 2021

You’re the best around

I had a hunch that my friend was extremely good at the acrobatic aerial work she has been doing these past few years, though I hadn’t seen her practice since she started really practicing kind of as a full-time hobby and part-time job a few years ago. She was already a natural in her early days, and not kept getting better and better. Even as a semi-newbie, she was still asked to perform with seasoned individuals in circus performances of varied types. Now, she is several years into it all, and a few years into major practice and work.

Tonight, as I watched her practice for real for the first time in years, I saw what I expected to see in her actions and skills and grace and success, of course. But I also saw in the faces and in the comments of the others present, those practicing and teaching others, what I had long suspected: she is spectacular. Even the owner of the gym had her students stop to watch, she knew it would be worth their time to observe. Of course, when everyone inevitably commented to and lauded her about it all, she was extremely humble and grateful for their kind comments, likely feeling they were over exaggerated. Though, they most certainly were not – she is just that good and that humble.

I am extremely grateful to be friends with her, and I am so proud of her for all that she has accomplished in this field. She has become one of the best around, all through her own hard work and dedication. Anyone who has the opportunity to be her student is supremely blessed to be a le to work with someone so loving and gentle and caring, yet also so supremely talented and effectively self-trained.

Post-a-day 2021

Speaking of friends

Talk about friendship… I just sent this message to someone who has only more recently entered into my life:

Please, take this the best way possible:

1) I purposely fully undressed before brushing my teeth (before showering) tonight, because I felt like you would be proud.
2) I likely will think of you close to 90% of the time I walk around without underwear on from now onward.

Just wanted you to know 😂

Clearly I love and trust her.

I went to a late dinner tonight – though, I only had churros, and intentionally so* – with two other younger adults, early twenties. Afterward, the girl was discussing how she was annoyed at the guy’s behavior, that he was rude and that the dinner was pointless.

I disagreed with her. I told her that I felt the guy was lonely. He invited us to hang out for a quick dinner, as he put it, and then he told us that he had plans for afterward. When just he and I had been hanging initially, I really enjoyed hearing all about his work and his passion for it. I think he’s a really nice guy who wants to be loved and accepted, and is a bit lonely, and is still working on how to handle all of that.

She said to me, “That’s a really mature way of thinking about it.”

My first thought, after my initial stun, of course, was, Well, duh…

The irony of that thought did not evade me. 😛

Having observed her behavior at the dinner and time the three of us were together, and listened to her words and her guidance of the main conversation, I knew she did not see it how I did (at least, not until I shared with her about it.). And yet, I couldn’t imagine seeing things the way she (and sometimes the guy) saw and evaluated things. I just don’t think that way. To use her phrasing, I almost always think maturely about it all. Anything less makes no sense to me.

But my aunt always said I was born 25 and only ever got older…

*They were my chocolate bar the priest told me to eat this weekend, my intentional small pleasure.

Post-a-day 2021

Hmm…

I think that, if being honest and open with people overwhelms them, frightens them, then that is OK – they are just not the people meant to be in your life right now. They were here so that you could express yourself, and, now that that has happened, they are not meant to be here with you anymore.Perhaps they are not ready for who you are yet. Perhaps they never will be. Whatever the case, there is nothing wrong with their temporary passing through your life. It is just what’s so.

Post-a-day 2021

Now, must sleep

Well, it looks like I missed the regular alarms this morning. My body required that I rest. It still wasn’t much sleep, but it was loads more than the two and a half hours it would have been.

School went okay, though was somewhat tiring, as expected. I had a cleaning at the new dentist this afternoon, and he gave much praise on my oral health and home care. It had been almost four years since my last cleaning, and he never would have guessed – I had less plaque buildup than most anybody who comes through. And they come through every four to six months.

Also, I got to watch a friend practice with aerial silks, which was awesome.

Post-a-day 2021