Tag: surprise

March 2

Firstly, Happy Texas Independence Day!! 186 years ago today, Texas gained its independence from Mexico and became a Republic, The Republic of Texas. When it later agreed to join The Union, it maintained the right to fly its flag at equal height with the US flag, for it joined as an independent republic.

On that note, the Texas state sport is rodeo. My mom and I went to the rodeo tonight. I attended seminars all day for the Ranching and Wildlife Expo, which were awesome, and my mom joined me for the last couple, which included demonstrations and dinner from and by Prasek’s Family Smokehouse. Talk about fascinating and delicious… I got to see how to cut up a deer and a wild pig, and then I got to eat deer tamales and sausage. Wowza.

Before all that, though, when I was on a break from the sessions, I stopped at the military area at the rodeo, and ended up doing the Marines challenge on the pull-up bar. Apparently, pull-ups and chin-ups are both allowed, but I’m too much of a purist for chin-ups in a (technically) pull-up challenge. I ended up tying with the leaderboard score for females, but I was truly proud of my awesome and strict pull-ups, all will full extension and NO legs. It was a fascinating and oddly fulfilling experience to have a handful of Marines counting allowed for me as I did them. (It was also satisfying to hear their initial reactions of support to witnessing my first pull-up, as they realized that I wasn’t just some average girl in a dress.) The Sargent told me, “You have to earn this shirt.” And I did. And it was awesome. I’m the back, it has my childhood quote: Pain is weakness leaving the body. I love it (even though it’s dry fit!).

Finally, do you ever have those days where you get homely consider if you just want to skip brushing your teeth and go straight to bed? Tonight was one of those nights for me. Of course, I likely never would do that, but the consideration arose today, and big time. I am worn. out.

Goodnight!!

Post-a-day 2022

Boxes

Talk about being a dope…

A coworker once said that, in order to teach sophomore boys, you have to be a bit of an idiot yourself. Put differently, you have to be in touch with your goofy, childlike fun side. I have thought much on this ever since he said it, and I come more and more to the same conclusion: that I was practically made for teaching ‘those idiots’, as he called them.

You see, I already struggle to keep a straight face at much of their idiocy in class. I purposely put the silly numbers and phrases into aural tests and quizzes, just to watch them struggle not to laugh. I joke with them at times. (Granted, I also totally tear into them, if they ever actually step out of line, but we tend to have fun in class more so than not, all while actually learning.) Things like that had me feel already that it made sense that I loved teaching the sophomores.

And I think it also plays into teaching the high school boys in general, though. They all require a certain level of being in touch with one’s inner idiocy.

Now, why is this all on my mind today in particular?

Well, I’m moving, right? My mom was handing me one last box for me to take to load up books from the storage unit this morning. And, of course, when she hands me this empty box, what is my natural response? I almost immediately flip it forward toward myself, and set it upside down on my head, like some childhood imagination boat captain hat. No hesitation either… I just stuck it on my head, and wondered after the fact at how odd or uncommon it must be for a grown woman to be wearing a box like a hat… 😛

Upon considering it, all I could really think was, ‘Wow…, I really am made to work with these dopes.’

P.S. I didn’t even think of it until just now, when I was actually doing it, but I also jump into my bed like a massive child most nights… my mattress is on the floor at present (though it isn’t usually), and I typically jump onto it like some superhero landing to save the day, power stance and all… talk about being in touch with the inner child, right?? 😛 Haha

Post-a-day 2022

Trust

God, I trust you.

Today, I went to help/volunteer at a track and field meet. I verbally signed up in response to a sort of challenge back in November – something about how I didn’t have a problem with early mornings, and so didn’t think I would struggle with their schedule…, I think. I had been told (and write in my calendar and verbally confirmed) that we needed to be there at 5am to set up. Turns out, it was actually 5:30am, which is rather different so early in the morning.

My friend had asked me why I even was going, when we were watching the Olympics the night before, and I’d said I had to go to bed, even though I’d wanted to keep watching. She said that since I didn’t have to be there, then why was I even going, since I had an alternative of staying up to watch Olympics and spend time with her. I considered it, but it was only moments for me to be 100% clear that I truly wanted to go to this meet and that I felt a real calling to be there (and to be on time and do the whole thing).

And getting there too early actually worked out perfectly, because it then became a whole silly and impressive thing that I was possibly the first person ever to arrive before this one particular coach.

The day as a whole was awesome. I felt throughout my whole being that I was where I needed to be today, on every level. It was spectacular. Oh, God, thank you for this amazing blessing. I am awed by the glory of this whole experience and the love I truly was given through it today. Thank you. Amen. Please, help me to continue to have such experiences, where I can feel that I am exactly where I need to be and where I am needed, exactly when I need to be there. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Rest in the knowledge

‘I mean, I love him, but if he’s not going to take his fitness seriously, then it’s not ever gonna happen,’ she says with casual comfort and clear honesty. ‘If he won’t even stretch, then no way…’ She is not upset in what she says, nor is she concerned. For her, it is clear that, if he isn’t the one, then he just isn’t the one, and she’s totally okay not spending any strain, stress, or brainpower on wishing, hoping, or dreaming for him to be the one. If he’s not, he’s not, and there’s someone better out there. If he is, then he’ll make it clear that he is, which will include caring about his well-being and honoring his own body. How can we love another, if we cannot love ourselves?

Be not afraid. God is with us, even and especially when we feel so utterly alone on the partner/relationship front. God, grant me the serenity to be your love in the world, even and especially in the face of no agreement in my life. Help me to do what only I can do to share your love in the world. Help me to fulfill on all I am capable of doing in this life, through your will and help. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

(Still have to think about that year…)

Cookies

My girlfriend said her husband didn’t need the cookies, so to eat or take as many as I wanted. So, I took loads. I think she made around 40 cookies. I probably ate ten of them. I left four for her husband. Maybe he had a couple last night already. I took a box of them to school and made the day of several girls – they were certainly surprised to be getting delicious homemade chocolate chip cookies when they showed up to class! Then, I took another box-full of them to the boys’ soccer game tonight, and they delighted in the cookies after the games. One small act of love – my friend baking cookies for me to enjoy on Valentine’s Day – turned into exponentially larger acts of love. Put differently, this loved expressed by one person to another turned into love experienced by roughly 30 different people. And my friend doesn’t even know about it yet.

So, just remember that our love is way more powerful and impactful than we may ever know or likely ever could imagine. And it is always worth it to love, even when it seems almost insignificant.

Post-a-day 2022

(Yeah, almost got the year wrong again… I guess we are going back in time now…)

Burning my a

Tonight, something burned away from me. Big time.

We had a whole day of events at church today, and it was really cool, right? Well, it all ended with Mass and then Adoration. For those who don’t know, Adoration is when a priest brings out the blessed sacrament and puts it on display for folks to adore. Put differently, it is an opportunity for people to sit in a physical presence of God, to look right at a physical form of Him. (The blessed sacrament is bread that has undergone transubstantiation, a change of form/state, into the exact form that was the bread Jesus, way back when in the Garden of Gethsemane, declared to be his body. The priests have a beautiful right – is it actually called a right?? Now, I’m doubting myself here… – in which they recreate Jesus’ words and actions, allowing for the bread and wine to become the body and blood of Christ, just as they were when Jesus declared them to be his body and blood.) It’s like having someone here in person, instead of over the phone – prayer, aka conversation, with one sitting right in front of us.

During Adoration tonight, there was some music, some prayer led aloud, and some silence. For part of the time, the blessed sacrament sat on the altar for all to see. And, eventually, the priests and deacons carried it slowly around the entire church – it’s a quite large church, you see – for everyone to be able to pray right up close to the blessed sacrament.

I tell you, every time I got to see it straight on, clearly, I suddenly lost the capacity to sing. All I experienced in those moments was intensity through my whole being, like a current being upped immensely in power. The words that suddenly filled my head were simply, “Love,” and, “My Love.” Every time.

And then, when it came around by us – I was even on the end of the pew, and they stopped almost exactly next to me – things went to a whole new level. As it turned the corner onto our aisle, my breathing became inexplicably heavy and fast. My tears turned into heavy, intense crying. I was in a sudden full-blown, desperation-type cry in mere moments. We were already kneeling, and I couldn’t even keep myself up – I fell to the ground… or, rather, I went from sitting tall on my knees to collapsing on my heels, holding onto the pew to keep myself from falling off the kneeler, my chin just above even with the pew back where I was holding myself still upright, but lower to the ground than before.

When they were within about a meter or two, I felt a sudden heat approaching me, coming from their direction. As they got next to me, I felt like the intensity of a sun was exploding outward from the small group of priests as deacons, the blessed sacrament at the center. My entire body was intensely hot, in a matter of moments and directly connected to the position of the blessed sacrament. As I roughly cried my heart out, my whole body shaking, I could feel something burning away from me, layers being penetrated and spots being dissolved in the crazy heat. It felt like a fever times two. I considered how I needed to take off my sweatshirt, also the jacket that had been covering the backs of my legs… yet I couldn’t make a move beyond crying and clinging to the pew, looking directly to the blessed sacrament, struggling to breathe calmly (and failing). I even felt one priest notice and look right at me as I fell downward, but I didn’t even look at him as I typically would do. I was pinned.

And then, this small eternity in the cosmos ended. The priests and deacons began to walk again, moving to the next spot. As they moved away, I could feel the temperature changing by small jolts with each step they took. Perhaps thirty seconds or so later, I found no need to remove my sweatshirt, as it was back to the winter cool it had been all day in the church.

And I collapsed even further, like all my energy had been spent, like after a long, long day of work and a nice cleansing shower, how I collapse into bed… it felt like that. I could barely even hold onto the pew back at this point, I just draped an arm on it to keep me from collapsing fully to the floor. My eyes could just see over the pew back, following the blessed sacrament still, but from a distance now. All my energy was gone. I had been well worn, it felt, well washed and scrubbed and cleaned. I tried singing a bit, and could only manage it when I couldn’t see the blessed sacrament directly. Every time I saw it, no sound was emitted from me, now matter how I may have intended.

I eventually got my energy restored and was even more energetic afterward than I had been all day today. My mom was asking the main priest about a quote afterward, and I joined them briefly as I returned from a bathroom trip. The priest recognized me from adoration – he remembered seeing me crying. I wasn’t embarrassed. Not in the least.

And I noticed that I felt so much more myself now, not so afraid or strained or stressed about anything anymore. Weight had been lifted, and from all of me, somehow. Now, I’m going to bed much later than I like or than usual. I am utterly exhausted. I do not know what is going to happen with my living situation or my financial situation. Nope. And, somehow, I’m not secretly incredibly stressed about that. We’ll just face that tomorrow and onward. May God’s way manifest clearly and beautifully, and may I embody it fully through myself in every way.

Post-a-day 2022

Gratitude, Dude

I was a bit nervous leading up to today, as I was going to be subbing with the boys again. It had been a while since I’d been with this school, and I’d gotten accustomed to working with the girls lately. I was slightly afeared.

However, by the end of taking role in my first class of the day, I was clear just how perfect it was that I was there today. I love these boys. Within the first few minutes of class, without even trying, they had made me feel so unequivocally at home, I was feeling a sense of total ease, belonging, and love. Yes, they are dopes. And I absolutely love them for it. Don’t get me wrong here: Girls are great. But there is just something about how I’m made that just has the boys feel so much more right for me. Even as a kid, I was more comfortable playing with and being friends with the boys than with the girls. Perhaps it was due in part to my siblings closest in age being boys. I always felt more distant from my sisters, what with there being a nine-year and 11-year age gap between us. Compare that to the three boys that were only seven, six, and four years older than I was, and it makes a bit more sense that I ended up a total tomboy throughout my childhood. I also just prefer the honesty and directness of males, as well as their willingness to be goofy. That makes a big difference for me, too, and played a big role in my seeking out male friendships over the years and to this day.

Anyway, thank you, God, for this blessing that has been today. It was glorious. May I continue to be part of the beautiful formation You are offering these boys here. In Your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Opera

Tonight, we saw a very unique production of The Magic Flute. It was awesome, but also rather bizarre. Rather than being a typical opera production, this one was done with inspiration from 1920s silent films. So, a massive white screen was the stage backdrop, and a projector created every scene, props and all, and a good chunk of characters, too. Pieces of the white screen would flip around like trap doors, revealing a person halfway up it or at the bottom or near the top, depending on the situation, and the projector would make their appearances and locations all make sense. They interacted with parts moving around in the projections all throughout, and it was really well done. Also, instead of spoken dialogue, they projected large words onto the screen itself, like in silent films, and had Mozart harpsichord pieces playing as the music, really making it feel like a silent film. And the actors as did a wonderful job of being believable in their roles in the film – it was stellar. And the Queen of the Night was the best singing performance I have ever attended for that role. Just wow…

Go check it out this week at Houston Grand Opera, if you’re in Houston!

Post-a-day 2022

White

My skin has gotten so dried out that it truly had a layer of white on top… the dead skin cells, I suppose, that did not get their needed hydration (or, rather, were stripped of that hydration by soap and dry winter air).

Guess I really ought to be better about putting the oils on after showering now, when my skin is still all wet from the shower. I’ve just been so focused on my hands not getting all bloody, everything else with my skin has kind of taken a back burner… :/

Post-a-day 2022