Tag: goals

Life being Nuts

It almost magical how much something seemingly permanency can change in a short time.

Just two weeks ago, I was noticing how few guys seemed to be in my life (not dating-wise, but just at all), and how I missed having males around.

As of tonight, it feels as though guys are overflowing in my life, and in various ways (though surprisingly many of them have made clear efforts to date me).

Life is crazy (as though I don’t already know that), and totally worth it (I’ve know that one for quite a while, too). 🙂

Post-a-day 2018

Where we belong

Today, I was reminded that I am exactly where I belong right now… Just like when I let go of things having to look a certain way when I lived in France – when I acknowledged that the exact French life was not for me, because, well, I’m not French – and I could just be myself (while, of course, still being respectful of and to those around me), I ran into the people whom I liked best.  I started going where I liked to go and doing what I liked to do, and friends showed up.  I had failed at making friends by trying to be French, so I stuck with being myself truly, and friends popped up all over the place, better than I ever could have expected.

And today was just like that, but on a miniature scale.  I was doing what I felt was the right thing for me to be doing, and I followed my heart and intuition while doing it… and that led me to a wonderful person (someone about whom I have been wondering a lot lately, but whom I haven’t seen in years!).  As we chatted, walking together to the person’s yoga class, I felt as though this one encounter was perfect for me and my life, and that it had a positive impact on that person’s day and life, too.  It was like one of those feel-good movie moments, those “meet-cute” situations, where the music is happy and everyone leaves the scene feeling better than ever about life in general.  My being the main character of the scene, I especially felt wonderful about life – things are still totally insane right now, but I can see that that’s really okay for right now.  It’s going to be even more amazing than I ever could have imagined, and so I just need to stick with moving forward in what feels right, and let go of being so tear-prone angsty and totally freaking out on such a regular basis (except actually… that’s no joke, though it totally makes me laugh).

Yeah… so I’m trusting what feels like the right path, even though it’s terrifying right now. It serves no one when I am so stressed and panicky as I have been, least of all myself.  And I want to take care of myself, so that I can do all of these extraordinary things I’ve been dreaming up, and better.  ðŸ˜‰

Post-a-day 2018

Tears of fear and laughter

I was all set to write something good, using my computer…, but the internet is, yet again, not working properly, so I got pushed back to my phone for a short bit of thumb tapping instead (because I like two spaces after my periods in writing, and the phone application doesn’t allow such a thing).

Life can be tough and miserable, or it can be tough and comical… I think I’ll aim for the latter this week, since this small incident is one tiny straw on this bundle that feels like it’s breaking my camel’s back…

Post-a-day 2018

Life

The Universe gives us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it.

Period.

Today, I needed a reminder of the magic that abounds, and I was granted that reminder thoroughly and beautifully.

I was even declared an interpreter by someone who didn’t even know that languages are a prominent part of my life, nor that I know more than one language.

And, on my way home this evening, just to let myself free in having fun, I sang a free-flowing song in a language I don’t entirely understand (yet, anyway)…. and it, too, was magical.

Yes, today has been magical, magic-filled from the Universe.

Thank you

Post-a-day 2018

What happened today

I got out of bed at 3:45am, and met my friend outside at about 4:10am to drive to the airport.

I flew in an airplane to Chicago, where I met my cousins and then drove to Wisconsin.

We met with my brother and his friend at Devil’s Lake, and then hiked about six miles together around the lake.

We admired willingly the spectacular and deep-breathing-inspiring colors of the Fall, and awed at a Bald Eagle who flew over the lake for a bit.

We checked into our joined suite rooms, and then dunes down the street at an all-you-can-eat Mongolian stir-fry place, each eating more than we’d intended.

We gathered in the joined living area of the suite rooms, sipped digestifs, chatted about nonsense, played ukulele, practiced/learned some yoga and some acro-yoga, talked about nerd stuff, joked about my brother’s classmates back in college who argued about some terms in calculus, cracked up when my cousins began to argue about those terms in calculus, and consciously enjoyed our collective company.

I chatted more with my brother as he prepared for bed and I, unknowingly, was locked out of my room.

We laughed, and, eventually, I gained access back into my room with my cousins.

My cousin and I listened to voicemails from our grandparents, filled with wholesome delight.

I took the first good shower I’ve had in months (since the one where I’m living has been quite the nonsensical mess since I moved in there), and reminisced about Japanese onsen while I untangled a crazy knot in my extremely long hair.

I earned another badge in my Fitbit, because I walked over 22,000 steps today.

I stayed awake and in a good mood for over 19 hours.

I breathed easily almost the entire day, for the first time in a long while (it has felt, anyway).

I was myself, and so were the others, and we were spectacular.

I and we did good today, both grammatically correctly and incorrectly. 😉

Post-a-day 2018

What Hannah Found

I began reading last night a book that I had loved as a young girl… and I have found many similarities between myself and the main character…

Have I developed myself based on this character, though most of the details had long been forgotten, or did I originally like the book because I already related so much to the main character?

It kind of feels like I’m asking myself the deepest of psychological questions…

But it also feels like I’m asking myself a ‘chicken or the egg’ kind of question…

Post-a-day 2018

The person I want to be climbed rocks

I went bouldering in an indoor rock gym tonight.  It hurts now in my hands, in a very ‘ouch’ way.  My palms felt like fire when I showered in the warm water, and it felt like I was rubbing them raw when I was merely soaping up my body and washing my hair.  I imagine that even more of my body will ache tomorrow, in a good way.  I’m glad I went climbing with this old friend.  Apparently I am terrified of jumping down while facing a wall… I’d never noticed that it made a difference to me, jumping down from something forward versus backward… I guess I just hadn’t ever considered a blind and backward jump for anything before tonight.  Anyway…

And now, since I gave the girls an assignment on it today when subbing for creative writing, I’ll throw in a bit of free poetry, slam style, but typed…

I got a few scrapes and bumps,
and even drew blood on one skinning spot.
But I climbed a lot
for having done
little comparable activity
in the past several months.

And it felt good.
And I felt like I was being
the person I wanted to be.
The person I want to be.
Yes.  The person I want to be.
Me,
myself, and I are good people,
but there’s more to me
to who I want to be.
And she
yes, she
stopped in to smile tonight
to show how I might
could be.
Truly.
Would that she
come sooner
and wait no longer,
but it is I who must go to her.
Let it go, let it go, just let it all go…
Or Beatles-ly
let it be…
then shall I be she
proud and powerful and humble and beautiful
as can be,
being the person I want to be.

 

Post-a-day 2018