Why do I almost always struggle to get to bed at a decent hour on Sunday nights? I fiddle around all day Sunday, exhausted, and then end up taking forever on something just before bed, getting me off to a dreadful start to the school week. Add to it my buttock and ankle pains on the right side, as well as a full day of classes, including an observation, and we have ourselves a recipe for an extremely tiring and uncomfortable Monday.
Ugh.
God, help me rest well, please.
Post-a-day 2021
Bro, I don’t quite understand where God is directing me right now, but I am certainly following the calls and encouragements full-heartedly. There is now a very high chance that I will be helping with this martial arts thing at school, now, in the mornings… because, you know, I wasn’t busy enough already. 😛 My words and thoughts, by the way, and I believe them as both true and ironic. Haha
Anyway, must sleep ASAP, as it’s already after 9pm!
Post-a-day 2021
Have you ever done something when you’re having loads of free time, and totally loved it, but then, tried it again, but without the free time, and been none-too-excited about it?
We just started up karate classes again after a month break. I have since started school, right? Now, more than ever, I am exhausted in the late evenings, getting into bed as early as possible, sometimes even at 6:40pm. Yet karate class is assisting the juniors at 6pm, and attending my own class at 7pm. If I attend the other classes throughout the week, they go even later. But I need loads of hours to move forward in my official training and belt levels (which I want to do).
So, I guess I need to sit down in the next few days, and figure out how many hours of what I need, and how quickly (or slowly) I can and want to make them all happen. Otherwise, without the specifics and the goals set up, I might get a little too tired to do any of it, especially with school happening right now. I do love this all. But I need to be rested enough to be able to enjoy it fully. Otherwise, the teacher and German within me will tear apart the instructors and assistants and other adults mentally, and be annoyed throughout all the classes for a plethora of reasons. I really don’t want to be that way. Alas, I shall make my plan and get some sleep!
Because I want to beast at karate. Seriously.
Post-a-day 2021
Precautionarily for the expected wind, rain, and flooding, school for today was moved to asynchronous learning yesterday afternoon. So, I sent out e-mails to my classes to let them know their assignments for today, and just checked in every so often to answer the few e-mails I received from them with questions. I did one make-up test at noon – which was fortunate to be digital, as the student had broken a finger, and so struggles to write right now -, but, otherwise, I rested much.
And boy did I need that rest.
The gym was closed for the morning classes, due to the intense rain and wind, so I didn’t even exercise today. (I suppose I exercised my freedom of choice by choosing to be restful.) I only had to be up just before eight to send out those e-mails. Though I woke naturally at four, my body let me use the bathroom quickly and then pass back out. I only awoke to my alarm after seven, telling me to send out e-mails. And then, I went back to sleep for another little bit, and resting in near-unconsciousness with eyes closed for an hour-ish before getting up for real for the day.
I dressed cozily, had some easy, warm food, listened to my current audiobook, and, after that test, went to go through paintings with my dad.
Today was oddly simple, yet very satisfying. I think the work I did was exponentially beneficial, and so was much more impactful than it would seem initially. Thank you, God, for such a blessing today.
Post-a-day 2021
Man… if only I hadn’t already brushed and flossed a bunch and put in my retainers for the night. I could really do for a fig right now, what with the hugging quality of them and all right now. Alas, I’ll settle for some stretching and reading and going to sleep early for a while (before I wake up in the middle of the night to have my meeting… ugh…. haha.).
Post-a-day 2021
Okay, but why??? Butt, why???
I’m about to go to bed, a touch late, and I have an early start tomorrow, despite its being a Saturday. Suddenly, my lower, lower guts begin to ache. My belly is swollen, 99% likely with gas. And then, even more suddenly, the area just upward/inside of my anus begins to hurt. The kind of hurt that make sitting sound near impossible. I’m moving slowly, now, and still have to all my stretches, and then lie down in bed… will I be able I handle it? Gosh, I hope so, because I am exhausted. And this whole situation is practically the epitome of my body telling me that it is exhausted. Naturally, that means it prevents me from helping it with more sleep…
Sometimes, nature seems like it dropped a few brain cells somewhere along the way… 😛
Post-a-day 2021
I genuinely do not know what to say. I am exhausted, and for many reasons. But today was oddly satisfying in many ways. Troubles from yesterday have not been handled. But much good was accomplished today for other parts of my life, and I feel really good about those things. I look forward gladly to applying some of the work I created today in classes tomorrow.
I love teaching…
Post-a-day 2021
I am cold, but not ashamed, sitting naked on the floor.
I have been putting together ideas for how to approach a particular class that I’m teaching. You see, I absolutely love teaching – I can’t stop getting excited about it, when I have the opportunity actually to do it. I just love teaching and helping people learn things. And teaching foreign language, despite its struggles, is one of the most exciting things I have ever been able to do in my life. I really wish that I could devote more of my life to doing just that: teaching foreign language.
I think I always got so frustrated with teaching, even though it was mostly foreign language, because of the books I had to follow. I would do my best to use the books, but despised how terrible they were, not just in terms of accuracy, but in terms of how ineffective they were in creating someone who genuinely could say, “I speak this language.” And so, I would make a belated effort to come up with something better, while keeping on track with the required timing of the course, and covering whatever silly info the book had thrown in as ‘important’ for the course. Actually, of the courses – I was never just teaching one, but usually three to five courses in French, all at once.
And I think that that is how I grew so exhausted. The frustration combined with the inefficiency and knowing that I could do so much better, if only I had the time. Yet, when summer came around, or any other longer break, I was already too exhausted to do anything about it all, and too overwhelmed by the frustrations and inefficiency in which I had been living for so many months already. It was easier just to give up. And, eventually, it was easier just to walk away. The state requirements were too stupidly set up for my efforts to be worth it on my own, it felt.
And yet, there was something else. Something I hadn’t realized until, perhaps, this week… maybe, even, until today.
I had not found a place where I truly wanted to put forth the effort. I had not found a school for which it felt my efforts would be worth it.
And yet, as I mentioned, though I never take work home with me, I am sitting here on the floor, most likely at home (because I’m definitely not sitting around in my office naked), working. But this isn’t work for me. It is something I am excited and impatient to do. So, I am doing it. Well, I was doing it. Once I hit the point of being done for now – no longer thrilled by it -, I closed up shop for the night. I likely will revisit it all tomorrow and Saturday, and possibly will go in to school on Sunday or Monday for the more “work” part of it all, the labor that isn’t so fun, but necessary for it all to be great.
And, you know, I excited about that. What kind of weekend is that? A wonderful one, filled with a sense of accomplishment and helping make the world a better place, and making a positive difference in the lives of those around me, on the lives of people I love.
So, I can hardly wait to get back to work. For now, though, Imma get up, get dressed, and get to sleep, because I’m exhausted.
Goodnight, all.
And may God and The Universe bless us all with love. 😉
P.S. If you got that song reference, it is extra fun, because I really have been torn about all of this teaching stuff lately. I thought I had left teaching for good…, but then I got an e-mail and phone call this summer, and here I am, teaching for the semester… and loving it in the most ironic of ways.
Post-a-day 2021
Tonight, I partied hard.
Well, sort of. Tonight, I went to an open hoise for a circus arts place to see my friend perform. Afterward, I got to learn some basics on the lyra. Both were spectacular.
After that, she and I joined a few of her circus world friends for their late dinner. I then checked if someone I knew who frequented the restaurant-bar across the street happened to be around. This was the second Saturday in a row that I ended up in a place right next-door to that restaurant-bar. This time, I was on the other side of it from last week. However, he was not there this week either.
So, the circus friend and I headed over to the house of two of the people from the late dinner. We hung out there together, and partly worked on the beginning of a stressful puzzle. Once I had accomplished something satisfying, I went home. It was after one in the morning. I haven’t been out so late doing things in I don’t know how long. I am utterly exhausted right now, but I’m still working on everything I need to do before I can go to bed comfortably. I was on a Zoom hangout briefly, on the way to the house of the people, and the people on the call were laughing at how I was out and about so late at night. It was already around 11 PM, and I typically am in bed by 9 PM at the latest.  we all found it hilarious that I had been surprised to see so many people out walking around in the area. It was my own neighborhood, and I had had no idea that so many people were out walking around so late on a Saturday night. It certainly makes sense, but that didn’t make it any less surprising, seeing as how I had never seen it happen until tonight.
All in all, it was a very nice night, but it went way too late for my taste. Nonetheless, I am glad I participated in it so fully. Thank you, God and Universe, for this opportunity. Now, I pray that I be able to rest fully tonight, despite the fact that it is currently after 3 AM, which is practically when I normally wake up every day.
Post-a-day 2021
I wrote another song this week. I was hesitant to share it with the public, as my opinions are not exactly the most vocally common… However, I felt that it was the piece of love that I needed to share with the world right now, and so I sucked it up, let it all go, and shared the song. The following is all I said with it.
“I was deeply distraught regarding many, many experiences, both firsthand and secondhand, recently, and I finally started to write about it on Sunday. My frustrations came out in verse, as has been common for years for me. As I wrote them, I was able to release them, and was left, instead of with despair, with the hope of stepping into something of value and filled with love. These words were what was left filling the page, and _________ asked for some ukulele… So, here we have another ukulele song! ;)”
Post-a-day 2021
hannah ananas 