Uh-oh, or just Ugh?

My body is worn out right now, and it rather has been all day. Sure, I ate a solid amount of food that wasn’t so great for my body over the past few weeks. But, man, has it really been hitting me hard today for my menstruation. I mean, really, I have had almost no energy or desire to do anything but curl up in bed, and possibly cry, too, as I fall back to sleep.

It’s amazing what food can do, both for the good and the bad health of the body. This 21-day cleanse has come just in time from the gym this weekend. Today was Day 1.

Despite feeling dreadfully exhausted today – and I’m almost certain it is all menstruation and food, as opposed to any actual illness -, I actually accomplished much. Spent time with a friend while we wifi-worked in a bake shop / coffee shop this morning, after working out, of course. I got great groceries. I applied to two remote jobs with Duolingo – I don’t fully qualify for either, but I applied anyway, because I want to work for that company, plus I want better work here for the time being. And I scheduled a birthday breakfast for my dad with my siblings tomorrow morning. And now my brain is finished working for the day. So, goodnight, all.

Post-a-day 2022

(Barely^)

Alas, Mass

Tonight, I attended Mass with one of my best friends. I forget how much we have in common when we are apart. But then we find ourselves talking after Mass, discovering that we both cried at this Mass we had both wanted and needed, and, oh, right, we both use celsius temperatures, and we both blah, blah, blah… it’s really cool. I am extremely grateful that we get to live together again, come February. I am also extremely grateful that we have Church together. It is becoming a thing for her to join me for Mass, and, judging by this evening’s service, I think it most certainly will continue and will pick up immensely in frequency. And I think we both are grateful for that.

Thank you, God and Universe. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

(Oops… almost got it wrong again)

Working it out

In a somewhat bizarre way, my path has felt rather clear today. Things have been odd, compared to usual and typical, but I just rather rolled with them as they were and as I found myself feeling about them (without making it mean anything bad). I spoke up where I felt was important and valuable for me to do so, and that was great. And I felt heard, too, which was an awesome plus to those times.

Thank you, God and Universe, for the guidance today.

It is now raining and getting cold out again, and lightning keeps occasionally popping up brightly and grumblingly from a distance. I am sitting in bed, preparing to go to sleep. And I am looking forward to sleeping, yes. I also am satisfied with today.

Thank you, God and Universe, for all of it, especially the company tonight and the home they have had me join. Thank you for this love. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

All the little things

And then all the little things come together to give that little, wholesome, undeniable nudge. Suddenly, everything seems much simpler and easier – there is much less worry to be had, and life seems… lighter. Things aren’t solved or resolved. But they aren’t exactly a problem anymore. And, for now, that is enough for gratitude and much easier, freer breathing.

Thank you, God and Universe. Please continue to help me to be Your love in the world. Guide me with clarity to the embodiment of Your love through this life. In Your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

(Barely got it)

Yikes

Talk about an explosion of emotion… today has certainly had that. Rather, this evening has had that. I have been working on paying attention to and trusting the energetic feelings and pulls I have in life, as they have proven disastrous when ignored and spectacular when followed, especially lately. My whole housing situation would have been a million times worse if I hadn’t followed the weird feelings I was having around that and that I ‘needed to be out of there by just before Christmas, or before the end of the year, or just after the new year started’. That’s exactly what ended up happening, and it only was relayed to me as being so the week of Christmas. I thank God and the Universe that they had given me a lease to sign not only thirty minutes before that dreadful phone call. Sure, it leaves me without my own home for seven weeks, but it gives me a chance to experience life differently and to be living in gratitude and love with my friend who has offered me a temporary home with her loving family.

Anyway, what came up today, especially the part around this one job I have, has been hitting kind of hard for me. Something about it has a really nasty feeling to it. And I use the word “nasty” specifically, as that is the word that feels appropriate for this feeling – it just feels nasty, somehow. It seems that I have a few days before I have to determine what to do for this work thing. Dear God and Universe, please, help me to see entirely clearly what action to take on my part, that I may be Your love in the world in all that I do and in all that I am. Guide me wholly, please. In Your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Gratitude, unbidden yet ever-welcome

And then, one day, you receive a letter in the mail – well, more like a trim-folded piece of notebook paper – that reads, “We sold our company! This non-taxable gift is a token of our appreciation for everything you have done for us and for being down with us through the years[…]” And, what’s placed within that once trim-folded piece of paper? A check for ten thousand dollars.

Dear God and Universe, might I have something fabulous like that happen in my life? Help me, please, to make such a difference in the lives of those around me that they would want and be able to give such a token of gratitude to me one day. Bless them so abundantly through me, please. Help me to be Your love fully. In Your name I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

(Barely got it right)

Some skin at the gym

Two or three fingertips press gently on my skin, just above my left hip, halfway between my hip an dry navel. Two or three others do the same on the outer edge of my right side waist. I am in a workout bra and leggings, and the skin-to-skin contact is like a jolt of electricity to my body. But not in a sexual way. It is in an empowering way, as though that contact literally has given my body more power.

We are at the gym, in the middle of the strength part of the workout, transitioning to the second half of the strength work. The hands of the fingers belong to a slightly older man who loves me, just as I am. I love him, too. He was gently preventing us from colliding as we passed one another, and several other people were suddenly right around us, doing the same thing, nearly running into one another. Everyone, of course, just barely misses collision, likely thanks to several hands gently guiding their owners and others away from one another. And, like I said, it wasn’t sexual, those fingertips on my skin. But it was certainly sensual, lighting me up with capability and power. I could feel the spots where they touched for hours afterward, continuously reaping further rewards from that small yet impactful energetic exchange. Thank you for the love, my body kept saying, almost like a mantra, both to me and to him. Thank you for that.

And, golly, it was wonderful. I am grateful. Thank you, God, and thank you , Universe. Please, continue to bless me with Your love, and continue to guide me to be Your love in the world. In Your name I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

(Barely got it!)

Home-y

Well, it feels like I have a home for the present. Thank you, God and Universe, for this amazing and loving friend. I am on my mattress on the floor of a previously empty room that now has odd bags and suitcases and such of my poorly packed clothes and necessities… and it actually feels like a for-now home. I am extremely grateful. Thank you for the immense love here. Help me to continue to be your love. In Your name I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

(Totally messed ^ it up again)

Arawareru

あらわ

現れる

This is the phrase I have selected for my kakizome this year. Or, rather, we have selected to work together and to spend much time together this year. The fist kanji (Chinese character used in Japanese) is made of two separate kanji. One, 王, means “king; rule; magnate”. The other, 見, means “see; hopes; chances; idea; opinion; visible”. Together as they are, they mean, “present; existing; actual,” and this kanji is pronounced “arawa”. Now, combined with the two kana that follow this kanji, the whole pronunciation is “arawareru,” and it means, “to embody; to appear; to come into sight; to materialize/materialise; to become visible; to come out”. This year, I am all about embodiment in my life – I want to cause to happen all of these wonderful things towards which I have been called and for which I have been longing in my life. God, please, give me the grace this year to embody Your love through manifesting clearly and materializing fully my dreams. In Your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

(Almost missed it! ^)

1 January, folks

It is the first of January in the year 2022. How absurdly bizarre is that????! It just sounds like the future. Frankly, the 1980s seem closer to now than 2022. And yet here we are, in the faraway year of 2022, with the 80s…, well, a long time past.

I almost feel out of place, anachronistic in this world right now… and in more ways than one. That song I wrote recently is really big for me right now, with its whole thing on feeling I don’t belong and people not needing to be colorblind but just plain loving and kind, to see people for who they are instead of what they are. ::sighhhhhhhhh

Thank you, God, for this life. Please, with the Universe, help me to be Your love and to step forward fully and courageously all the days (and nights and sunrises and sunsets and moments of infinities) of my life. Help me, please, to find clearly my intention for this year, the year 2022 and Reiwa 4, that I might express it through my kakizome tomorrow, which will guide, support, empower, and remind me all throughout this year. Give me Your divine message tomorrow as I discover my kakizome for this year and begin to implement and be it tomorrow. In Your name I pray. Amen.

P.S. This is the first year in a very long time – a hundred years, in fact – that will not have had the wonderful woman of Betty White in it. Thank you, (God and) Betty, for all that you did and all the love that came out of your existence and how you shared yourself so lovingly with the world at large and at small. Thank you.

Post-a-day 2021

(Clearly, that ^ is not correct…)

Post-a-day 2022

(Wow, that seems weird!)