Tag: dreams

Invisapain

I started my first week of invisible slingers today (instead of braces on my teeth).

I always wanted braces, but my mom couldn’t afford them, so I never had them.

My teeth aren’t terrible, but the small details of crookedness and twists have bothered me for decades, and I want that beautiful, generic, white and glistening smile that all my braces friends have gotten.

I even looked into pricing as an adult, and I still couldn’t quite afford the braces scenario for myself…, but it has been on my someday guarantee list for some time now.

Now, thanks to a friend of mine, I have a super-duper affordable option for teeth straightening…, and today was my first day using my orthodontist-approved and -monitored plan…

It totally sucks.

I mean….. the pain totally sucks.

The aligners are probably already doing a very good job at what they’re designed to do.

However…,

My tongue, my teeth, and my gums have been in constant pain since about fifteen minutes into it all.

I actually put them in last night, because doing it just before bed is recommended so that the mouth adjusts to having something in it more easily… instead, however, I woke up after three hours, needing to urinate, and I had to take out the top one, because I was in so much pain, I couldn’t fall back asleep.

When I took out the bottom one this morning, planning to go down to eat breakfast, I passed back out and slept so well, I didn’t regret it at all.

Post-breakfast, however, I’ve been doing what I’m supposed to do, and it has totally sucked.

I went this afternoon and bought a solid nail file and filed all the edges that had rubbed my tongue totally raw, and that helped a bit (but the tongue is still raw and in pain).

Then I added a drop of clove and peppermint oils each into my litre and a half water bottle, and have been drinking that all evening, and that is helping dull some of the pain (at last!!).

However, everything still hurts, and I very much dislike it.

I am hoping things will improve drastically in the next 24 hours and greatly in the next 12 hours… otherwise, I might need to figure out a new plan of action for this whole thing… I never expected so much pain… they always just said that some people experience “some discomfort”, but no one mentioned anything about pain…

Ugh..

A friend of mine is halfway through her use of these, and she never had such pain – just the common discomfort…, but she said that even that improved, and that she hardly feels a difference when she puts a new set of aligners in her mouth now… boy, I hope I can get to that point, and quite soon, please(!).

Dear God, please heal my mouth, and please ease my pains such that I might continue to straighten my teeth, but that it be comfortably done… Amen.

Here’s to strong and good intentions for my mouth(!): cheers.

Post-a-day 2019

Oink, oink!

I did lots of things today, but I dare say that the best part of today was meeting Mr. Snorty, a rockstar pet to someone I know.

He welcomed me into his home quite happily and easily, and proceeded to snort at me jollily, while sniffing and rubbing against me constantly…

I’ve never met anyone like Mr. Snorty before, but he certainly reminds me of a cross between a cat, a dog, and a barrel. 😛

I know. 😂

Mr. Snorty:

Post-a-day 2019

Cultural Villainy

This afternoon/evening, I found myself discussing various voice and talking style stereotypes in American English and in Japanese (from Japan, of course*).

It all started with seeing the film “Aladdin” in the cinema this afternoon, and then, over ice cream afterward, we veered onto Disney music and its composers a lyricists (and how amazing some of the greats are[!!!]).

Then we branched into the Japanese versions of this music, as the friend with me is Japanese, and she grew up only hearing the Japanese language versions of the songs.

We discussed differences I had found in the music, and why I thought each one was so… now that she has been living in the US for about a year, she saw exactly what I meant and genuinely understood.

“Colors of the Wind” sounds somewhat stressed and so compounded and busy in Japanese, yet the English sounds so open and contemplative, filled with deep breaths and space through the notes and the words… there are just too many syllables in the Japanese, and too many consonants in between all the vowels…

An American likely would be appalled at hearing the Japanese version of Scar’s voice, because the voice doesn’t match the type of villain that he is… it is not entitled and brooding and, almost like serial killer style, the voice of someone who is biding his time until his plot can unfurl perfectly to his advantage – until, at last, he is granted his dues, as Scar says.

To American ears, the Japanese Scar in pathetic and angry and holds no weight behind his short-man angry yelling of a voice, desperately hoping someone will listen to him and do what he wants others to do.

And yet, to Japanese ears, the Japanese Scar is exactly right: He is the stereotypical ‘bad guy’ voice and has that same ‘bad guy’ and ‘villain’ manner of speaking… the English version would sound just ‘American’, and have nothing special tied to it for Japanese ears.

And my friend was able to see and hear just these things, and mainly because she has become accustomed to hearing so many different ways of speaking that people have here in English (unlike Japanese English in Japan, which is pretty much always the same).

And, somehow, I found the whole situation to be fascinating and utterly fulfilling… I had never really thought quite so much and quite so pointedly about the translations and the voices of actors until today, though it certainly was not my first or, even, tenth time considering it all.

It had me feel an almost silly passion for Disney and, in particular, “The Lion King”, and yet I couldn’t find a reason not to care so much about it all – I love languages and music and seeing things in new ways, and these Disney movies had huge impacts on my childhood and, therefore, my life as a whole… they are a part of me… and I care about and love myself.

So, I guess I get to love those Disney films, too, silly little perfect details and all. 🙂

By the way, I went into “Aladdin” with an attitude of its being a different film and perspective of the same story as the animated version…, and I thoroughly enjoyed the film – it was wonderful(!).

And it was filmed in Jordan(!)… how cool is that?!

I don’t often go to cinemas these days (in the US, anyway), but I am glad I went today – it was a lovely experience. 🙂

*Does Japanese have a culture of native speakers anywhere else in the world?

Post-a-day 2019

A bedtime prayer

Dearest Sleep,

Engulf me, please,

For the next eight or nine hours,

So that I might awake

Refreshed and ready to go,

Ready to take on the world

And to use my unique talents and me-ness

To serve the world

By being myself

Fully,

For the greater glory of God,

I offer this prayer and this intention.

Amen.

Post-a-day 2019

Adulting

I shared with a couple adults tonight about my current endeavors, and especially how grad school is for my back-up plan and that photography is my number one plan… and they trusted it and supported it.

It was my brothers’ dad and stepmom, so they’re kind of like slightly distanced close family… like aunt and uncle distance, in a sense… so they care about me and know me rather well.

And, tonight, that was very clear to me (though I already knew it).

They asked questions first to understand the plan and financial logic, and then to understand the artistry and passion of it all.

They accepted my logic and my back-up plan with only a handful or two of questions (at which point their concerns were relieved), and then they genuinely asked about and listened to my responses regarding what I am doing with photography, artistically speaking.

They understood it.

I showed them some photos, and they had funny comments and then also genuine comments of understanding my perspective and approach to photography…

And it felt so…. freeing, I guess…

People whom I’ve always seen as ‘the adults’ in my life haven’t exactly been supportive of my current efforts, some even openly opposed and contradictory to just about everything I believe regarding work and lifestyle, and others not being opposed but not being supportive either… just somewhat passively accepting that I’m up to something or other and taking care of myself.

So it was truly refreshing – yes, that’s the word, refreshing…. aaahh – to have them respond in such a way, especially considering that they are both very practical individuals, especially financially speaking.

Yeah, tonight was really awesome… and they wanted me to show and tell them even more… and even asked if it were possible to make them look “good” in some photos (as opposed to just tolerable or old), and offered to be subjects for me, if I were interested, which I was and am… and they even offered up the idea that my doing photos would happen in exchange for a fee, which I informed them was unnecessary, because they would be doing me a service by letting me use them as low-risk subjects for practice, anyway.

I mean…, I think that none of my family has done that or even mentioned the idea of doing that with/for me…

Tonight was just a great experience, and filled with love – I adulted really well, confident in my current endeavors and in sharing them with others, and it was all fully accepted and embraced by those others.

Thank you, God and all Creation for the love that has empowered and engulfed me tonight.

May I share it with the world around me tomorrow. 🙂

Sat Naam.

Post-a-day 2019

Trustworthiness

I think it is important that we either always remain alert or always remain fully willing and able to become acutely alert at any moment in life.

Sometimes, situations are perfectly fine and safe to a point, and then w ended to be alert and wary – “Proceed with caution,” our mind must tell us.

But how often are we unwilling to become alert in a situation?

If things have been fine for so long, do we become somewhat ‘immune’ to any concern that may arise, due to the fact that nothing bad has happened so far?

Do we forget that anything can change, despite something’s having been the same for as long as we can remember?

I think this is a common situation that females can run into in relationships with males… he has been reliable and totally safe so far, so long as I have known him…, and so I miss seeing those spots where he suddenly is pushing limits, and I don’t notice things fully until something really big has happened in a way I had never hoped for things to happen… possibly something very bad… Do we give the benefit of the doubt for too long sometimes?… Do we feel guilty for turning our senses on full alert, and so force ourselves to ignore them, convince ourselves that the warning bells aren’t really there, but are just in our minds?

I think it ultimately is important for us, if not to be always on alert, always to be willing to be on full alert, and in any situation.

And I don’t mean merely females, here – I mean all people.

Do you know what I mean?

Post-a-day 2019

Summer days

I was just invited to a swimming party.

I realized that I was feeling a sense of anxiety, and I asked myself its source.

I discovered it was about being seen in a swimsuit (of any kind, really), which has been frustrating for me in recent recent years, due to my poor physical fitness level.

I quickly evaluated my body, to verify the reason for the concern.

I then chuckled silently, as I recalled that I clearly don’t have that same problem anymore, especially considering the fact that I almost ditched my shirt during our workout today (It was just so hot and humid today, and the tank top felt like it was holding warmth in!).

It’s a new feeling for me to be back to swimsuit ready at the drop of a hat, and to be fully comfortable with the thought of swimsuits and whoever might be around while I’m in one.

And it is a very good feeling. 🙂

Thank you, gym, and thank you, God, for getting me to this gym where beautiful magic is happening, at long last.

Post-a-day 2019

Another step forward

Can you guess what this is?

I went to a sort of dentist… orthodontist?… today.

For thousands cheaper than I was offered way back in the day, it looks like I might be able to start a series of 3-D-printed clear retainers that will straighten up my teeth, at last.

In the appointment, they gave me a set to whiten my teeth, and so I am sitting here, plugged into the power strip with my teeth whitening mouthpiece for five minutes of super-powered (though electricity is really doing the powering, to be literal here) teeth whitening.

I hope it works… my family all have slightly yellowed teeth, and we always have, so it isn’t about staining from food and drink for us, but I hope it works, nonetheless.

Whatever the case, I look forward to the teeth-straightening thing working out beautifully… I hope that one works.

Here’s to happy teeth! 😉

Post-a-day 2019

What’s the point?

Aimlessly I pace, pause, glance…, repeat… until I realize that it is not aimlessly after all… merely fruitlessly…

“What is my aim?” I ask, originally expecting an answer about what topic to use for writing…

“To provide beautiful inspiration through new perspectives,” is the reply, clearly referencing more than just tonight’s aim of finding a topic about which to write…

So, we’ll roll with this idea…

“Did I know this already?”

“Yes, I believe so… perhaps you just set it aside with all the off-and-on panic you temporarily embraced, and forgot its depth for a while…, but you knew it already, yes.”

……

I seem to have done this much lately, letting fear and concerns get in the way of what I want to do in the world with my life, what I am almost committed to doing… perhaps it is because I’m not committed to doing it that I allow myself to push it aside(?)… yes, that would not surprise me…

Fear and concern show up, and, instead of allowing them to be expressed and then move onward, I have embraced them a bit here and there… fortunately, I always seem to let them go, however, I think I could use some work on letting them go much sooner than I have been doing.

Every time I release the fear involved in something, say photography, I end up doing something spectacular or having something spectacular happen to or for me…, so I think it is high time I spent a bit more attention on creating a commitment to providing beautiful inspiration through new perspectives in what I do, and to allowing fear and concern to express themselves and then be released immediately…

I can do this, I know, so let’s just do it already. 🙂

Smiles away! 🙂

Post-a-day 2019

Dressed for Work

Tonight, I attended with my mom a sake mini-course and tasting event.

As predicted, every Japanese man was in a dark suit with a white shirt… however, the slight touch of color was found in a tie or pocket square in the Americanized men.

Also as predicted, there was a fabulous array of Japanese foods, the presentation was brief but extremely informative, and the tasting was hilariously wonderful.

While there, I considered strongly at one point what everyone else was wearing.

Beforehand, I had asked my mom, a person who is usually quite particular about dressing to the appropriate level for things, if I needed to change into a different dress than what I had on… I showed her the dress, which was a much nicer and more business-y version of what I already was wearing, and she didn’t think the change was needed…. she pointed out that she was wearing something quite similar, albeit slightly nicer-looking (same color scheme, different pieces).

We had been at an art film showing earlier on, and I had worn my current outfit for that and felt totally comfortable in my choice, but I figured it was best to check with her regarding the Japanese event.

Sure enough, once there, she commented that we should have known everyone would be in business suits and the likes, since it was a Japanese event… I reminded her that that was precisely why I had asked about my outfit ahead of time, and she rather shrugged her shoulders unconcernedly at this with an Oh, well…, and we moved on to enjoy ourselves, anyway.

At this point, I thought about how everyone was probably just coming straight from work, anyway, and so they were all just in work clothes… and then I realized that I, too, was coming straight from work and that I, too, was just in work clothes…

I don’t have a corporate job in an office with a cubicle on a floor in a big building… or anything like it… I’m a writer and photographer… and, today, I was editing photos, and then sent them off to a client – much work accomplished for a single afternoon, actually… and this cotton dress and summer sandals are what I wore to do that… casual and cute, but not office business…

In “Hannah’s Life, Created”, a notebook I compiled a couple years back, while living in Japan, I have a brief description of what I want my work attire to be… tonight was a beautiful acknowledgement of my having achieved that desire, and, in that instant of noticing this, I was filled with a sense of calm confidence in regards to my life – I am doin a beautiful job of pursuing my goals and dreams and of becoming and being the person I want to be.

I’m not all the way there yet… I am there with some things, though, and I am well on my way to more and more at any moment(!!!)…. and I love it.

I really do love it.

Yes, it would have made sense to wear the nicer dress tonight… no, it didn’t ultimately matter for what tonight specifically was…, yes, it was amazing to notice what I did about being in my ‘work clothes’, and so was totally worth it this time to be a bit under-dressed…, and no, I never really quite fit in at Japanese events, anyway – Gaijin Smash to the max!**

So yeah… we had an awesome time at the event, learned loads about sake. – and yes, I am fully aware of how odd it is that I take such an interest in sake, when I drink just about no alcohol in the average month – and ate wonderful foods over wonderful conversations.

And I had a lovely discovery about my current status in life, and it tickles and overjoys me even now, hours later. 🙂

Yay, life!

And thank you, God, for entrusting me with this piece of the path – I love this part, and I trust you fully, as I throw myself fully into this lovely hard work!

Peace

Hannah

**Man, do I miss my store Mister Maxx in Toride, Ibaraki!… like a cross between Target, Petsmart, and a bakery!

Post-a-day 2019