Tag: life

True friends

“I only have about ten minutes, so, nothing about me – just tell me about you…”

He begins to list questions related to things and areas in my life.

“…and how is your social life? Do you even have one right now?…”

And the questions continue in a quick flood…

“…How is your body? Are you still gorgeous, or even more goddess-like now?…”

Eventually, the questions end, and he sits quietly to listen for the next ten minutes, attention focused…

…

Some friends, in even the tiniest of conversations, remind us of what true friends are… they are the ones who, when we’ve been in a tough spot, without their even seeming to try, say exactly the right thing to warm our hearts, and often thereby put us right at the edge of tears…

As I said, in taking with him, my heart felt so loved… breathing was so intensely filling and satisfying, my heart was so loved by him…

That is a sign of a true friend.

And, though we are a whole world apart from one another, I am grateful for the friendship and all of the love that has poured out and continues to pour out from and for it, like an everlasting waterfall…

Thank you, true friend, and thank you, God for the help… I needed this, and tonight especially… thank you, both and all.

Amen. 🙂 ❤

P.S. It is particularly important to me that this is a heterosexual man who expresses honestly and openly his thoughts and opinions, even with women, allowing for a spectacular and genuine friendship between the sexes… (When Harry Met Sally wins no fight here!)

Post-a-day 2020

Whew!

Man, was today a lot(!!!).

We hiked and frisbee-ed, and I photo-ed while they bouldered and swam.

There was intense thinking, visceral activity, and choo-choo breathing, along with a combination of utter terror and extreme, satisfied joy.

And I had a great time being photographer, climbing my own routes to get to the good and various photo angles.

I can hardly wait to share them, these photos… yes, this trip has been very good for me so far… 🙂

Thank you, God.

Please, continue to guide me as I release these restraints I have been carrying, and free myself of these painful fears and stresses in my life… I can do this, and I am grateful for the living opportunity that lies all around me with this present moment.

Thank you for it.

Amen.

Yeah…, today was absolutely exhausting and totally awesome… thank you… 🙂

Post-a-day 2020

Space vs Person

Have you ever been attracted to the space of someone, yet found absolutely zero physical attraction to the person, and also no real attraction to all too many details of the person and his/her life?

It is one where you feel that, if you were to close your eyes, you could be content, even delighted, being with this person…

Because, just listening to his/her voice, you feel somehow entirely at ease and filled with… well, something satisfying, comforting, and just a tad exciting…

But, you know that, as soon as you open your eyes, that feeling will be gone…

And so, you enjoy the idea with a secret smile, and just move on in life, without the person as your partner…

Do you know that one?

Yeah… it’s a weird one, I dare say…, but I have definitely been there.

Post-a-day 2020

Righteous Insecurity

I have noticed that people who do things that aren’t considered to be good (e.g. drugs and alcohol), tend to be somewhat righteously adamant about proving that it is not only acceptable for them to do such things, but also that those who do not do such things are, themselves, at fault somehow… like the insecurity of doing the not good thing is being hidden by the righteousness.

Just a speculation here, but I base it on much observation, and over many years.

It has me wonder, though, if I do this with things in my own life.

It certainly sucks, being hounded for not wanting to be part of such not good things, and for believing them to be neither beneficial nor necessary in life, and I hope not to make others feel that way due to my own insecurities.

So, I shall explore this for my near future, and see if there are adjustments that need to be put in order for myself.

Anyway… yeah… can you tell how my night went, in last? Haha

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Friends first

I think I am learning valuable lessons constantly in life.

Tonight, I have finalized the learning of the idea that, when visiting a friend, begin immediately to do the intended activities – typically one-on-one hanging out and talking about specifics and non-specifics from life since we last were together, in my case – instead of allowing anything else to take over the time, and then leave you having to stay up miserably late, and then having to go to bed from exhaustion and a need to wake early for work etc.. the next day, which always cuts the conversation short…

Even if you will be together a long while, do it at the start, so that the necessary is completed, and there is now room for surprises and deviations for any expected plan.

Actually, this applies to basically everything in life, but I have only tonight discovered this specific version of it.

Just some food for thought, as I struggle to see straight from exhaustion… 😉

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Pinky

…And The Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain…

Loved those guys when I was little.

Tonight, I was talking with my brother (the neuroscience one) about how language and math show up in the brain, specifically grammar and foreign language for the language stuff, and then algebra for the math stuff.

It turns out that, the algebra shows up with lights all over the brain, whenever we do it.

Language understanding and production are from specific, individual areas that interact with one another.

And the functional parts of language (think syntax) actually work more like the algebra does in the brain, with lights all over the place.

And so, it makes perfect sense that languages have seemed to me to be the same thing as algebra – I have always referred to them as math, and in various ways, and that is exactly how I see them in my head.

We even talked about how, algebraically, I personally see sentence structure across the languages.

Basically, we turned my nerdy question into an even nerdier conversation, and it was awesome.

Now, I know that I definitely want to see a brain lighting pattern test of my brain, especially around math and languages and grammar!

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Arrived, and problem grasped, perhaps?

Well, I have arrived to my goal endpoint of this first main part of my travel adventure this month: Wisconsin.

I can share details of things later – and I have much to say – but I want to share a discovery from late tonight.

You see, there’s this job I might be offered.

When it was out of my hands (I applied as they requested), I felt better and better with each day that passed.

And each day brought no news or updates.

Today, I was asked to come in to the office tomorrow morning for an official interview… radio silence, and then three efforts to get in touch with me this afternoon and evening, because they want an immediate interview in person tomorrow.

… for a job I just did for three months… and am even kind of still doing for he time-sensitive things that would have been otherwise forgotten.

I said clearly that I could not be there for an in-person interview until the end of the month, and that I am available for phone or video interview as early as tomorrow…. which is what I had mentioned already in the car, during the 7-ish pm phone call I received to see if I’d gotten the e-mails today…

I, of course, was driving, so had done no reading, including but not limited to e-mails and text messages.

So, anyway, I gave my availability in this e-mail I’ve just sent.

And I find myself more and more stressed and angsty about everything, somehow…

But I was fabulous All Day today… dRIVing, mind you… alone…. from 4:33am to 8:32pm.

It has me really wonder if I would prefer not to have this job…

… and if it was the reason for my being so stressed and in need of a break from the city lately…

Hmm…

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Today

Today, I had delicious food and beverage, provided by my cousin.

I was upgraded for free to a rental car that was more than double the price of what I reserved, and is much nicer and fancier and comfier.

And the guy gave me an extra 5% discount for a hassle I had in picking up the car (some locations are closed, and the reservation said that someone would be in touch, if I needed to go to a difference location, but no one got in touch to tell me to go to a different location. So, we showed up and found a son in the door, which indicated what nearby location was open, and we went there instead.).

It is a Jeep, and I am excited.

And the plates remind me of a good friend of mine!

And I started my period today, and day two is the day on which I have to go to the bathroom somewhat constantly…, so that was a bit of irony for me, – I had wanted to be past day two by the time I arrived to my brother’s house, you see – but it’ll be okay.

Also, I have to stop for an hour at nine in the morning to tutor somewhere that has good cell service… aka a real city.

My options are 2:45, 4:16, and 5:50 away (hours:minutes)… so, we’ll see what happens with my bathroom breaks overnight tonight, and that will determine if I leave for the farther-away locations, or just the nearest one… :/

Anyway… off to sleep now!!

Wish me safe and happy travels for tomorrow! 😉 ❤

Post-a-day 2020

Oklahoma, OK

And so the adventure has begun…

I had a bit of a cry fest this morning, on the phone with my mom, after I asked her to help me clear my mental space, and prepare myself fully for this whole trip.

I couldn’t handle the packing and all, and hadn’t yet started almost any of it, because the sheer volume of what all needed to be done to be gone for three plus weeks was really starting to stress me out… and I had only determined this the day beforehand, and gotten home late that night, after sitting and waiting for hours at one place, and then sitting in absurd traffic that supported the unfortunate and extreme unconsciousness on which our country tends to run, for another couple hours.

And I needs to leave home by 1pm.

So, I was stressed in terms of packing, to say the least.

Add to that my intense stress that has had me feel such an urge and almost-need to take this road trip ok the first place…, and we have some rather intense and almost incomprehensible levels and quantities of stress… it’s no wonder I was asking for help.

But, I used a lot of tissues, and I cleaned out my sinuses really well, and, though my mom went on tangents at times, the clearing really helped me to clear the space for myself, and get to work… and not just get to work, but get to work excited about it all.

And I left well after one… more like 2:35pm…

But I am here.

And I am happy to be here.

And my cousin is happy to have me here.

And I am going to sleep now.

Goodnight. 🙂

Post-a-day 2020