Tag: friends

Encouragement

It always is very impactful to have somebody wholly unrelated to a situation share a thought, unbidden, on how something feels to her regarding the situation, and for that thought to mirror almost exactly how I have been feeling about the situation myself. Especially when that feeling seems somehow contradictory to what ‘would make sense’.

It always feels like a message from God and the Universe: Yes, you were right. That is the case. Now, hop to it. 😉

I love those messages.

And so, I did hop to it today.

Thank you, God and Universe and Cosmos. I am grateful for the tender encouragement and empowerment today.

Post-a-day 2021

Best friends

Preparing to spend time with my best friend tomorrow, I was exchanging messages with her this evening.

She sent:

Is there an electrical outlet in one of the rooms? And is there anything that would be helpful for me to bring for you/us that we might have lying around anyway, like a blanket for eating on, etc?

And I replied:

Both rooms have an electrical outlet available
I think even interacting with you brings me back to that space of being total idiots together. For some reason, when I thought about your other question, I thought, “Bring a brush if you want to brush my hair like monkeys.”
Because that is apparently something that we are supposed to do when we hang out…?

Her response to my last part was:


I love this
And i love you
Looking forward to tomorrow
Ya idiot
🥰❤️😂

We haven’t really been together in years, and our communication has been minimal the last year or two, due to life being demanding where we each have been, across the world from one another.
I expect tomorrow to be lovely. We haven’t done something like it, really, in a very, very long time.

Post-a-day 2021

Alas

It seems my brother has finally made the official move back to the USA. I picked him up at the airport tonight, and dropped him off at his dad’s house (after a stop at Whataburger, that is), before heading back home myself. It was a lot of driving, to be sure, but who else would do it in the middle of the night (quite literally: midnight 03 was the scheduled flight arrival time)?

In a way, his expat days are over, yet, have re-begun.

I wonder how hard it will be for him. I spent a year in Japan, after having lived in various European countries for various amounts of time (though each less than my time in Japan), and it was tough for quite a while for me at first. He’s never lived in another country and come back home before this, and he was gone for eight years, almost exactly. (August would have been eight years precisely.)

Fingers crossed!

And I’m here for him.

Hopefully my sister-in-law will take advantage of my being here once she arrives. She has a whole ‘nother world coming to her, for sure.

Post-a-day 2021

The force was with me

This morning, while putting together my supplements for the month, I had a desire to watch a Star Wars film. So, I turned it on and enjoyed it while doing the supplements.

Then, I went to work out with a friend at midday. It was awesome, of course.

Afterward, I immediately rushed to meet my dad at an open house we both were excited to see. It’s a house I’ve seen for most of my life, always wondering how it looks on the inside. The outside, of course, does not look like a house. It looks like a space ship out of a Star Wars film. Oh, wait…, because it actually was designed after one! So, it’s a Star Wars-themed house. Truly.

Get ready.

This evening, I sit down to my coding training work for the day. What is the while theme for the first topic of the day? Star Wars villains! So, I got to do some coding regarding the Star Wars films and their respective villains!

How crazy and silly and fun is that??? Three appearances of Star Wars in a single day…, and I almost never watch films these days, so even that one was a surprise on its own!

Oh, and by the way, the house was ridiculous and awesome. It felt like a high end, lounge-y space ship from Star Wars would have been. Totally.

Post-a-day 2021

Man…

While drama is certainly stressful, it is always helpful to get moving on something I’ve been resisting/avoiding. When time is on you, start, and the pressure will be off, sure. But even when any pressure is on me, if I start on something, it lifts a whole lot of pressure…, even if it isn’t the pressure from the drama.

So, though I still feel stress tonight, I feel much better than when I went to bed last night.

Keep chugging, Banana – you’ve got this. 😉

Post-a-day 2021

Drama, drama

I feel like the world was testing me today. Or, perhaps, it was just reminding me of why I am where I am in life, encouraging and empowering me to continue pursuing this path of mine that is, in so many ways, completely unlike that of most of the world around me.

It gave me a taste of all the drama that seems to go with everyday life for what we can call “normal people“. And I don’t like it. I am extremely glad and grateful that I don’t have that in my daily life. I can’t imagine the stress involved in living a life with such drama going on every single day… no wonder people are so stressed out. You know what I mean?

I am grateful for the reminder I received today on this fact. Yes, I do get lonely at times – often, sometimes -, but I wouldn’t trade it for the drama of having regular people around me. I want the best of the best, the white light sounds shining through people, the love embodied people, the ones who will be my true friends, who will help me be the best person I can be, as I do the same for them, both consciously and unconsciously. I want those people. And I am willing to be alone often, if it means I get to be with those people at the right times. Because I do not want the drama of being normal. No, thank you.

And thank you for the reminder of that today, Universe. I am extremely grateful. ❤

Post-a-day 2021

Friday night

Girl, I just threw up.
I then showered and am rushing to cozy up in warm stuff, because it seems to be making me feel better right now.
Vomiting is one of the worst things I have ever experienced in life. It is always nearly traumatic for me.
Omg r u okay ??
I think so. It just seemed to be the little bit of food I had after work…
And a boatload of air…
Weirdest version ever, but I’m glad it seems to be done.
I was crying so much…
It always crushes me on so many levels.
Like the world is coming to an end, and nobody loves me, and a drunk person just spilled some sticky, unidentifiable red cocktail all over me and my favorite vintage ivory dress, and didn’t even notice, and it doesn’t even matter, because the world is ending, but I can’t stop crying about it the most, somehow…
That’s my average experience whenever I throw up. 😂
And now, I simultaneously never want to eat again, and want some chicken soup…
What a night…
Post-a-day 2021

Asking for help

Why are some things easier to ask for than others? I ask the Universe and God to show me what next to do, that I might find my work that I will love and that will serve the world best. Within days, I am engrossed in a world I had previously believed – and am still not entirely convinced is not – over my head. It wasn’t until a week or so later that it even occurred to me that, yes, I had distinctly and clearly asked, fervently, for this guidance that I had so clearly received.

And so, today, I am having a conversation with the same person who had asked me the other week if I had actually asked for help from God and the Universe regarding my work. He brings up about a boy, asking me if anything has come of that situation. No, it really hasn’t. “If he isn’t on my level, then he isn’t for me,” I reply, “And that’s okay.”

As we get into the fact that I really do want to have someone in my life already, that I’m tired of not having a partner and significant other, I notice that, though I definitely could ask for this situation to arise in my life, I feel an immense hesitation to do it. It only makes sense to ask, especially after the last request I made for help. But something is stopping me. I am stopping me, that is. But why?

I suppose it is the same as always: I am scared. I am scared that I will end up settling, and hat I will miss amazing opportunities because I picked someone. No explorations in partners to be made, once a partner is set.

But let’s be real here: I’ve had plenty of time, yet have had almost no interest in anyone I have crossed. What explorations am I even referencing? I don’t actually want to pursue any of them. But, as soon as they are unavailable, it feels, I would want to pursue them, somehow.

How silly…

Okay, so, here’s the thing. I want the man who is perfect for me and for whom I am perfect. Together, we want nothing, and we have everything. We are filled and fulfilled together. While we can – and have done so – live apart, we choose to live together, as we love and live better when together. I want a partner who allows me to think happily on other possibilities of men, as I think today on candies. (Okay, that reference was not intentional, eye candy and all…) That would be awesome! But I’ll leave it to everyone else – I don’t truly want it.

So, yeah… come on, Man. Bring it. I’m ready to step up onto our level, and be together going forward now. Yes, I am still terrified. All the better. Bring it.

Post-a-day 2021

Just say it

Sometimes, it feels embarrassing to give a compliment to someone, especially when it is something that others would be surprised at your having noticed.

In my experience, though, it is almost always worth it for all parties involved to go ahead and just give the compliment. Yes, be appropriate in how you set up giving the compliment, and the words and tone you use – have them be appropriate for the context and the receiver -, but just give it. Just say it. More often than not, it is one of the best parts of that person’s day. Possibly more.

Like how my gym owner gave me the compliment about my butt being “perfection”… I almost cried with joy at the compliment. But he also set it up appropriately, easing me into the fact that he was about to say something atypical and that he wanted to make sure I took the right way. That was weeks ago, now, and it still lights up my day most days, at least once, if not multiple times a day.

I was scared to give two separate components to a guy this past week. I gave them anyway. And it turned out very positively.

So, go ahead. Give the compliment. Acknowledge openly the beauty of those around you.

Post-a-day 2021

Sharing is caring?

I have begun sharing. Why? Because I care. I care about those who have been hurt. I care about those who can help those being hurt or who have been hurt. I care about those who can prevent others from being hurt. I care about those who want to understand. I care about those who want to help. And I care about those who, simply, need to know.

But sharing isn’t always easy. And it isn’t always perceived as caring. Sometimes, it can merely frighten those on the receiving end. So, I think it is important to be responsible for the listening – will this person be able to hear right now what I next will say, or do I need to set up the conversation differently, so that this person can hear what I am going to say?

Beyond that, though, no matter how jarring it may be to share, I believe that sharing truly is caring. And I care.

Therefore, I share.

Watch out, world. I’m coming, open.

And that openness has reached a whole new level. So, get ready. And let’s do this. ❤

Post-a-day 2021