Tag: food

Fitness vs Fatness

Am I at the focus, or is something else the A-liner? Fitness or Fatness? Lately, I have not been at the center – my health and well-being, this body that carries my soul, my spirit, in this lifetime. Lately, my tongue’s and memory’s desires have been the center of my food. It is no wonder I have had much more fatness than fitness in my life lately.

I have been wanting it more and more, but have yet to turn the tides fully over the past several months… I wonder what has been missing for me to do that… is it a question of self-worth in the midst of having to create self-motivation to create the time and the energy and effort for fitness all on my own? I think I have always reached out somehow when I have gotten to a point in fitness/fatness at which I do not want to be any longer. But turning to the groups is not exactly an option right now where I live, and also how I live (aka I can’t afford to spend the money on the one place where I could do the group fitness right now). But I also do not genuinely want to reach out this time. I want to resolve whatever this has been within me that I continue to have stop me from fitting myself (as I like to say in my head… or, also, fitnessing myself). And so, I will not join that gym. Right now, I’m a bit too tired to function effectively enough to work through all of this, but I intend to continue this conversation with myself tomorrow, and to search for and find those uncomfortable parts that I have allowed to run me for these past several years.

At that, goodnight! 😉

Post-a-day 2020

Huzzah!

Well, the food and the film were a total success. AND I loved them both, and also the company.

I made fried wild rice, butternut squash noodle lo mein, and orange chicken (optional) and veggies – Chinese take-out, but homemade and paleo. The fried rice could have even been enough for any of us for the whole meal, but I wanted a spread. However, I am always very delighted and even a touch proud of myself for making the eggs the right way for the fried rice. It still blows my mind whenever I think about how to do it, and I am yet again grateful for my acrobat friend for showing me how to do it back on the train that one day. **gratitude**

Anyway, the food was amazing and bourgie, and we all loved it and managed no photos, despite the fact that it all was beautiful food. Everything was colorful and lovely to see, but also delicious to smell and eat.

And then we all really enjoyed the film. Sure, there were parts all over the place that were poorly done (e.g. animation, sequencing, transitions…), but it overall was really great, the setting was bea-utiful, and the music was very nicely managed. Also, the accents were all quite reassuring – yes, the primary audience is an American English one, but that doesn’t mean the characters have to sound like they live here. I am glad they had genuine Chinese-based accents, and names were still pronounced properly, even though everyone was speaking English. Just because the language spoken is changed doesn’t mean the culture has to disappear. Good job, Disney. We all enjoyed it tonight, and we all are grateful for your efforts. Thank you.

P.S. Links to the recipes for the lo mein and the orange chicken sauces I made 😉

Post-a-day 2020

Mulan

Tomorrow night, we will be watching Mulan (the live-action, not the animated) for the first time. While we aren’t sure about dressing up – yes, we do dress to theme when we see films and shows in theatres, so we have no reason not to do it at home, too, right now – we are planning to have Chinese food for dinner. Since, however, we all prefer to follow more the paleo type of diet, I am brainstorming options of easy-to-prepare-by-myself dishes. I’ve done the chicken fried wild rice before, so that’s on the list. All I need to add are eggs* and carrots, which are easy enough to procure. I’m wondering if an egg-drop soup could be possible, or something like szechuan veggies or something… Going to check with a friend of mine who cooks bourgie stuff, too, and who happens to be Chinese. I think she might have some tried and true ideas. Fingers crossed!

*Fun fact: When I spent all that time with the acrobats, I learned on the train how to cook eggs the way Chinese people do for fried rice – never how I would have guessed, but I am super glad I learned it, because it is delicious! Also, I realize that could be referring to either how I learned to cook it or how it is actually cooked – both were never how I would have guessed, so I guess the unclear statement was, in fact, true, no matter the interpretation! 😛 (Slash, yes, hashtag nerd/dork, I know.) 😀

Post-a-day 2020

Stuff… and stuff

I am thinking that, so long as I aim to fulfill any specific desire with anything other than exactly what I want, I will end up with much more than I want filling the space around me – both energetically and physically – and I will be forever unsatisfied in that desire.

That’s part of why trying to fit the bill for a part just never works out for the best. It might feel good for a while, but it eventually catches up with me, and I feel somewhat miserable until I sort things out back to being fully true to myself and who I am and who I want to be.

Yeah… thoughts for bed tonight… 😉

Post-a-day 2020

Belly, belly

That digestion still hasn’t worked itself out entirely. I lay in bed for close to an hour just now, my laptop on its side in front of me, as I watched the beginning of an interesting-so-far film about Versailles.  I could not fathom doing anything other than lying on my side, carefully placing my belly in a position that didn’t hurt quite so much as all the rest of the possible positions.  So, that is exactly what I did for a while.  But, I am rather exhausted, possibly in part due to this belly and digestion stuff and also the struggled sleep I had last night because of it all already.  So, I’ll ready myself the rest of the way for bed now, and get on into it for sleep.  I can finish watching the movie another time.

Dear Lord and God and World, please, heal my stomach tonight, that I might be happy, healthy, holy when I awaken tomorrow morning, and proceed to share love in the world, especially by means of my knowledge and my creativity.  Thank you, and amen.  😉 ❤ ❤ ❤

Post-a-day 2020

Bellyache

Well, today was it. Or so my internal goals say, anyway. I am done eating gluten for now. I feel terrible every time I have it, especially when combined with the other stuff I would prefer not eating. I had already intended today to be the last day of it – you see, my weekly source of free food has finished, at last, and that food was always gluten-filled – but just based on how wretched I feel right now and have felt the past several hours this evening, I am so over it all. I’m actually quite prone to go ahead and clip out all the stuff again, and just go back to eating how I felt really quite good last year. It wasn’t as spectacular as raw vegan felt, but it was the closest I’ve ever gotten since then. Plus, I’m not to have meat or fish or eggs where I live, anyway, so there’s no reason not to do the whole raw vegan ingredient diet again (meaning raw vegan food, but it can be cooked as desired).

Yes, that would feel really good on my body, I think. Even if I just do it as a cleanse for a couple weeks to reboot myself and my systems, it likely would be awesome for me. Plus, it certainly would help me let go of this excess fat that has been hanging around lately. Super bonus there.

Many levels of awesome would be achieved, yes.

On that note, I bid you a good night. May your digestion and mine be easy tonight.

Post-a-day 2020

Smash of a day

Well, today was interesting.  Not because of what I did, but how I felt about what I did, both while doing it and now, at the end of the day.

You see, I woke up around six this morning, and discovered after a bit that I definitely wasn’t going back to sleep.  There had been a Romeo & Juliet film I’d been interested in seeing, but had determined not to watch last night.  So, I pulled it up and started it.  After the marriage, though, when the scene began that was basically guaranteed to end with Romeo’s cousin dying – T was a jerk, in my opinion, so I never seemed to mind so much about him – I was done.  It was cute, but I was over the production, and not interested in watching the rest of the sad story in such an un-intriguing presentation.

Scrolling through quickly to find something else to keep me company as I prepared possibly to fall back asleep after a while, I came across the show Smash.  I’ve seen the preview for it every time I’ve watched the Burlesque dvd (the one with Christina Aguilera), and have been longing to watch the show ever since that first time.  It’s a story all about these people in NYC creating a musical focused around Marylin Monroe.

Suffice it to say that I was sucked in.  AND there have been several surprised members of the cast, whom I know from other films or stage productions (e.g. Jack Davenport [Commodore Norrington] and Leslie Odom, Jr. [Aaron Burr, sir]).  That has been amazing, along with the show itself being well written and well directed and produced, and the songs and voices are fabulous.  I’m a huge fan of this show.  And, in case you didn’t know, I’m not a huge fan of almost any shows.

So, I watched this show four about four hours this morning, at which point I joined my mom in her vehicle – mine is having its tires replaced – and dropped her off at work, before going to Costco.  There, I loaded up on groceries – I know, but it’s actually fabulous for groceries – and then got myself a slice of pepperoni pizza to celebrate a belated pepperoni pizza day from this week, as well as a hot dog, which came with a free fountain drink.  So, I got some ice and a bit of Sierra Mist, and then filled the rest of the cup with Pepsi (not many options, really).  

After I unloaded the groceries from the cart into the car, I sat in the car and dove in… and that pizza and hot dog and soda were one of the most satisfying meals I have had in quite a while.  As my mom said, it was an “opioid survival mechanism”, and I knew it, but I didn’t mind it at all.  I’ve been managing my calories lately, for positive health purposes (of course! I’ve actually had a really beautiful development in everything with my food lately, and I’ve been excited to be taking such better care of myself… anyway…), and I was starting to feel that I’d been just a bit lower on my intake than I wanted to be the past couple or few days, so I understood completely my sudden cravings for high-calorie, meat-packed food.

Two meals and about 1500 calories later, I was utterly satisfied, and times two.

I then got my mom’s car back to her and got back home, whereupon I continued watching Smash, eventually ate a banana and sipped some orange juice to take my evening supplements, showered, and then went right back to the show.  Finally, when an episode ended just after midnight, and on a high note for me, I closed it up fo rate night.  I have to be awake and functioning too early tomorrow to be staying up any later.

So, it may seem that the only “good” part of my day was the grocery shopping.  However, I truly think and believe that my entire day today was really great.  Well, my actions today.  Falling down the stairs was totally not cool, but I’m grateful I was turned just enough to land exactly on the meaty part of my left rear cheek – it hurt, and a lot, but it was the most forgiving spot the stair could have picked to make first contact with my body (before sliding me down a ways).  Anyway, this show-watching and pizza- and hotdog-eating day of mine was actually really great for me.  I’ve been actively working on myself in a lot of ways, several of which are rather newer approaches and such… and it hasn’t been easy.  And today was possibly the first time that I was genuinely okay not to do…. loads of stuff… not to be super productive.  It might have been the first time that I allowed myself to take it delightfully easy physically and mentally for the day, and I didn’t stress about it.  I didn’t even listen to an audiobook today, though I had several chances.  I was glad for it.  And I was grateful for it.

And I still am.  🙂

P.S. I especially enjoyed the part where one character is talking about how he staked out all night to get tickets to see RENT on Broadway in 1996, and he is saying it to Leslie Odom, Jr.’s character.  For those who don’t understand why this is particularly silly or ironic and enjoyable, Leslie Odom, Jr. joined that production in 1998.  Fun fact.  😀

Post-a-day 2020

Oishii yo!

I discovered myself suddenly longing for udon tonight… kitsune… niku… tamago…. all together. It was funny when I was staying with my old supervisor back in January. I told her that one Japanese food I really, really liked was udon. She thought it was surprising and funny, because udon is one of the easiest Japanese dishes to make (in Japan, anyway). So, she said we definitely could have udon for dinner, and she would make it for the four of us. And then, as we talked about the different types of udon, it came out that, really, I would like to have a combination of all of them, please. She and her daughters thought it was a really funny idea – almost like if someone said she wanted all the ice cream flavors mixed together or something – but they allowed me to have it… and boy, did I praise that dinner! They thought it was funny how much I couldn’t get over the amazingness of that dish, but it was one of the best and most satisfying meals I have ever had. It was spectacular – just what I had always wanted with udon.

And now I want some more. 😛

Please send soon. 😉

Post-a-day 2020

A different ouch

Well, my hamstrings started to grow sore last night… Today, they have been amazingly sore, but only when something comes into contact with them, or I have to go from sitting to standing. Otherwise, I guess I haven’t really noticed them much… But, boy… in those moments do they hurt(!!!)… whew…

I just hope testing will be helpful tonight instead of the opposite of what they actually need – action. Either way, I’ve got to exercise tomorrow, since it didn’t happen today – things ran too close to one another today for me to get in a workout. And that was totally okay for me, by the way. I have finally begun to embrace who and how I want to be around my own physical fitness and my food and such right now. I am exercising for myself, again, and eating for myself, and it has been feeling amazing – and so easy to do, too. And I didn’t get all stressed or angry with myself or my life when the workout didn’t happen today, or when I saw yesterday that it likely wouldn’t happen today. It genuinely has been okay. And I am grateful for that.

But I’d really like to relax these aching legs already. 😛

Post-a-day 2020